why is it so hard for a man to be faithful to his wife?why get married if you still have the NEED to mess arou

Answer 1

For many I think it's not that they NEED to mess around.

It's that they NEED love, affection, and sex.

If they don't/can't get it from their wife then they look elsewhere, if their moral backbone isn't strong enough.

I make no excuses for anyone who cheats. But people are definitely responsible to a great extent for the happiness of their spouse. A lot of married people think that it's just too bad if their husband/wife wants some love/affection/sex - I don't wanna.

Women are more often denied love and affection. Men are more often denied sex. The lack of these things drive people (inexcusably) to cheat, sometimes.

Answer 2

Its not. But for some....a boost to a sagging ego. Its sex with someone new. There's that slight thrill of excitment that you're doing wrong and know it. i'd say those are a few of the reasons.
Naturally none of these are an excuse for infidelity. People marry because they want the security and the comfort that normally goes with a spouse. Someone to come home to. Someone to share things with and a lot of us enjoy that feeling of another person lying next to us in bed.
Its easy to fall "in lust' with someone else. One has to look long and hard at that though and have the brains and self control to see that screwing around with someone who you really probably wouldn't want as a life partner anyway will destroy everything you not only worked for all of these years but something more important. Trust. There are so many people here who ask "I had an affair...how can I regain my husband's/wife's trust?".
You can't. The damage is done. They may eventually have some faith placed back in you but damage like that is irrepairable and there always...ALWAYS is a shred of doubt until the day you/they die. Assuming this question relates directly to you I'd suggest you muckle onto hubby and ask him what gives. Listen to his answers closely. If he tries to say this occurred because you aren't receptive when he wants sex (and I say this because that seems to be a stock excuse more often than not) then maybe he should start communicating with you better. I can say this...if I'm in "one of those moods" or my wife is we make no bones about letting one another know.
Being married for any length of time should allow for open communications about any subject. Especially when it effects one or the both of you.

Answer 3

There is a lot of good men out there that can be very faithful to there wives, I know a few, but yes there is a lot of men out there than have the opionion, even if I am married I don't have to just sleep with one women. I think that if a man has that problem, he should never get married and stay single. Maybe its just a game for them, you know how when your underage to buy cig, but you still try and get them, its doing something against the rules, and most men do it for excitement, I guess, we can never read their minds on how things work. I know a guy that said when he was with a girl for a long relationship, he wanted variety because it just gets old, sleeping with the same girl. Darn Players! Its just a guy thing, but remember there are women that do the same thing!

Answer 4

Cheating is not about a need to mess around. Cheating is about a lack of respect and a feeling of control. Cheaters do not respect their partners. Cheaters feel like they have total control over their partners and believe they can do anything they want.

Not all men or all women are cheaters. Cheaters are men and women who learned as children that they do not have to respect their partners. Usually they learn this by observing their parents or other close relatives.

Look for a man who is not macho and you will find a man who is not a cheater. Part of the machismo is the feeling that a man controls a woman. These men may at first seem like they will provide great security, but there is nothing secure about loving a cheater.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 5

IMO, most often it's because of one or more of the following:

1. They're idiots that don't appreciate what they have at home in terms of a family and wife.

2. They are so emotionally immature that they feel they need the attention of other women to still feel like they "got it", that they're still a stud.

3. They are (for whatever reason) not getting something emotionally that they need from home so they feel the need to look outside the home and marriage. IMO, this is often sheer laziness. These men are too lazy to try to work it at with the one they married and swore that they'd put before all others.

4. They're crazy and subconciously, want to get caught and out of the marriage but they don't have the balls to come right out and say it.

That's my stab at playing pop psychologist.

Answer 6

If a man can't be faithful; that's his problem and should not get married. What's the point? If she finds out, the marriage ceremony could land in the court room all in one day. That's too much drama and stupidity for anyone!

Answer 7

Men or Women that cheat on thier spouse do it because they are immature and think that kind of thing is exciting. I will never understand why a person will cheat after they went to the alter and said there vows to one another. That is a promise that they should keep because they did it in front of God as well.

Answer 8

Hey, this goes both ways! Women can be cheaters too! There are some very good men out there who don't cheat! I know, I have one. And I agree, why even get married if you can't keep your panties on??

"If your husband/wife is happy at home they won't want to roam"

Words to live by =)

Answer 9

I am male, married for 22 years, have never messed around and don't see what circumstance could make me want to. I too am puzzled and often embarrassed by my "brothers" who can't live up to the commitments they made of their own free will

Answer 10

Some men lack character, morals and integrity. What drives them to get married and still cheat is a mystery. Maybe they want their cake and eat it too.