My friend is 16 and will be 17 next week. She is kinda overweight but still has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend is 18 or 19, and he lives in a bad neighbourhood. He is fat, also.
On Monday, I saw her with a hickey.
It's not really that ... okay, it kind of bothers me because hickies are gross. But, mainly, what bothers me is that her boyfriend spends the night every weekend. And she's told my other friend that she's not a virgin.
I am scared that she's a sex addict at such a young age. I don't want her to get pregnant. She usually gets all A's but not this year. She has everything going for her, a good university and a good career... I don't want her to mess it up for some nasty guy.
She's too good for him anyway.
2007-03-09 04:56:41 · 20 answers · asked by Sarah* 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I did not mention this, but there are people who laugh behind her back.
2007-03-09 05:08:00 · update #1
and the people laugh behind her back because she is fat. They believe in the fat=lonely philosophy.
I am not jealous of her. I don't like her boyfriend. I liked her old boyfriend though but she dumped him because she thught he was boring.
I mean, if she had a fit boyfriend, then yes, I would be jealous.
I am just worried about her, and I am not against fat people.
2007-03-09 05:22:28 · update #2
I just don't understand why kids are in such a hurry to wreck their lives these days. Please tell her as a friend that she has too much going for her to risk it by becoming another unwed teenage mother. I can tell you from experience that later in life you regret stupid decisions you made as a young person. You wake up one day and everything is a mess... your life is just all wrong because of bad choices years ago. You sound like a pretty together person. Be a good example for her, try to warn her, let her know there are serious consequences for poor choices. Beyond that, it's probably out of your hands.
2007-03-09 05:07:25 · answer #1 · answered by Bluebellringy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you her Mother? No your her friend supposedly, and yet you almost sound surprised that she has a boyfriend because she is "over weight"
What your friend get's up to with her B/F is no concern of yours what so ever, if he gives her hickies that's their business, just because you dont like them it doesn't mean they have to stop to spare your feelings.
Just because he spends every other weekend with her does not make her a sex addict, just a young girl/boy exploring their relationship.
It sounds to me as though you are very jealous of your friends relationship, you dont like her B/F because he's "fat" your words not mine, he comes from a bad neighbourhood and gives her hickies!
There's a fine line between being a concerned friend and one who feels threatened when a boy appears on the scene.
The only thing you can do is voice your concerns and leave it at that, it's her life so let her live it as she wants to .
The thing that really stands out most in this situation is your use of the word "fat", she's kinda overweight, he's fat, because she's fat, i've nothing against fat people, keep telling yourself you have nothing against "fat" people and you might actually believe it!
2007-03-09 17:50:52 · answer #2 · answered by The Original Highbury Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your friend is probably at the age where she is curious and trying things out. I wouldn't go so far as to say that she's a sex addict (nymphomaniac). Having sex is a perfectly natural thing and when you start out it is very exciting.
If this guy really is trouble then maybe talk to her and tell her that she is too good for him. I had a similar problem with a friend of mine and it was quite difficult but he eventually dumped his troublesome girlfriend and he found the right person who is fantastic and he has never been happier.
By the way, hickies aren't gross :-)
2007-03-09 13:05:08 · answer #3 · answered by greenfan109 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you worried about your friend, or are you worried about how all this is affecting your image as her friend?
If you are just worried about her, then speak to her and tell her you are a little concerned, but DON'T judge her. Friends should support each other whether they agree with the way their friends are living their life or not. She is not hurting anyone else, and as long as she is happy and comfortable with the situation, that is all that matters.
When people laugh behind her back, what do you do?
Hopefully you stick up for her instead of joining in with them.
If you are a true friend you'll stick by her no matter what, and if things do go wrong for her you'll be there to pick up the pieces (without saying "I told you so").
2007-03-09 13:16:47 · answer #4 · answered by Copper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I highly doubt she is a sex addict. I know a lot of people who had sex every day throughout their late teen years. If she has sex only in the evening at weekends and uses the correct protection then she is doing nothing wrong.
She might be making a mistake by putting her personal life ahead of her studies on weekends but really that is her choice.
2007-03-09 13:07:28 · answer #5 · answered by monkeymanelvis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether you agree with her decisions and choices or not, I'm afraid it really is none of your business. I'm sure you are concerned, but she is old enough to make her own mistakes. Are you sure you are not a bit resentful that she is spending time with him and not you?
One more thing, why did you feel the need to point out their weight issues? There ARE people out there who don't care about that sort of thing, and I find it a little sad that you seem to assume that being overweight=being alone. I'm not trying to be nasty to you, just trying to make you see that commenting on a persons weight is mean and pointless. OK?
2007-03-09 13:07:50 · answer #6 · answered by lululaluau 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that you do not have an issue with her being fat, your own words,but you make a point of putting it in your post, fat or thin she has a right to run her life how she sees fit
2007-03-09 13:51:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her in a way that wont make her think your jealous. if she's your best mate then she should listen to you worries.
the only thing you can do is talk otherwise you'll end up falling out and she'll learn the hard way. dont feel responsible for any of her mistakes,just try and be a friend.
2007-03-09 13:04:00 · answer #8 · answered by Honeybee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you are not so much jealous of your freind as you are worried. Talk to her about this and then if she refuses to listen, discuss this with her parents. As far as you go, you are showing signs of jealousy. You may have some personal growth to do yourself.
2007-03-09 13:35:50 · answer #9 · answered by ~N3VA W0ULD HAV3 MAD3 IT~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop trying to run other people lifes for them and let them get on with it what if she dos'nt have a sex addiction and you are just paranoid what if she ends up hating you 4 getting involved
2007-03-09 13:07:02 · answer #10 · answered by immortal_god 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋