Ok it has been a little over 2 months since my ex & i broke it off. Vday he calls me and every since then we have been secretly seeing each other because he is with the girl he left me for. I have been taking him lunch and he calls me or texts me while he is at work. This man I honestly feel is the love of my life. I have felt that way since the first day I met him. We had problems just like every other relationship. But I moved out because he was talking to this married woman in Oklahoma. I have heard everyone say he wants his cake and to eat it too. But the days that I dont talk to him totally kills me!! It hurts extremely bad!! I asked him on Tuesday when I saw him at lunch why he was with her after he admitted that his feelings for me were coming back because he almost kissed me on Monday. He said because she has no place to go. She has no home. Im just so confused. I want to believe him because before he would tell me that he loved her and wanted to be with her.
2007-03-09 03:20:17 · 13 answers · asked by cheeks4u21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We were together for 5 years. I just miss him sooo much and would do anything for him. But why didnt he tell me this time that he loves her and wants to be with her??? Does he feel sorry for her and what should I do and not drive myself nuts???
2007-03-09 03:21:29 · update #1
You're going to have to be a big girl and pack this one up. You are clearly being used hon. You're better off without him. You are holding on to what you know and are comfortable with. I can understand that. He is NOT the love of your life or he wouldn't have let you out of his life. He left you, too! Come on, honey. You're worth more than that aren't you? I think "yes." Turn and walk away. It will hurt but it won't always hurt. Don't be a doormat anymore. No more LUNCHES for him!! You're being seriously strung along hon.
2007-03-09 03:26:54 · answer #1 · answered by Sleek 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this man really and truely loved you he would want to be with you and only you. It sounds about right from what you described that he wants and cake and eat it too. If you are really brave talk to the woman that he is living with and see if they are really serious and he is just playing both of you. It might be just as much of a shock to her that he is playing both of you. Some men will just never change. Just remember that you are the most important person and your happiness is the only happiness that really counts. If this man is just going to keep hurting you in the long run maybe its best to move on. It may hurt at the time but you will move on and a new man will waltz into your life and fill that empty space that your ex created. Time heals all wounds. Im speaking from experience.
2007-03-09 03:29:11 · answer #2 · answered by Meiko420 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish you could have seen my face as I was reading your question. OMG!!! I really can't believe you are that naive to let this man play you like that!! I am absolutely outraged!!!! Let me ask YOU a question....how much do you love YOURSELF??? From what I am hearing not much at all. If you did you would never allow this. This punk left you for another woman and is now "cheating" on her to see you again, and all you feel is love???? Don't take that "she has no home excuse". Tell him to send her *ss back to Oklahoma to her husband!! And love does not come and go like that ("he admitted his feelings 4 me were coming back") when somebody really loves you they will not have to "wait" for the love they supposedly have for you to come back. If you ask me--I'd say you are head over heels in love with him and he could give a f*ck less about you. I'm not sure what is drawing him back to you right now...maybe he thought he had something better because that woman talked a good game from oklahoma--but when he got the real thing it wasn't what he thought. I can't even begin to tell you why he is not saying the same things (about him loving her)--but baby ....for your own wellbeing I'd have to advise you to suffer that heartache (it gets better) and send him on his coniving little way!!!!! You need a man who will love you and ONLY you ALL the time not just when its good for him. You may just look up one day and realize how much better life is without him.
2007-03-09 03:47:39 · answer #3 · answered by boolissa2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let it go, move on. He says he loves someone else but calls you and you two see each other. He's playing you, and her and she should know about it too! Call her and let her know what the real deal is and both of you should dump him! Men like that deserve to be alone. I'm sorry you love him and that he is such a lousy excuse for a man but really, why would you want him when he's obviously just a player?
I really meant it, call the other girl and tell her what's been going on!
I wish you the best, there's many really great guys out there and you'll find yours, but this loser ain't him!
2007-03-09 03:30:52 · answer #4 · answered by Incognito 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, sounds like he does want his cake with an extra side of ice cream. You left him because he was talking to a married woman. You are not married but he is doing the same to you while his "nongirlfriend" sits at home. I think you would be better off getting over this man and moving on. For him someone else's grass will always be greener, their plate of food will always look better, and all sorts of other analogies. Good luck!
2007-03-09 03:29:46 · answer #5 · answered by ESTamez 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lady, you are in love with love. Wake up and smell the coffee!! This man does not love you at all. If he did, he would not treat you so badly. He left you for another girl. What more does he have to do to make you see that he does not care about you? Do you want him to take her to bed in front of you for you to see that he is using you? He will continue seeing you as long as you accept him on this basis because you have made yourself convenient. You might choose to believe that by the mere fact that he continues to spend time with you it means that he loves you. You are so wrong. He has nothing to lose by having you and the other woman at his beck and call. He has shown you exactly what type of person he is by being involved with another man's wife. Think about that. He would do the same thing to you because he is a disrespectful person by nature. I'm sorry if this all sounds harsh but I think you need a strong dose of reality. Get your self-respect and self-esteem together and move on.
2007-03-09 03:37:42 · answer #6 · answered by bombastic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure you love him sweetie, but does he love you?? If he did he wouldnt be with this other woman no matter if she has somewhere to go or not. The fact of the matter is he is realizing that he lost you and now he can't handle that. Honestly, if you do take him back then you'll probably been in the same boat again, sooner or later. There are plenty of good honest men out there who would love to have a faithful woman, I say go find one!
2007-03-09 03:27:20 · answer #7 · answered by suzyalexisandgabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety leave this boy alone. Trust me. I was in a relationship with a guy for 5 yrs. He was my soulmate or so I thought. I lived with him for 2 yrs. and I got a better job offer in Ga so I asked him to move with me but he decided to stay and look after his mom which I didn't have a problem with cause his mom was sick at the time. I was gone for 1 yr. and when I moved back we got together just like I had never left and started back dating again and everything. One night when I went to his apartment there was a girl there so I asked who was she and he was like her name is ....... and she just go out of jail and she has nowhere to go because her family won't take her in and she has no money or nowhere to live so I'm letting her stay with me for a while. Well, a while turned into a 6 months and during that time we stayed into arguments about her and what was going on between the two of them. He finally told me that they were sleeping together and that he didn't love her but he does care deeply for her. I wasn't surprised but a lesson was learned and I turned to him and said: As much as I love you and as much as it is going to break my heart not to have you in my life its gonna hurt you even worse because I'm a one in a kind woman who loved you for you and all she wants from you is your money. He looked at me and said: you will see we will be together. A yr later they got into a big fight and she destroyed his apartment and he hit her with a bat and she put him in jail while he was in jail she stole everything from him including his boxers. Just let it go sweety cause if he has to sneak around with you then he doesn't really love you like he should be and you don't want to be with someone that you have to sneak and be with. A man who loves a woman should be proud of that love and his woman and shouldn't and wouldn't ask her to secretly be with him. He apparently knows how low your self esteem is and he is just using you. You are worth more than that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-09 03:37:52 · answer #8 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him not to call, text, or attempt to contact you in any way. Do you honestly think that "the love of your life" would treat you this way? You need to concentrate on yourself and realizing that you deserve much better! Good luck.
2007-03-09 08:06:41 · answer #9 · answered by Sophie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just wants both of you, and it's obvious he doesn't want to leave her, especially since you are seeing him knowing he is with her. You need to move on. Get away from him, don't call him, email, nothing. The sooner you are done with this, the sooner you can move on with your life and find your REAL true love.
2007-03-09 03:27:10 · answer #10 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋