Question about sex for married people with children?

Question

It is hard sometimes to find the time to have sex with my husband since we had kids. He works an early shift and goes to bed quite early (8pm). I put the kids to bed sometimes at 7:30 &hope they go to sleep fairly quick so we might can do it. By the time they go to sleep (which is usually by 8) my husband is asleep. It's frustrating to both of us. Also, I like to try different things like doing it @ different places. He doesn't ever want to try new things. We live out in the country and are surrounded by woods. I would LOVE to just go outside & do it in the woods. I have this fantasy of doing it on his 4wheeler. We could do this while the kids are in bed. My question for you is:What are some fun ways that you can spice up your sex life & where have you did it just because you couldn't do it at home (kids)?

Answer 1

Yes I know how that feels, having kids and your husband being so tired. What your going through right now is like what I went through when my 3 kids were toddler. See if this can help you, it might not but at least try. Let your husband sleep for at least 3-4 hours, then the kids will be deep sleep, light a few candles, and you make the first move, you'll see he might think that its sexy because you are the one who's seducing him.
Or during his days off, let someone watch your kids, and from there you can come up with lots of idea, don't ever give up. The two of you deserve quality time together. Baby your husband so he will not feel that his not important anymore in your life since the kids arrived. I've done this, so I think you can too,.................good luck!!

Answer 2

My wife and I struggled with this after the birth of our son. Sometimes you have to hear the answer you don't want to, and here it is: no matter if you like it or not, his schedule has to take presidence. If he doesn't get enough sleep, he could loose his job, and then where will you be. He can't just ask them to change his schedule and expect it to happen. You talk about wanting to spice up your sex life, I think what he's afraid of is that the *only* sex he's going to get is the spicy stuff that takes a lot of preparation.

Here's a novel idea: have a friend that you trust come over once a week or so to tuck the kids into bed... meanwhile, you'll tuck your husband into bed. Or your kids can spend the night somewhere. The solution my wife and I came to was that every Friday night, our son stays with either her mom or my parents while we go on a date and then Saturday morning is all about me.

Work on fixing the ordinary aspect of your sex life before you start to explore the more exciting. More exciting stuff takes more energy and time, and if you can't make the time and energy for just regular sex, then you sure can't make the time and energy for the wild.

Answer 3

What a question. hmmmm. Well, we never let the fact that the kids might be awake be a reason that we don't have sex. In fact, sometimes kids can be woken up in the middle of the night and then wonder what exactly is that noise they heard. Every morning after we have awoken and are eating breakfast together (all of us) the kids will ask if we had any dreams that we can remember. One morning, my oldest son asked the question and my husband and I answered no. He then goes on to say, well that is weird, because I personally think mom had a nightmare that was so bad she was crying. LOL. So there's my answer. I am going to read the others' answers to maybe get some tips on spicing it up!

Answer 4

Being a parent, I fully understand.

I would suggest several things.
1. wake up early, and then wake up your hubby in a very nice way. Early morning sex is fun, and don't have to worry about the kids.
2. join him in the shower in the morning, or at night.
3. put on a new dvd for the kids, take your husband outside, and take him.
4. rent a hotel room, and drop the kids off with a sitter.
5. tell the kids you need some time with daddy, and then lock the door and have a quicky.
6. the next time you go for a long drive, put his hand in a nice warm wet place, or on your breasts. (we have had wonderful times at night when driving. the kids can't see anything)
7. set up a hammock, and use it. weekends and night after kids in bed.
8. send him dirty IM's, and suggestive text messages.
9. are the kids in school? Have him come home to eat somethign for lunch, or to give you somethign to eat for lunch.
10. when making dinner, just rub up against him, murmur what you want to do, or have him do to you in his ear, touch him... get worked up, adn then go lock the door, and work it out.

It is ok, to use the TV to babysit for that.

Answer 5

First thing to do....have your husband help with putting the kids to bed. We have two kids so....he starts with the little one and I start with the bigger one...we read a story, kisses hugs, then we switch, by the time the kids are down, we are both getting ready for bed at the same time and going to bed together. This has made a big difference with us.
There is nothing wrong with being spontanious! If you guys aren't doing it that often then I'm sure it only takes a few minutes or so....just get the kids occupied with something and sneak tell them you have to go get firewood or something. :)
If he is not showing interest....there could be a clinical reason. Depression will do that to a person. Be there for him emotionally, ask him to tell you about his day kind of thing....
Good luck!

Answer 6

my wife and i work long shifts and are son age 7 is always around . so it hard to have fun .but my wife and i do sneak every now and then if there going to be some kind of cartoon marathon on is useless the best time for my wife and to have some time together. or we have to wait until he sleep and that about 8pm. but for spicing thing up my wife and i just last night started using ice on each other. man is that fun. so try it my wife think the ice in the girl right after i been in make her O stronger. so try it. Good luck.

Answer 7

I suggest you set your alarm clock at a convenient time for both of you, continue to communicate and agree on a specific time. You can also plan a mini-get away once a month by having the kids with a trusted relative and have a mini-honeymoon again. As far as your fantasy, share this with your husband and who knows, you may be surprise at his response.

Answer 8

Sounds like your lives are full. So try this find someone to take the kids overnight, on his day off. Mine are older teenagers so wrestling with mom won't cut it any more.
With his work, sounds like your going to have wait until his days off. Tell him your fantasies there not to far out there, If he's worried about getting caught on the 4 wheeler leave it in the garage, You just keep tryin sweetheart, it'll be OK

Answer 9

Boy, that's a lot of different issues in one question.

If you want to do it oputside it's simple. Tell him you want to go for a walk in thw woods with him. When you are far enough in strip off all your clothes. If he doesn't jump you he is gay. : )

We have done it in the car, hotel rooms, and fields.

I am assuming that the kids are old enough to be left without a sitter for an hour.

Answer 10

I have a toddler at home (bedtime's 10pm). We're ok there ! Things we've done to spice things up..Well, before the baby and can still be done.... tied to the bed and cut off clothes with a knife, broken furniture (twice), and gotten carpet burns. Things we've done, but can't do now is having him scream in ecstasy or begging for mercy (happened a few times, but can't remember how I done it). We still go to secluded areas, but we go late at night while our son will be asleep in his car seat. Having a little one doesn't stop us.. just causes a postponement!