the man that had sex with my wife?

Question

He knew she was married and went after her anyways do you think he is a dirt bag or do you think it was ok for him to persue a relationship with my wife and try to break up my marriage Me and my wife are back together and hes out of the picture but what do you think i should do about him and his actions

Answer 1

your relationship is between you and your wife.....

I never understood why husband attack the other man in these type of things....HELLO...Your wife ruined your relationship. She had a say in this too...Why not be mad at your wife first.

Your not married to the man.

Answer 2

First remember that it takes two. Your wife could have said no and walked away. Both were wrong and hopefully they realize that. So much could have been lost. He's out of the picture and that's great. Leave it like that. The more you pursue anything about the issue, it may provoke them to see and talk to each other again. Trust me, I know. Leave it alone and work on your relationship with your wife, it's the best thing to do. It's going to be hard, and certain things are going to remind you of the situation, but be strong and know your true feelings and remember what you had before and what you can have for the future. You'll do it and things will be great.

Answer 3

It's ironic that I'm coming across this question like this. I am aware that alot of people are going to judge me for my actions, because it's human nature to pass judgement on other people, eventhough there are no saints on this earth; However, I'm in an honest mood and I dont pay attention to rude comments..

Last year, I slept with with a friends husband and I can honestly say that it's the worst thing I have ever done in my life. It made me feel low and dirty and I did everything in my power to apologize and think of every thing that I could possibly do to mend the friendship and even make their relationship better. I know this must sound crazy, but I actually knew what would happen, before I even slept with him. I knew that if I did, and she found out, it would ruin the friendship, but I didn't care at the time because I was selfish and thinking with an envious and vindictive heart. Just because people mess up in life and make foolish decisions sometimes, doesn't mean that they should be ridiculed and labeled as a horrible person for the rest of their lives. Something like this is hard to forgive, but if you don't forgive, the person that you stay mad at, keeps a certain power and control over your mind and ultimately your life.

Nobody said that you had to be friends with him again, but forgive him in your heart, even if you never tell him. You'll be surprised how much it helps. It's easy to say "move on" and "forget about it" but how do you do that? That's like saying "sweep it under the rug". You have to go towards the pain sometimes and communicate to work things out, not just pretend that it never happened, which is what most people tend to do, then actions later on displayed will show that you have not "let it go". Talk about it with her, and even him if it will help you move on. Maybe understanding what was going through their minds, will give you a better understanding of why they did what they did. Forgive them both and if your wife and your friend, ever cared about you at all, they will feel guilty enough, without extra ridicule and will know not to do anything like that again. However, if your wife does anything like this again, leave...no relationship can last without mutual respect.

Answer 4

I hope you two have or are going through counseling? If not consider it, you need to find out why she cheated in the first place.
I would like to also say your a better man than I am, to forgive your wife, my ex did it to me, and well she's my ex enough said.
The fact you can still trust is a sign of a big heart and for that congratulations
As far as the other guy, as with most men your first instinct is to kick his @SS, I know mine was, BUT, #1 he couldn't have done it if she wasn't willing. #2 the only thing beating him down will do is land you in jail, sued for civil rights violations and being put on the national terror watch list, the Peta ppl. MADD, abortion rights, and the NRA will picket in front of your house. So just let it go, unless you found him walking down a dirt road , nah just let it go it's apparent your a better man than that.
And lastly make sure your wife understands that if she EVERRRRR does it again she's OUTTA there.

Hope this helps

Answer 5

Nothing, he is not the one to blame. You probably would have done the same unless the woman was your bestfriends wife.
Most men will go for a woman already in a relationship simply because they don't want to be in a relationship themselves for too long. They use this as a way to get out of it. She was probably the victim in that situation. You should worry more about your marriage than anything else. If you can't get over it, then get a divorce. You should never bring that up again after forgiving her. If you can't forgive her, you need to move on.

Really sorry about that, but it happens to more than 75% of marriages these days wether it's the husband or wife.

Answer 6

Are you sure your wife loves you? She cheated on you. It is not unnatural for a man to go after a woman, no matter her attachment, not that that is an excuse and makes it right, but the big thing here is not the other man, but your cheating wife. "Once a cheater, always a cheater", is a line with alot of truth to it. If she was so willing to hop into bed with another man once what's to stop her doing it again when things are not going well with the two of you, as often happens in marriages from time to time. Forget the man, it's your wife I'd be concerned about.

Answer 7

First off, I'm glad you and your wife are working things out. Second, any guy who goes after a married woman without caring about the consequences is worse than a dirtbag. He has no moral standing and no conscience and ultimately can't be trusted. It's good that he no longer in the picture, but if you feel the need to confront him, then do so. He had no business going after your wife and stepping on your territory. I wish you the best.

Answer 8

Dirt bag of course. If you have already dealt with the repercussions with your wife, I suggest you move on and leave the man alone. I am a firm believer in "you get what's coming to you". Either by God or some other spouse. Good luck and I hope your relationship continues to heal.

Answer 9

This is probably not what you want to hear but its what needs to be said.

People cheat when they are lacking something from the relationship...think about it.

Your question implies you are controlling, agressive in nature and vindictive. Are you taking care of your wifes emotional needs?

You may want to focus your energies into healing your relationship with prof. help as well as working on yourself.

She said yes to another man because somewhere you were saying no to her. If you dont want a cycle then break it now instead of continuing it on. Revenge and hurting others will go no where.

Answer 10

You have every right to be upset however you are blaming the wrong person. He was not the one who said the wedding vows she was. He may have almost broke the relationship up between the two of you but she knew she was married to you. If you want this marriage to work then you two should go to marriage counceling. Yes he is a dirtbag but she is no better either.

Answer 11

Did your wife know she was married...to you??? The answer is yes, your wife knew she was married, but decided to have sex with this guy anyway. The real question is why did your wife have sex with this guy? You know, she could have told him no, but she didn't. Maybe you wife thought he was sexy hot and maybe he was hittin that special spot on her that you can't find or reach. Are you sure she's not gonna go back for more?