To be honest I am very worried about the future, I am having a really hard time with my runaway husband who doesn't want any children after 10 years we have been together and I have to decide what i will do with him. But I can't decide and we live apart at the mo. Sad. I am glad I have my friends, but it is still not what I want, which is my own home with my little family inside, warm and secure, living together happily ever after. You see I live in the future... but with my friends, I live in the present and it is all happy and superficial indeed... because there is no 'building the future together' as I take everyday as it comes with them. But as a woman it doesn't satisfy me. Time flies and my chances to have children reduce (I am 35y.o.). I think men (in particular young men) can be simpler in that sense that they are happy just having fun with one (or several) relationship and don't think further... am I right?
2007-03-09 06:05:38 · 12 answers · asked by thegreaterescape 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
just do what you wanna do, and enjoy life as it happens
2007-03-09 06:09:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you spend too much time worrying about what chances might come you way, you'll miss the ones that do.
You say you want:
- your own home
- a family
- security
- children
All these are realisable. The happy ever after isn't and never will be.
10 years is a long time together and it is clear that you still love him. Is it a definite no from him? I'd suggest some counselling, either as a couple or by yourself, because you need to work through this your own way. There is the option of adopting on your own, but with the greatest respect, I don't think you're in the right frame of mind to do this yet. I think sitting down with a professional would be really beneficial (your GP will be able to put you in touch with someone) because it seems like you're trying to grapple with so many problems and being overwhelmed.
Whatever you decide I wish you the best of happiness for the present and future.
2007-03-09 06:17:19 · answer #2 · answered by distant_foe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Living in the past or living in the future are both dead ends. Live in the NOW. There is ONLY the NOW in everyone's life.
Worrying about the future based on your past is what drives people crazy and causes gross unhappiness.
Alright, so someone did something that you didn't like and wasn't in your plans for the future (living in the future always thinking about the past). You cannot control others--they are going to do what they're going to do.
To be happy, determine what it is you want (seems like you've done that). Do little things every day (your Now and your Now and your Now) to work towards it. Put yourself in situations where you meet someone who will likely have the same life goals are yourself and wants the same things out of life. Keep checking on where you are and make adjustments if you're not getting the feedback you want (that is, you're not heading in the directdion you want to go). Stop living in the past or the future as you travel towards where you want to be. Live in the NOW.
You'll find that you enjoy the journey, and the results you really want will appear. Stay in the NOW, and out of your past or future.
2007-03-09 06:23:55 · answer #3 · answered by Pete S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Married ten years and just now discovering that your spouse doesn't want kids. Without knowing the reason, I can only say its time to move on and chalk it up to experience. It only took me seven years to come to that same realization and here I am two years later with a new wife and a 3 month old son. Life is too short and too uncertain to imagine "if only". Time to live in the present and direct the present to the future you want. Hope this helps. God Bless you.
2007-03-09 06:16:21 · answer #4 · answered by anothersomeonenew 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are not getting what you need from your husband, then it is time to move on. Otherwise your dream of having children of your own will never come true. Live in the present and dream of the future. That is what I do. If you aren't getting what you want, no one is going to hand it to you. Go after what you want.
2007-03-09 06:15:02 · answer #5 · answered by hello 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
disregarding your current situation which forced you to ask the question, you should live for NOW not the future, as NOW is the only time you'll ever experience, if you spend your time worrying about whats going to happen, you miss everything as it goes by, and then when the future comes around, its no longer the future, but NOW and it didnt turn out the way you wanted it to in the "past".
Its all a matter of perception.
2007-03-09 06:14:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have little ones or close friends who ought to benefit as beneficiaries on your will? regrettably, maximum interior the u . s . a . and probable in different Western secular international locations attempt to stay some distance too plenty for instant pleasures now ! They develop into trapped in borrowing money at a intense interest fee from banks or credit taking part in cards, or maybe playing ! seem what this financial leverage has achieved now to banks, Wall highway, and the financial equipment ! This recession-melancholy could final 15-25 extra years. if so, people will actually replace their values and how they take care of money. sensible persons save money and not in any respect purchase something till they have the money to achieve this. Many effectual people have stored 70% or extra of their earnings for some years till now spending plenty on a sturdy agency to earn extra funds; or they provide their decrease fee expenses away to the worth needy. it actual relies upon on your latest values. Are they actual, psychological, ethical, social, non secular, or a mixture? i'm hoping this facilitates. Peace and progression in Spirit and in certainty !
2016-11-23 17:37:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The future is the now and never the past as it dont exists anymore so live for today and nothing else.
If you miss today thats it never to return so there is my answer.
we all worry about what should be done or doing why! does it really matter? consentrate on the NOW!.
2007-03-09 20:48:27 · answer #8 · answered by SAMANTHA H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should live in the present, day by day. You may not be around as long as you think. Just worry about today and enjoy every moment!
2007-03-09 06:13:24 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. Wifey! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since there seems to be no real bond between you and your husband (read: children), feel free to divorce.
2007-03-09 06:19:06 · answer #10 · answered by Buchyex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live each moment as well as you can, and the next moment will always be better than it would have been otherwise.
2007-03-12 22:15:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋