My wife recentley got a new job and now she would rather go out after work with her new friends than come home and spend time with me. We get very little time to spend together due to our conflicting work schedules. Should I be worried or am i just being selfish? Please Help.
2007-03-09 03:08:53 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This could be a cause for concern, but then again it could be nothing. Maybe she just wants to get to know her new friends better. I would be hurt if my spouse preferred their friends over me, I mean its ok to go out with your friends but there needs to be a healthy balance of time w/spouse vs. time w/friends. Just talk to her and ask her why she is not spending time with you and tell her that its bothering you and that you love her and want to spend more time with her!
2007-03-09 03:14:21 · answer #1 · answered by suzyalexisandgabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a problem and you'd better nip it in the bud. If you let this continue, she won't understand when you suddenly make it an issue. Speak to her asap, when you are both calm. Ask her if things have not been going as well between the two of you as you thought. In the past, was she a stay-at-home wife? Maybe she was lonely, bored or unhappy previously. Could it be that in the past, you did not make the effort to spend time with her and now you're feeling jealous because she's no longer under your control? Have you been taking her for granted? Have you made your career more important than your marriage? Take a close look at your own behavior and see if you may have contributed to her new attitude.
It sounds as if you both need to reassess your marriage, perhaps make some changes so that you don't drift any further apart. There may be trouble on the horizon if you don't take charge right away. Stop being a spectator to your marriage!!
2007-03-09 03:25:17 · answer #2 · answered by bombastic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and tell her you are hurt that she does not want to spend time with you. If that does not change how she feels. Keep your mouth shut and hire a PI and find out what is really happening. You have to act like everything is just fine and don't let her know you are having her watched. Then you will find out the real story. If it is just and after work get together or if there is more going on. The PI is expensive , but it is worth it so you can have piece of mine. You can also purchase a GP unit that is put on her vehicle that will tell you where she is going and where she has been and how long she stays at one place. If she is going to someone's home. Good Luck and God Bless
2007-03-09 03:31:46 · answer #3 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be worried, and no u are not being selfish at all. It's a new job and she is just caught up in it and trying to fit in that's all. She wants to feel "part of" the group, she probably doesn't even realize what she is doing to u. Sit her down and talk about it. Make sure u don't place blame, or accuse her of not wanting to spend time with u. (this will get her guard up) Just simply say "I miss u so much, and I really want to spend some time with u" This will make her see how u feel and she will realize that she has to have more of a balance.
2007-03-09 03:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by Amber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand with her new job she's trying to make friends. I would actually be alittle concerned about her not wanting to spend the time with you though. My husband and I also work conflicting schedules and only get a couple of hours a day together. I would rather be with my husband and family when I get off work than with anyone else.
2007-03-09 03:14:23 · answer #5 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i would say kinda selfish. But on the other hand yeah i would. It should be okay for her to go out every once in a while but not every day after work. That just doesn't give you and her enough time together. I wouldn't be worried so much just ask her when can yal spend time together.
2007-03-09 03:14:29 · answer #6 · answered by daddy's lil devil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that u should be a little worried cuz if a wife is wanting to go out with her friends rather then stay home and spend time with her honey somethings wrong the love could be going gone how long have you two been married? then again how much time has she spent at your guys house before her new job? maybe she got tired of it
2007-03-09 03:15:41 · answer #7 · answered by princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you trust your wife then you shouldn't be worried. I'd rather go out with my friends after work too than to go home to my husband, but he understands because outside of work I don't have very many friends. Maybe your wife's co-workers are really cool people and they're fun to hang out with. If you're really worried then you should just try sitting down and talking to her about it. I hope this helps...
2007-03-09 03:15:29 · answer #8 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she just really enjoys her new friends and is happy to be able to have some social interaction. If it is just the girls, then maybe mention that you are happy she is enjoying her new job, and could she maybe keep it to once or twice a week as you want some time with her. If it is guys and girls then tell her you would love to meet up with them for a few drinks too to make sure it is all on the up and up.
2007-03-09 03:22:19 · answer #9 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. If your relationship is really important to you both, you can find a way to spend more time together. In the meantime, think of things to make the time you spend together interesting enough that she will prefer to be with you. Just because you marry doesn't mean your relationship can be dull and you have to tolerate it.
2007-03-09 03:19:56 · answer #10 · answered by Alicia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋