I made a poem?

Question

Over You?

I say to myself,
"I am over you, I am over us"
But then I see something,
And it reminds me of you....
and our summer together.
I thought you loved me.

Our summer was almost over,
you moved back home
and I stayed here and cried.
You said good-bye and left...
I thought we were in love.

I kept our conversations
because every word you said was precious...
I thought about you ever day,
and the next summer
when you were coming back.
I thought I loved you.

Then you said;
"look at her picture,"
"isn't she pretty"
You said,
"She is the on that I will marry."
I realized that you didn't love me.

On that day I realized that
I loved you, but I couldn't.
You didn't love me,
you found the one...
and it wasn't me
I realized you loved her.

I am over you, over us.
I have finally moved on,
I found someone to hold my heart...
but I will hold part of it too,
because it is a Precious thing
I realized that I could love again.

-squirrelfreak

Answer 1

I really love it! It's very nice. I wish i could hear it with music.

Answer 2

This is poem in love whatsoever, more than it is any poem about love; it is about a love that actually never died even though time and things in time moved on in many ways. The love here survived because it was kept so preciously; and the acts of betrayal, desertion and indifference could not affect it until it was rekindles ever so more strong, wise and assertive in an apparently new form.

May be you think you are in love again, or for the second time, but I think it is always the first time in love, and there is no end to love, love never deserts human heart it just gets out of sight of us mere mortals; the constantly beating of human heart is one simple proof that love is like life. We do never fall in love twice; it is just that sometimes we do not realise we are in love, and have been all the way along. Some times we go to sleep without realising that love slumbers in our bosoms, waiting for someone to come along to wake it up. May be this has happen here as it appear in this beauty poem of resilience, courage and renewal.

Answer 3

Not meaning to quibble but you do not make a poem you write a poem. And I agree that this feels more like a lyric than a poem. Put some music behind it and you might have something. You will definitely get more money and attention as a song writer than a poet. After all poets are often discovered by the masses after the poets death (which isn't very fun for the writer)

a suggestion...

To help you with your poetry read CHAUCER in the original language. Then read (in translation of course) Homer/Virgil/DANTE. Spencer and MILTON (in the original) John Donne, Coleridge and WORDSWORTH, Arnold, Lord Byron, Tennyson, GM HOPKINS, Dickinson, WHITMAN, Eliot, Pound, AUDEN and an anthology of modern poetry - then you will be ready to write some poetry.

Otherwise a very nice beginning so don't stop there...

Answer 4

Okay, as a 'poem' it needs 'work' ... you are 'telling us' not 'showing us' and a good 'poem' makes us 'feel' your emotions through you 'showing us' what you feel through your 'wild, weird language' ... but as a 'statement of growing up' it is an 'excellent poem' ... it describes someone who is 'very young and female' who gets her 'heart broken' over time, but who learns a very important 'thing' about herself ... that she CAN 'love again' but also that she needs to 'hold onto a corner of her 'heart' because to 'give it all away' can be 'wrong' and really 'difficult to recover from.' I'll give you a B- on 'poetry' and an A++ on 'growing up well.' I think 'growing up well' is the most 'important' class, right?

Answer 5

Nice;)

Answer 6

Beautiful!! It really touched me, as I have - in a way - been there done that. Keep writing.....it's the key to your heart!

Answer 7

No, you didn't.

Answer 8

good!