Besides working out, which does help with our intimacy, what kinds of things, (herbs, ect, but no rx meds) could help increase her sexual desire. She is using zoloft which could be contributing to this lack of desire. Or it could be me....who knows, but has anyone been in this position and found something that worked for them?
2007-03-09 03:50:03 · 16 answers · asked by Bumbo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get her off of the zoloft.....
2007-03-09 03:56:53 · answer #1 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok first off I am a young mother of 3 (yes married)A friend of mine had to use an anti depressent.She said it mess w/her sex drive something crazy.I would recomend not going off the meds fast cause can casue horrible side affects(hello Andrea Yates)so I would recomend slowly going off then if still depress take natural herbs--b vit/vitC/melatonin/and best vitomen of all SUNSHINE and and supportive spouce.Take her out on a date and the clean house (well help clean if she is a stay at home mom you could at least help one night maybe do dishes)I know when I get to go out w/my friends and I come home and my hubbie picked up nothing turns me on more.Maybe try a few time back massages and dont expect anything in return.Best of all let herhave a nap when you get home from work.I know I have 3 kids and they are 7/6/3 yrs old and I didnt want much sex till my youngest was about 2 and a half when he slept all night and I slept all night.i am sorry to say either wait it out for a few yrs and go meet "rosie and her 4 sisters "or let your lady get some sleep.I do feel bad a bout the meds cause really there is no help while on those but you could recomend slowly changing to some natural herbs(they REALLY do help)I am sure it is not you (it wasn't my husband)just the meds and although she may not even see it yet lack of sleep will do itAlso my friend while on the meds just had no drive at all and while on those said there was just no feeling at all when she did have sex..Good luck
2007-03-09 05:38:01 · answer #2 · answered by anntanner 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
before i start, i'm not really a nurse!
if your wife is taking zoloft, that could reduce sexual desire. DO NOT mix herbal remedies of any kind with zoloft until you research... some herbs may be unsafe in combination.
sometimes women temporarily lose their sex drive after childbirth.. and i think it's nature taking its course. nature dictates that right now, she is focusing on the new child, and biologically it would put a burden upon her if she got pregnant again... i think a lower sex drive after childbirth is nature's way of giving the mother "time" between pregnancies.... i know, i sound insane.... but i believe this to be true.
i think what she might need is time..... meanwhile, i'm sure it's not YOU and that she still loves you.
another thing you two can do is talk... spend some alone time together if that's possible... spark a little romance! it could put her in the mood?
all the best!!!
( =
2007-03-09 03:58:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too had a hard time after giving birth and was also on Zoloft and I had more interest in sleeping than my husband. Try this, get a babysitter for even a couple of hours take her to dinner, either just the two of you or invite another couple that you know she enjoys being with (sometimes that worked best for me, to have other people around to have adult conversation and not just talk to you - no offense but spouses tend to talk about home and kids) anyways, it helps to relax and usually thats all thats needed. If not, well she will appreciate it and if nothing else will love you for it.
2007-03-09 04:38:12 · answer #4 · answered by danczar1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
having had children myself, I can tell you that after bringing a child into the world, exhaustion for months is par for the course.
when was the last time you took care of your son for HOURS so your wife could take a long hot bath, read a book and get out on her own? How about looking hot and sexy for her while you wash up the dishes and run the vacuum for her. You live in the house too - show her that she is more to you than a sex partner, mother to your son and maid!
even if she breast feeds the baby, you CAN get up at night, bring him to her in bed, and then when Junior is finished eating, you can change him and rock him back to sleep.
Get a sitter and have a nice dinner out WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED and let her see that you LOVE her. In time sex will become part of your intimate time again.
But right now, I get the idea that she is just overwhelmed with the demands of being a mother.
Consider planning a weekly 'date night' where you can rekindle your relationship as a couple.
Plan a time out each week for your wife to just get out and have some "me time".
Above all, remember that for the last few months, her body has gone through all sorts of horrific changes in hormones, shape, size and feeling.
Give her a full body massage without expecting anything in return for yourself.
Gratify HER needs and see where it leads.
2007-03-09 04:14:17 · answer #5 · answered by stonechic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I will never get on anti-depressant here is why: I have a friend who told me she was having depression problems went on zoloft and felt good at first said everything was fine the as she continued she noticed her sexual appetite decreased and she was getting depressed over that. I know people are going to disagree with me but I know about dark depression I had it for lots of years. She is not happy with something about herself and no pill can fix that situation. She has to figure out why she is not happy. If it is post partem depression then have her continue taking zoloft until the baby is over a year and then have her stop.
2007-03-09 05:05:26 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK, she JUST had a baby!!! Remember she is probably extremely busy with that newborn!! Have you tried making sure she is getting enough rest, and lots of help around the house??? Are you helping with the baby as much as you can, diapers, feeding, getting up in the night?? Try doing these things and maybe then she will want some lovin.
2007-03-09 04:09:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i, having all my wits about me (j/k) have never taken Zoloft. BUT i have heard that it is a contributing factor to lack of sex drive. Have her talk to her doctor about putting her on something that is as effective as Zoloft but won't curb the desire. Good luck!
2007-03-09 04:04:27 · answer #8 · answered by ESTamez 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may need some self esteem boosting. The body changes dramatically after giving birth. She may need to know that you still find her attractive. Tell her she is beautiful, get her little gifts spontaneously. And whatever you do don't put any pressure on her. That can have a negative effect and push her in the wrong direction. let her call the shots. let her know that you are there and ready when she is ready.
2007-03-09 03:57:34 · answer #9 · answered by krysmaslily 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I went on zoloft after my 3rd child, our sex life has gotten better and better. Give her time and help her out around the house and with the baby.
2007-03-09 04:37:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Help her around the house with some housework (you can do it, or hire a housekeeper). She may not feel so overwhelmed if she has some help with these things. Plus, if she's not busy cleaning the bathroom, she'll have more time to spend with you!
2007-03-09 04:13:33 · answer #11 · answered by Kirsten 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋