in the last 2weeks i have had 5 letters and 2 phone calls saying she has been sent out or removed by a pastroal manager for defiance and disruption i dont no what to do please help me:(
2007-03-09 05:23:35 · 26 answers · asked by kt 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
a pastrol manager is the people in the school who deal with behaveior
shes 14 and is getting removed from lessons and she isconstantly in detention she hasn't got any thing like adhd it just seems she behaves on her own terms which oviously cant happen.
2007-03-11 00:50:49 · update #1
Go to the school - ask for an appointment and then discuss what exactly is going on - Thank god for parents like you that are prepared to ask what to do. Maybe your daughter could go on report. Ask for feedback from each of her subject teachers - talk to your daughter - who is influencing her - peer pressure is difficult to combat without the support of the school , I sincerely wish you the very best of luck
2007-03-09 05:27:24 · answer #1 · answered by gaviscon 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is simply not enough information to give a strong answer for you.
What is going on with her? How old is she? What is a pastoral manager? Do you have discipline in the home? (not talking about spankings, but real discipline as in reasonable consequences for wrong behavior) Has something changed dramatically in the last two weeks? Could this be some sort of organic behavioral thing, like something has caused her brain chemistry to go out of whack. Is she hanging out with kids who behave like this. What is the nature of her discipline issues.
What did you do the first time she was defiant, or disruptive?
2007-03-09 13:30:03 · answer #2 · answered by thankyou "iana" 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok i read through ALL the comments and nearly all of them say disepline her. Disepline is not what this girl needs right now she needs an affectionate,understanding mother who will listen to her when she needs i. Talk to her ask her WHY she is behaving like this and say to her "Listen darling, I can't help you if I don't know what is up with you, please don't be bad because not on;ly are you goin to ruin your own education but other peoples aswell, and if I was you I wouldn't want to do that" This girl cannot be told what to do you have to give her structure and stability and by the way ust to note all the epople leaving comments are adults and i am a teenager age 13 so i think i sohuld know how she feels sort of because I too used to be bad in class and i kept getting told what ot do and i hate being told what to do I just wanted epople to comprimise and ask me if i could do it. It got so out of hand that i got taken away from my mum and then sent to a foster home. It got so far that i even took an overdose because people kept on telling and telling me what to do instead of askin me so please listent to her before it gets that far because i know for a fact that the last thing you want is for her to go as far as me. I wrote a letter to my mum and ateachers and told them how i felt then i went back home and life got much better and brighter for me. I amn't spoilt. Just listened to hope i can help..............
2007-03-10 10:17:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your daughter has only just starting being disruptive in school then their must a reason behind it, it's possible she may have older girls/boys picking on her, could it be she's coming into puberty and does she know she can talk to you about how she's feeling, i have 2 daughters and the oldest one started being disruptive in school and i found out it was a cry for help coz she was being bullied by some of the other girls in her class.
Hope you get to the bottom of this.
2007-03-10 20:55:50 · answer #4 · answered by LJM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to talk to your daughter and find out what's going on. Also ask the teachers, I'm thinking that's what the pastroal manager is, what they've observed. Once you know more information then you can formulate a plan to fix it. Remind your daughter she has to follow the rules and be quiet in class. Let her know that if she can't, she'll be punished at home as well as at school. I'm om to 3 and my son has caused me to get more of those kinds of letters and calls than I can count.
2007-03-09 13:28:28 · answer #5 · answered by Melanie A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
see if i ever have kids the first thing that i would teach them from an early age is manners and respect for others. You don't show her who's the boss so she think she is. She thinks that she can walk all over anybody if she can walk all over you. What you need to do is show her who wears the pants in the house because right now she thinks that she does!!! If I were you I would start right Now before it gets out of hand.
2007-03-11 19:09:06 · answer #6 · answered by MRZ.SQUAREPANTS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be understaning with your daughter as i am sure you are, this can be very frustrating. Have ther been any major changes or stresses for her? Try to talk to her as much as you can and try not to get angry. It is also a good idea to talk to teachers to see if they can shed any light on her behaviour. Dont be afraid to punish her if she over steps the line, and make sure your parenting is consistent. Most of all make sure you dont get too upset yourself as by carring this burden is taking the responsibily away from her. Best of luck for the future xx
2007-03-12 10:42:01 · answer #7 · answered by Zalia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a senior youth worker i strongly believe in talking to young people when problems arise, I am assuming she is in her teenage years yes?
teenagers go through phases..... please do not yell and shout at her. instead talk to her.... find out what the problem is... give her the chance to tell you what is going on. Sometimes it is one teacher that takes a dislike to a youngeter and in turn the youngster acts up. if the teacher is the problem then it needs to be sorted out... believe me in about half of all cases where kids are removed it is because the teacher did not handle the situation...... not because the kid is over naughty.
it amazes me at how many of the replies refer to dicipline... you people should realise that adolescence is a normal part of life... we were all there once and id like to see just how many of you lot never acted up in school when you felt picked on....
talk to your daughter...... do not judge her..... find out what is going on then work on a solution together........ do not scram and yell and threaten punishment untill you have got to the bottom of it ........ and do not feel you have to punish just because a load of people on here tell you to..... trust your own judgement.... believe me your the parent...... not all these other peole.... believe in yourself and believe in your daughter. together you can sort this mess out...... please stay open minded ...... there may be a perfectly logical reason for all of this....
anna
2007-03-10 17:03:07 · answer #8 · answered by in the truth 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sit and talk with her. ask her what is going on in her life that is causing her to act this way. It could be many different things such as O.D.D (oppositional defiance disorder) A.D.H.D (attention deficit disorder) or depression. if she answers you with "I don't know" don't get frustrated there is a good chance that she may not. then again this could also just be a way for her to get your attention allot of times children act out when they feel neglected. I hope this helps! if you have any more questions on this subject feel free to email me!
2007-03-09 13:31:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to her and tried to find out what is behind all this? Is this a sudden change in behaviour? If she was being bullied for example, she may be TRYING to get thrown out of school.
If this is just a rough patch of teenage behaviour, taking away privileges sometimes helps or grounding.
Best of luck.
2007-03-11 12:38:46 · answer #10 · answered by rainbowarrior73 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋