How can I get my family ( husband and 2 boys) to help me around the house ?

Question

i feel like i am spinning my wheels ,go to work come home and clean ,clean on my day off ,the kids won't help at all (12 and 9) and my husband ,won't pitch in either . actually they create so much more work for me any sugestions ?

Answer 1

Sit down with them and confront them about the problem. Men need to hear things directly. Tell them how frustrating it is for you and how important it is for everyone to pitch in. Come up with a specific plan, like a list of chores to be assigned each week. Create rewards and punishments for completing or not completely the tasks, like allowances, etc.

Answer 2

I have a few!
. Go on strike..get picket signs and sit on the lawn and let the.work go for a while. then negotiate!
.Go visit your Mother for a month!
.Have a designated night like Thursday when all the family must be there. Everyone pitches in and completes all the chores on one night. Have a schedule with rotating chores so someone does not always get stuck with cleaning the toilets! I think this is an excallent idea. A friend of mine does this!
Then everything is nice and cleaned and organized for the weekend.

Answer 3

Put them to the test by daring them they CANNOT handle your jobs. Make them want to prove you wrong, then write a list of every little thing you do, spend the day with them while they're doing it so you can act like them and create messes here and there for them. They'll get it if they spend a whole day being you and you're walking around dropping crumbs and leaving your laundry on the floor. Make it a bet of some kind and see if they will accept the challenge. If they do, they'll start to see how much you do for them. Then maybe they'll pitch in more without you having to ask all the time.

Answer 4

Talk to your husband first. Tell him you need his help and expect it. Don't try subtle hints. We don't take hints. Be specific. The help should come from him and the boys. My wife and I share household chores. Any good man should. Assign the boys simple chores to start with. You'll probably have to train them. Make sure they know how to do it right. They might not like it, but they will appreciate it later. My mother was tougher than my Drill Sergeant on cleaning chores. Because of that I never got in trouble for not having things clean enough in the Army. I knew how to do my own laundry and sew buttons back on my clothes too.

Answer 5

Excuse Me???The kids WON'T help? Who is the parent anyway. Give them specific chores that they are responsible for every day and some every week, like cleaning rooms, clearing dishes, vacuuming floors and if the assigned chores are NOT done then NO video games,NO T.V. NO allowance ...whatever they value...Everyone needs to contribute to a household, especailly when both parents work.As for your husband, it may be too late if you have let him get away without doing his share for years..however, I'm sure there is SOMETHING he values from you that he can't have unless he chips in too. It is not a matter of them HELPING you..... they live there...they take care of it... grow a backbone and insist that everyone contribute.

Answer 6

Well you leave letter´s in the boys rooms , Just write and say what you want done , and when they ask why are you writing us letter´s , just say how you feel. They will get the message & they will do there own thing´s pick up there dirty clothes etc, and your husband should do is share , tell him you will have go and see the doctor as you feel you can´t cope with all this extra work, and are becoming depressed , He will move himself too. But It´s not just you I did the same myself picked up behide everybody, till one day I just had it up to my neck.Now everybody put´s there things in the right place and less work for me I even left my husbands dirty sock lying on the bedroom floor for 2 days, It really hurt me to see them there but I left them . He did´t pick them up the first day nor the second , then I said , those socks why are they on the floor ? he looked at them and said oh yes those are mine, then he picked them up. So don´t pick up for them they have arms and legs your not there slave . Also you are not doing them any favours by doing everything for them , and the more you do the more they expect you to do . Keep to the rules and you´ll have plenty time to relax

Answer 7

Go on strike! Sit them down and tell them nobody likes to be taken advantage of like that. Plan TOGETHER who does what chores everyday (including dad). If they don't want to work at it, then you pick up something to eat and read after work only for yourself. Maybe go to a movie with a girlfriend instead of rushing home to your 3 boys. When they get tired of sandwiches and they run out of clean underwear, they will come panting to your feet!

Answer 8

I would make it as organized and quick as possible. Pick a day, Sunday. Make each of them a list and make one for yourself. Have every chore that you need completed on the list. Blast some music that the kids like and tell everybody that the lists need to be completed in one or two hours. After the list are completed in full----order pizza and a movie and relax as a family.

Answer 9

You have to set up the expectations. And follow through. Yelling and whining wont do anything. Nobody likes house work so they sure aren't going to 'help out' voluntarily. It will take time for you to fix this problem so be prepared. Start small; like everyone is responsible for clearing their own dishes from the table and bringing their dirty laundry to the laundry room. Once those small things become a habit for them, you can expand. And remember, if you set up a consequence for them not doing something - for crying out loud make sure you follow through with it!

Answer 10

Give your sons chores that they have to do such as taking out the trash, vacuuming, and helping wash the dishes after dinner. Set them down and make some rules. As for your husband, I guess you just have to ask nicely and hope for the best. Or, have a hissyfit -- whatever you think beforehand will work.