Polyamorous Relationships???

Question

I was wondering if anyone is in one, and how do you go about meeting other people that are in relationships like that. My husband and I are Polyamorous and been that way for a year now.... We love it but most of our friends and family think we have lost our mind. I would also like to know what people think of a Polyamorous Relationship in todays world????

Answer 1

I suppose you know that most who answer this question will slam you. I also understand your need to reach out to like minded folks, and perhaps get some affirmation.

Every relationship is unique. It is not necessary to live your lives within some social norm. Do what feels right to the two of you, even if others don't understand it.

My partner and I have a polyamorous relationship. We have a relationship that is totally honest and totally trusting. We both know that love is love and sex is sex. We do not NEED anyone else but we both do enjoy others in our lives, both physically and emotionally. We do not rule out the possibility of being with someone for "a moment" simply because we are both attracted to them. At the same time, we tend to look for those with whom we can have a deeper and more meaningful emotional bond. We feel that our love for one another is such that there is some to share with other(s). At the same time, we both know that OUR relationship must always be the priority; the core and anchor of any expanded relationship. No one else comes into our fold without the full agreement of the other.

A French philosopher (I don't remember who) once said words to this effect: "The chains of matrimony are heavy. They can not be carried by one. They require the strength of two, and sometimes three."

Good luck in your personal journey.

Answer 2

See.. you made a mistake. You should never have told your family, or displayed polyamorous behaviors in public. It isn't anyone elses business, and by making it such, it opens up people to question your love and intimacy.

Part of the difficulty in being polyamorous is that there is a stigma attached to it in todays society.

My wife and I practice polyamorous relationships, but we do it discretely and in private. Part of the difficulty is feeling out people you find attractive without scaring people off, or giving the wrong impressions.

Meeting other people who are like minded is a very difficult thing to do, unless you have local swingers clubs, or swingers parties. And unfortunatley where we lived, the swingers clubs were usually all men looking to join in. Now that can be fun, but it generally is kind of creepy.

Part of what you do is relax and just notice people you find attractive, and get to know them. Over time, they will notice your relationship/attitude, and then you can ask them to join you. You can't rush that, or you will scare them off, because most people are not used to the idea of polyamorous relationships.

Notice the reaction from many people... they are scared. They do not understand, and believe that sex=love. and that you need to be with one person. The fear of disease is mentioned (mind you you do need to be careful but that is easy), the fear of jealousy is mentioned, and the normal complaints.

Answer 3

EVIL, EVIL,EVIL not because of religious values but because you never developed a scenes of security for family at any level.
Children of Polly's, are full of insecurity's and find it hard to develop personal interest that are theres alone and god help you if child protective services finds out,and I would fink you out in a heart beat, I tell you no lie at that!

I'm going though a situation at home that involve nephew and am taking him to a Child Therapist and the stuff I'm find out good god, there should be a law against people like you!

Therapist Calls it the peter pan,meets Jerry Spring drama where nobody grows up and nobody takes responsibility's for living anything other then marriage with extras!

Grow up already and protect your children!

Answer 4

I do not agree with it. Personally, I think it's gross. There is already enough to deal with just being a couple. With all the std's out there...not to mention the chance of something going very wrong...like maybe your hubby deciding he likes the other chick more...or what if...just what if the other gets pregnant...or you get pregnant with another guys kid...good luck explaining that one...which you have basically invited into your marriage.

Answer 5

I am moderator of the local Poly egroup, but it depends on where you are to network you with other local polys.

Polyamoury and polygamy is a much more traditional arrangement than monoamoury and mongamy. Most cultures, including North American natives, practiced many forms of it. Get comfortable with the terminology, and get used to stating your case clearly.

My husband and I have been poly since we met. We now have a non-legal wife and her child living with us, as well as my daughter. They consider themselves sisters. Canada may soon find a Charter challenge for poly, rather like same sex marriage, since there really is no legal reason why more than two ppl cannot share in the civil contract. It only has basis in the Xian practices, not in most other traditions it stomped on...

"[edit] Forms of polygamy
Polygamy exists in three specific forms, including polygyny (one man having multiple wives), polyandry (one woman having multiple husbands), or group marriage (some combination of polygyny and polyandry). Historically, all three practices have been found, but polygyny is by far the most common.


[edit] Polygyny
Polygyny is described as when a man is either married to or involved in sexual relationship with a number of different females at one time. This is the most common form of polygamy. Polygyny is practiced in a traditional sense in many African cultures and countries even today, including South Africa and most of Southern and Central Africa. [citation needed]


[edit] Polyandry
...Fraternal polyandry was traditionally practiced among nomadic Tibetans including Nepal and parts of China, where it meant that two or more brothers share the same wife, having equal sexual access to her....[1] It is a rare form of marriage that not only exists among poor families, but also within the elite [2]


[edit] Group marriage
Group marriage, or circle marriage, may exist in a number of forms, such as where more than one man and more than one woman form a single family unit, and all members of the marriage share parental responsibility for any children arising from the marriage. Another possible arrangement not thought to exist in reality, although occurring in science fiction (notably in Robert Heinlein's The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress), is the long-lived line marriage, in which deceased or departing spouses in the group are continually replaced by others, so that family property never becomes dispersed through inheritance." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy

Here's the North American magazine:
"The Loving More Mission

to support, explore and enhance the many beautiful forms which loving relationships and families can take.
to provide information for people of all orientations who are interested polyamory and the freedom to explore honest non-monogamy and what relationship means to them.
to affirm that polyamory, loving more than one, can be a health expression of love and intimacy, and that diversity is the basis for a healthy love and intimate relationships.
to respect the right of all people to choose intimate relationship forms which are appropriate for them.
to reach out to those who question and help them explore the possibilities of new paradigms in relating.
to educate people around the world to possibilities beyond traditional paradigms and promote freedom to choose the love-style that they feel aligned with. " http://www.lovemore.com/

You'll find oodles of local links there, including this one:
http://polyamorysociety.org/

There are tens of thousands of ppl in Canada in poly relationships, and once we're Out, more ppl will feel free to explore themselves. We are not swans or wolves. Multiple, happy relationships are how we define our sucess and satisfaction in the world. It's a human rights issue on so many levels, and I make it part of my activism agenda.

Answer 6

Don't worry about what everyone else thinks.. If you enjoy it and it works for you then enjoy..

Answer 7

Danger danger

Answer 8

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/InterracialPolygyny/
just a start for u on ur search for happiness.

Answer 9

fancy new big word for swingers...
every major city has sex clubs


my opinion? i am monogamous