How can you tell that your partner for 30 years wants to be out of the marriage?

Question

Just enumerate all the possible signs and I start from there. Thanks for all your ideas and answers.

Answer 1

He's having an affair (these are ususally "exit" affairs, can even be long term, depending on how long he's wanted out).

He's over involved in activities outside the home (work, church, taking classes, hobbies, socializing with friends & excluding you - or barely including you, etc).

"Picks" fights and/or "pushes your buttons" when he's around - and he's not around all that often.

Finds fault with you, your habits, your home, etc, endlessly. Nothing at all seems to please him.

Doesn't listen to what you want or what you're doing in your life; when he does listen, tells you what you need to do in order to "get it right" and gets mad because you had to ask him about it in the first place.

Just isn't "there" for you.

There's money you know should be coming into the household, but you never see it (or have any clue where it went). Its a clue he's either filling a void in his life with shopping, has someone on the side, or is stashing some away for his get away, or any combination of the above.

He seems angry or withdrawn almost all the time.

Stays in a separate room from you (garage, workshop, den, while you're in the family room, kitchen, etc).

Doesn't come home until after you're asleep.

Doesn't join you in bed until you're sound asleep.

Doesn't get up at the same time you do in the mornings.

Lack of sexual interest or expressions of affection. Can talk a good talk when he is "supposed" to (like a Valentines card), but actions speak louder than words and the action just isn't there.

He's posted a profile on a dating site. Or two. Or three.

Total apathy.

Is more concerned about the looks of the house and yard than about what's going on inside your head. (He's thinking about splitting the equity with you, and wants as much as possible.)

Spends as much time as possible on the weekends away from you and the house.



feel free to email me....I can probably give you some better advice privately!

Answer 2

The biggest problem with your question is, wanting out, cheating, and a stale marriage have kinda the same symptoms.
After 30 yrs. you should have an idea about what's going on. Are they acting differently? Maybe hire a P.I. if you think their cheating.
If cheating isn't the problem then set down and talk, something good has kept you together this long. Find it again, Kids shouldn't be an issue, so get away together, if only for the weekend.
You may just need to restart the fire in your marriage.
Unless their cheating your a rarity now adays so hang in there

Answer 3

1. No longer shows affection (kiss good bye or hello)
2. No longer share the same bedroom
3. Does not attend any family functions
4. Does not communicate with you
5. You can no longer laugh together in your shared conversations
6. No longer have verbal communications with each other
7. You feel as he/she is throwing daggers behind your back
8. You have the urge to smash their face in when they look at you
9. You immediately think "where's my gun when they approach you about intamacy.
10. You cannot wait for them to leave the house for whatever reason
11. When they do leave the house, you hope they don't return.
12. There is no kind exchange of words, all that is said is mean, spiteful, nasty and said with the intention of hurting the other.
13. You no longer like your children because they remind you of your husband/wife.

Thats all I can offer....right now

Answer 4

When the Communication and affection is gone. After 30 years you know this person well and can tell when somethings not right.

Answer 5

ou find strange text message, ur partner is on the ph, and when u come in the room, they hang up, they want to be out and about n their own, they don't like to spend much time w/ u, and if they do, they r in a bad mood, or cranky, they don't want u to touch them or have sex w/ them, u no longer communicate, they are always in a bad mood, they joke around about maybe gettung a divorce, they want time apart, they are taking care of themselves..looking good..

Answer 6

I was married for 31 years. and if you don't know your husband after 30 years, i think that's the best answer

Answer 7

After 30 years you can sense when things are wrong...if you feel it, you're probably right.

Answer 8

No communication, lack of affection, away from home for extended times, lies, secrets, I could go one

Answer 9

I honestly think that you already know the answer to that one.

Answer 10

no interest in sex
being secretive
not wanting to talk to you
increased interest in other women
boredom
depression