I made a mistake, should I tell my husband before he hears it from anyone else?

Question

I was speaking to another man on the internet and before I knew it I was really hooked. I thought about him all the time and couldn't wait for him to call me. He lives about an hour from my house and one day he called and said that he was in town and would really like to stop by and say hi (my husband was out of town). I gave him directions and he came by. Well after about ten minutes I got up to get a glass of water and he came up behind me and started kissing my neck... I freaked out and kicked him out of my house. Emotionally I am attached to this guy, but I felt awful about how this would affect my husband. I have a big mouth so I told a few people. My husband wont be back for another two weeks and I am wondering if I should tell him before someone else does and how I should break it to him gently. By the way, I am not talking to this other person anymore.

Answer 1

Without a doubt, tell him.

Answer 2

I would tell my husband about this other man myself.
I can understand you being lonely,and wanting to talk to someone. I do think if I am interested in other men I would file for a divorce. This is not really what someone married should do behind the other persons back. I would like to know if your husband is doing this also when he is out of town. Maybe you both should move on! I would not have a job that requires to be out of town for two weeks anyway while being married. There are alot of jobs out there other than traveling. I would tell him in a public place not at home. Such as having coffee at the park. This maybe a domestic problem,and someone may become hurt. Have a counselor tell him may be the safest way to let him know.

Answer 3

Thank God, you have stopped the adulterous communication with this other guy. You have to understand that you have injured your marriage and your husband terribly. The fact of the matter seems to be that you are more concerned with whether you should tell your husband about your wandering heart and affection. You appear to have greater problems than your question suggests. I seriously think you are not satisfied in your marriage and you started looking for love elsewhere. Perhaps when you talk with your husband you may discover how open and honest he has been and what secrets he has. You are not sorry about this at all, you are just confused as to how to have it all without giving up anything or having your adulterous fling exposed. It seems that if you tell your husband your problem still won't goo away. What problem you ask? The fact that you made the decision to share your love, attention, and sexual desires with another man. Good luck.....

Answer 4

Well you did the right thing in the end. Even though you encouraged the situation which you shouldn't have but you have not actually commited adultery as you come to your senses and stopped what could of been the worst mistake you could of made in your marriage.
As you did not go any further and got this man out of your house then you have at least done the right thing which you can at least find some solice. But never contact this man ever again and learn from this bad experience.
This man was just after sex and he knew you were married and that did not bother him at all. He would of used you to get what he wanted. Do NOT ever repeat this again.
As for your husband, if you really think hw will have a good chance of finding out then I would pick a careful time to tell him yourself.
It was a foolish thing to do in the first place but you did actually stop at the point before the no return.
Please do not contact this strange man again, he is dangerous to you and would of put you through pain for the rest of your life. If he was prepared to do that to just so he could have sex then he was certainly no friend of yours.

Answer 5

Telling anyone was a BIG mistake.
Your friends will probably gab. He WILL find out. So now you need to tell him.

The version your friends tell will probably include all kinds of embellishment, so you had better tell the TRUTH.

Apologize profusely. Beg forgiveness. Although I would call this cheating on it's own, in the end you did the right thing. I hope he can see that.

NEVER DO THIS AGAIN. Come on - you must have known something like this was going to happen. If I were him, I'd be expecting some action - invited over to a strange woman's house with whom he is having an emotional affair while her hubby is out of town? He'd be an idiot to NOT think he was going to get some.

Straighten up and be a better person.

Answer 6

Well I can say I have been there too.
But the only thing different from me and you is I haven't seen my face.
But to the point at hand, Yes you should tell your husband because if you can go arounmd and tell everyone else why can't you reveal this dark secret to your husband?
I can't say whio is wrong at this moment but I know you feel dirty and I know iot's eating you up.
The sooner you reveal this the faster you can get it off your chest and maybe just maybe your husband will understand and forgive you.
But the longer you hold it inside the more it going to hurt and in the long run.
You just got to be careful of who you talk to and try and do this again unless you know the consquences of the actions that might happen.
Good Luck

Answer 7

Husband out of town, strange man over alone with you, and nothing happened except a kiss on the neck.
How can you be so stupid to do that, trust that is gone, you better worry about how you are going to convince your husband that nothing happened. Put your self in his shoes would you believe it, I think not. Maybe a good time to start looking at a lawyer.
Most people here will probably agree you have cooked your goose.

Answer 8

Tell your husband the truth. Tell him exactly what you told me. He may be a little upset about it but you will find a way to make up for it.You can,t lie to him cause a few people already know and it is dishonest.This whole thing happened for a reason and maybe that reason is that your husband is always out of towm so you probably needed man company or something like that.

Answer 9

I would tell him before he hears it from others. If he hears it from someone else the story could get twisted and when he confronts you he won't know what to believe. You need to be honest and upfront with him. Let him know exactly what you were up to and make sure you emphasize the part that you kicked the guy out of the house. He will honor you for not going any farther with that.

Answer 10

You know what will probably freak him out more is that you gave this dude DIRECTIONS TO YOUR HOUSE. What on gods green earth were you thinking???

You dabbled a little with him and you didn't OFFICIALLY cross the line, and since you told so many people you might as well tell him.

But remember its all in the presentation! Try to keep it light, don't be all guilty-faced and sad eyed. Just directly tell him what happened and agree to therapy if he wants it.

And for petes sake don't invite internet strangers to your HOUSE!!

Answer 11

Well, you messed up. I would talk to your husband while he was away and tell him what happened ALL of it. Thre truth is what you need to give him. Be prepared for some hard questions and some let down from him.
Also be wary from now on who you talk too. Really though I would sit down and ask yourself why you found this so appealing. Were you getting something from this that you are not with your husband. Or was it purely selfish? Maybe you were curious. Whatever it is you need to get it worked out, and tell your hubby waht happened.