My wife sometimes goes out with her friends after work. I told her that I don't mind if she does, but I want her to call me and let me know she's going out. I just want to know so I know that she will be late getting home. She feels that i'm trying to get her to check in with me, but I just want to know that she'll be late so I don't worry about her. Am I being stupid or is this just a common courtesy.
2007-03-09 03:35:49 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No you are absolutely not being stupid. You are married and she should let you know where she is going to be and when she will be home. There is nothing wrong with having a girls night out or anything, I think they are great, but you have a responsiblity at home as well. You should keep your spouse informed. It's common courtesy and responsible and mature.
2007-03-09 03:40:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Been there. It bites the big one. As far as being reasonable and the courtesy thing are concerned, yes, you are correct Sir ! So where do you go from here? Sure, you can get that , "be the man!" advise from your macho friends, but, they don't live there. Can you sit down and a make an "informational sheet? ( You know, how many times in the past 6 wks. Times that she did get home. The "ladies" she went out with. was she drunk? etc. ) I am trying to see if maybe you can live with your situation or is there a pattern that you might consider "abusive" of your "trust". I feel that you are avoiding confronting her to avoid an argument. She already has turned it around into that, "You're checking up on me" thing. So, not knowing how old the both of you are, if any children are involved, do you have cell phones etc., it really is up to you on how to proceed from here, or if you even want to. Personally, checking up on a loved one is subjective. So good luck. Hope that it all works out with love and understanding for you both.
2007-03-09 04:19:25 · answer #2 · answered by make room for daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is common courtesy....But do you do the same for her. Its one thing to want her to let you know whats happening, but you have to do the same. I need to know the same thing. Its great to be out having fun, but its not so great for the spouse at home wondering if you were in an accident and may be dead on the side of the road somewhere...People do think the worst when they are worried and haven't heard from a loved one.
2007-03-09 03:54:14 · answer #3 · answered by Lori F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is common courtesy. If she loves you and cares about you then this wouldn't be a problem. It is always common courtesy to let your spouse know where you're going to be, not to be controlling. But just in case something would happen.
2007-03-09 03:39:42 · answer #4 · answered by Felicia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with that, if anything, she should be thanking you for caring so much about her. But just dont try to babysit her. If she calls and tells you she is going to be late, leave it at that. Tell her "ok, thats fine." and then let it go. Do not call her when she is out and ask when she is going to be home and things like that. For one, its rude, and two, you cannot control her. Its very nice of you to be so caring about her, if those are your intentions. If you are truly wanting her to call you so you dont worry about her, there should be no problem, but if you just want her to call you so you can know where she is at, and what she is doing, thats wrong. Talk with her, maybe she doesnt know what your intentions are. Let her know that you mean well.
2007-03-09 03:42:46 · answer #5 · answered by gibby411892003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you are being stupid at all. You wife should be glad to know that you love her enough to want to know if she is going to be late and to ask her to call what harm is that. It's not like you are paging her or blowing her cell up every 5 minutes. I don't guess you are. She should be glad that you care most men don't care and are insecure when their wives are out for a girl's night out. You should just explain to her that you love her so much that you just worry about her and that it has nothing to do with trying to babysit her every move. She is blessed and don't even know it. God Bless
2007-03-09 03:42:44 · answer #6 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, I think you are being not only courteous to her but generous. At lot of husband wouldn't even go so far as to say okay about a night out. It is NOT too much to ask that your wife give you to courtesy of letting you know when to expect her. Her behavior would make me suspicious, make me wonder if she is trying to hide something. Good luck to you and God Bless.
2007-03-09 03:47:03 · answer #7 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right. Out of common courtesy and respect, she should tell you if she isn't coming straight home. My husband and I do this and it makes life less stressful. I wouldn't dream of NOT telling my husband I'm going somewhere after work. That's just wrong.
2007-03-09 03:41:45 · answer #8 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is definitely not too much to ask. In fact, it is practically the definition of common courtesy. Something else is going on here. You need to talk with her and find out what the underlying issue is. Good luck, muchacho!
2007-03-09 03:40:05 · answer #9 · answered by I See You 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is common courtesy. You are right on track for how it is suppose to work. Your wife needs to call, it takes five seconds, and everyone is happy.
2007-03-09 04:38:56 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋