What can I do, Im desperate and confused....?

Question

My ex and I were together for five years, we splitted up December of 2005, but regardless of that we were still in touch and of course I loved her. Her excuse was, she just wanted to be alone, and time for her to go to school and work. So I understood her situation, and we have been like this for a year and a couple of months. We talk, we go out, we have gone to trips together, she knows how much I love her, she knows I've been as patient as I can, cause I just want to be with her. But after a year, she still tells me the same thing, that she wants no commitment right now. But then I get confused, we go out and she treats me as if I was her boyfriend, she gets jealous, etc. Then on normal days, when we dont see each other, she acts like she doesnt care, she is selfish, and has lot of pride. I've been trying to do my best, specially to be patient, but now Im really confused and desperate. I love her so much but I dont know what to do now...

Answer 1

well i would not give her anymore time.get on with life.if she loved you she would be with you.love should be between two people,not one.tell her how you feel if he says the same thing then tell her you are moveing on and see what she says

Answer 2

You know what, I've been in the same situation as you are... I understand how you feel. It is just that, in my story, I am the girl who's getting desperate for a commitment because my boyfriend seems not ready for me, or the most part, he is emotionally unavailable.

I know how much you love your girlfriend, because if you don't, you wouldn't even consent to that kind of relationship. It is hard to be in a situation wherein you wanted to give more than what you are actually showing, because at the back your mind... something is holding you back, for you know, it isn't right.

In my case, yes... for a while, i stayed in that relationship, for more than a year. I was thinking that I'd rather be with him, even if things are getting complicated, than completely nothing. I was thinking too that it was really hard to throw away four years of our relationship. But then, at some point... you would just feel that you deserve something more. I learned that, if something or someone is not meant for you... don't push it.

Whenever you are with the person, you are happy... but let me ask, is it for real? Because sometimes... that happiness fades if you are not with the person -- like, bliss to sudden melancholy.

I don't know, all we could are advices. But it is still up to you to do whatever will make you happy. In my case, I gave up... and as much as it hurts me, I'm holding on to my decision. There will be moments that you feel like swallowing your pride and experience the whirlwind of romance all over again. But thinking about what it once was, I yearn for something more... a commitment and exclusiveness. So I made myself clear, I can't be there because still... he isn't ready for me. Not yet.

I hope, soon... you'll have your peace of mind back. It feels good not to depend your happiness to other people. Good luck.

Answer 3

Your g/f seems to be in control in this relationship when it should be on equal footing. If I were in this situation I would make myself a little less available. She is so certain of your love for her and is taking unfair advantage of that. I think it's time for her to give you the re-assurance you need. Maybe she's bored with the same old routines you've established and you could ask her about that or come up with yor own ideas. If that doesn't make a difference I'd back off . Try seeing her less; find some physical activity to keep your mind occupied. Call her less; let her do the callling, but don't sit around and wait. Get on with your life. Maybe she has some issues she's dealing with and needs the space; give it to her. If you're meant to be together she has to find that out on her own . You deserve to feel loved and needed in return. I wish you well.

Answer 4

Unfortunately you didn't tell your age. How old you were when you started being her boyfriend? Maybe that was at a too young age.f.i. when she was 16. This girl wants to be free and to butterfly around and have more experience.
But on the other hand she still makes use of your love for her, when she has a need for it. In spite of how much you love her, you have to draw the line to her behaviour. If she wants to be your girlfriend, o.k., if she doesn't want that anymore, then she has no right to tell you what to do or to be jealous in what way ever. It must be "Yes"or "No" and if it's no for her, she has to accept the consequences.
Her "No" will be very hard for you, but please try no longer to be her slave. You're a very nice guy and worth something better.

Answer 5

She needs time to go to school and work - that should tell you something. She can't do those things and serve your needs too (which are time-consuming). You love her so much so in her mind, you'll always be around. School's a good thing, work's a good thing. Why would she drop either of those two things when you need them so much in the modern world? She has a need to be successful. Being with you, she doesn't feel successful. You want something different from a relationship so find that in another person and let his girl go.

Answer 6

I think it's time to cut the strings. She wants her cake and eat it too. It seems the
only time she wants a relationship is when it suits her. Maybe she has some
one else. You don't need to be dragged back and forth like that. There's a big
world out there with a special girl just for you. All this other one is doing is keeping you dangling from her string. You're worth more than that. Cut her loose
and find someone new. Good luck--you deserve better.

Answer 7

i'm sorry this has grew to become out this sort. once you provide your physique in a actual way, a female has her emotional makeup that grow to be in touch. there's a competent reason. What you have can delivery existence into this international. it would in user-friendly terms acquire to somebody who realizes the fee. Your ex-boyfriend is enjoying on your thoughts. He does not understand how he's inflicting you discomfort, because of the fact he particularly enjoyed having family with you. He "receives back" long adequate to get you to grant it up every time. you're effectual and you have the entire existence previous to you. You %. the guy. the subsequent time he includes you, it particularly is going to be considering the fact which you call him. do no longer. he's enjoying you and that different female, enjoying off of the two one among you so he can get intercourse. Please remind your self of the targets you have on your existence. It does not appear as if it, yet each and each guy you date, you will locate larger high quality each and every time. You deserve somebody who needs to appreciate you and take you out. tell him you do no longer decide to hearken to him point out yet another female back. tell him not extra intercourse till he makes a dedication which consists of a great piece of jewelery. the international climate exchange, pollution, loss of habitat and species are genuine issues all around you. There are homeless, deserted babies, ravenous human beings, persons strung out on drugs, dropping hundreds of residences an afternoon. There are significant issues you'll be putting your theory and means into. intercourse will continually be there. There are wonderful adult males who won't go away you guessing or at a loss for words. unload him for sturdy. bear in concepts your experience in the superb easy achievable, yet evaluate it may be much less annoying to cope with once you're a splash older and have some effective reviews below your belt.

Answer 8

Okies I get the mixed signals thing that she's sending you...you should really try to talk with her and let her know that she confuses you with her mixed signals...maybe she just doesn't want a commitment right now...maybe all she wants is to just have someone there to cuddle with when she needs him to be...however you see like you're ready to commit and as long as she isn't...you're basically on two different roads right now...it's hard to let go but you're gonna have to learn to let go of her and move on...hey who knows maybe in time you'll find your way back to each other then again maybe not...but only time can tell...But if you remain in a situation like this you're only setting yourself up to get hurt and used over and over again.

Answer 9

It's time to move on and try to put this pain behind you. It sound a lot like she wants to keep you on a string ,so if thing don't work out for her she can coming running back to you that's not fair you are carrying all the pain. go on with your life. that might be the jolt she needs to make a commitment and if not , you have not lost any thing that wasn't already gone.

Answer 10

You have to tell her she is sending you mixed messages. If you don't like it you are going to have to take a stand and tell her she has to make a choice of one way or another. In a way it sounds like she is stringing you along and that is not fair to you. You have some very deep feelings for this gal and if she does not appreciate it then you need to move on to someone who will.

Good luck!

Answer 11

Sounds to me like she is just towing you along. Time for you to cut your losses and move on no matter how much it hurts.

You sound like an awesome patient man, who deserves much better than her. You deserve someone who is as patient has yourself, to dote and care for you as you will care for someone else.

You need to definitely tell her your done with her antics! She has hurt you enough, it is going to take you awhile to get over the trauma she has done to you. It is gonna take a helluva woman to lick your wounds.

You deserve better than her, trust be better will come, you will be happy again!!