ok see i have been dating this guy for a lil over a year!. and i love him more then anything in the world! he is going to iraq this summer bcuz he is a marine. and he is my everything but im only 16..see that doesn't matter to me or not but like i don't really think that im ready to get married, he wants to get married after i graduate and i kindof don't want to get married that soon, he asked me to marry him on christmas and it was the greatest feeling in the world and i said yea, so now we are engaged and my parents don't mind as long as i wait untill i graduate!..how do i tell him i'm not ready to get married, or do you think i am!..i really don't know anymore!
2007-03-09 05:13:06 · 11 answers · asked by nikki m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hmmm..well no one can really tell you you're ready but you. I mean you don't sound too sure right now. I can see where you'd feel rushed because he's going to Iraq and you don't know for sure when he'll be back. so you may have to wait a year or two to get married. I do think you are too young. I mean you are graduating soon, but do you have plans after graduation. I think you should work on getting your education and living your life now while you still have the time. Once you get married and settled down, you can't do all the things you could before. I'd wait a little longer until you're sure you're ready. Then, you need to tell him you don't want to get married right now. He may have asked you because he will be leaving soon and he wanted you to commit to be with him so he wouldn't have to worry about that while he's gone. it won't be so easy but you just have to sit him down and tell him how you feel about everything and hopefully he will understand.
2007-03-09 05:38:13 · answer #1 · answered by angelicasongs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not old enough!!! I have been a military wife for 14 years. It is a hard life! The fact that you are even asking this question shows that you are not mature enough. Do you know how to manage a home and pay the bills? Do you know anything about the military? If he is over 18, he can actually get in trouble just for dating you! Do you think you can handle being alone all the time? Oh and by the way, things change really fast in the military, until he has the orders in his hand, he has no idea if he is really going to Iraq or not. You need to focus on school right now, finish that then see if you are still wanting to be married to him. I have seen so many young military guys get married just because they are lonely after leaving home, they just want someone to be with them.
2007-03-09 05:21:01 · answer #2 · answered by EllD75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it, just tell him that you love him and that you'll be there for him when he gets back, be supportive while he's there. Even if you don't think things are going well while he's there, still be supportive, and write him alot. He will need to keep his mind on being safe and not on what his girlfriend is or isn't doing!
Don't rush into marriage. I've seen it time and time again. (I've been married to a Marine for almost 20 years). Alot of guys marry young, the baby comes quick and then the problems follow from duty station to duty station). I've seen it all and heard it all. (Volunteered for Domestic Violence on different bases) If you're not ready tell him and your parents that you're not ready. I'm sure your parents will support your decision. He may be upset at first but tell him that if he loves you he'll respect your wishes. There is no rush, take your time.
2007-03-09 05:25:36 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 16? Your still a kid and not even ready to get married, let along even think about it. You going to get married at 18, squeeze out 3 or 4 kids, live in a trailer and live off of his minimal salery? Nothing against either of you. You will have minimal education and be a stay-at-home uneducated mom.
This has disaster written all over it. You think you two are in love, but you don't even know what love and committment is. You see him on the weekends and maybe an hour or 2 at night over the couse of a year? Puppy love, maybe. Real love, no! My wife and I dated for 9 years before we got married, and we've been married for 11 solid years. Don't wreck your life early!
2007-03-09 07:23:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you're not ready. Take your time! What's the rush? If you're not mature enough to stick up for yourself and say "no" when you feel it's the right thing to say - you're certainly not mature enough to get married. I don't mean it in a bad way - it takes time and experience to learn more about yourself, to learn more about what you need, and to build up confidence in making life-changing decisions. If you grew up in a good stable environment, chances are you haven't had to make too many serious decisions at your age - so of course you're not sure how to do it. My advice - don't rush. Learn by making lesser decisions first. Get out on your own, continue your education, meet new people. And most important - don't be afraid to be honest. Even when you love someone, you still have to be able to be true to yourself.
2007-03-09 05:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie if you can't tell him you're not ready to get married.....then frankly you're not ready to get married.
The foundation of marriage is communication. Don't go into with hesitation or secrets. Just doing it, because you think that's how you'll keep him isn't fair to either of you.
16 is so young, I promise you have a lifetime to be married to him. Allow yourself to have a youth before committing to something so serious.
I would just sit him down and assure him you're in love with him and have no intentions of leaving him. However it's just not the right time to get married and promise it will happen, just not right now.
2007-03-09 05:19:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're not ready. Just tell him. Yes, he may get angry, but if he really loves you he'll understand and he'll wait. Getting married in a hurry because he's going off to war is a wrong reason to marry. You will be glad later that you waited - trust me.
2007-03-09 05:23:31 · answer #7 · answered by Dino 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him out right!
I'm not ready, for a commitment yet .
And what the hell are you at 16 dating a marine?
Your too young !
In fact he could be charged with assault on a minor if not 18 years old under the UCMJ!
2007-03-09 05:22:14 · answer #8 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got married b4 i was ready and it was the worst mistake i ever made. i spent more on the divorce than on the marriage. if you love him agree to see him only and to stay engaged IF he agrees to wait until after you have graduated and then both of you discuss if and when you should get married. good luck
2007-03-09 05:23:56 · answer #9 · answered by iwill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some questions here first...how old is he...??
you are only sixteen- i personally think that is a little young to be getting married. Remember that marriage is a LIFE TIME commetment...personally i think you should wait a little longer until you get married, but the only answer is to follow what your heart is telling you..
2007-03-09 05:20:09 · answer #10 · answered by stephanie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋