I REALLY need your help here!!! please? =]?

Question

Okay, so I have a friend who's 15. She's depressed and has been struggling with a lot of things. I have been really trying to help her by talking about her problems and relating to my depression that I struggled with for the longest time. (And still do occasionally). Well, in any case, she constantly tells me that if it weren't for me, she would commit suicide. That in itself scares me. She's been my best friend for 5 years.

Well, just the other day when she was in a really deep period of anger and depression, she began to drink! I would never expect that she would do this. Well, today she's coming over to my house to do a sort of weekly discussion (of life and depression and stuff)...and I don't know what to say, what to do. I feel so awkward around her now, and it's just so hard for me to realize that my best friend is doing this to herself.

Answer 1

If you love her and truly are her best friend treat her :

to a good councellor as a surprise and it would actually work better than you yourself
Take her out for ice cream
Take her to the park and make her laugh
Take her for a comedy movie and make her smile
Dont allow her to drink but take her out to a club if she wants to have fun
15 years old depression CAN BE SOLVED but you have to act NOW. She is young and naive. She needs to have someone older to give her advice. Someone experienced. You must teach her about the bible too. Let her learn by going to church.
You can help her but you need to guide her in the right way. Once a person is beyond redemption then there is nothing more you can do except save yourself. Before it comes to that try doing your best to save her now.

Best of luck

Answer 2

Okay, I know that there are lots of people who've been answering things like "be there for her", but I'm going through the exact same thing right now. Ugh. I know how hard it is to be there for someone when they're depressed and you don't know them anymore. I think that the best thing to do would be to unload on someone else before she commits suicide, because most people that talk about death or suicide end up doing it! Search on google "friend is depressed" and it comes up with some good sites. Hope this helps...

Answer 3

OMG Yeah that has happen to me. I had this friend that was going through depression, depress with her family, boyfriend, school, and so much more. So I would do the same thing as you talk to her and comfort her. But then sha started to do drugs (coke mainly) and one day I was at a party with her and this kids when they all started snorting coke. I became scare and concern for her when I saw her snorting for a third time and a huge line.She was 16 I believe I was 17 at the time I grabbed her and took her home. I had enough, The next day I call her parents and we met at a restaurant and told them everything that she told me about commiting suicide and the drugs she had started doing. Anyways her parents told her and she knew it was me who told them. She hated me especially since they send her to a rehab and to a therapy. After that she didn't speak to me. That was in 2003-2004 last year 2006 she visited me and thank me. Telling me I was throughly a best friend. She said if I hadn't told her parents maybe she wouldn't be alive today. So what you need to do is tell an adult that is going to help you. Because you are young and you don't need a burden or feel guilty if she would to kill herself. She needs to get help and even though she might hate you and not be your friend anymore, one day she will thank you.

Answer 4

You are her best friend and closest confidante. You have been honestly talking to each other about your lives and depression so this is something you have to add to those talks. Tell her that the drinking really concerns you. Drinking is a depressant and is going to make her feel worse and go deeper into depression in the long run. If you feel like she is in danger you need to speak to a family member or someone you trust who can help you with her. You are a good friend.

Answer 5

You need to continue to be her best friend and tell her the Truth, Drinking will only add more problems to her Life. Depression is a terrible thing that so many people do suffer with. There are medications out there NOW to help us with this problem. I use to be terribly depressed, but never suicidal. I suffered with bad headaches, did not feel like doing anything, except crying. I am on Celexa Now and it has helped tremendiously. Tell your friend to go see a Doctor, they can help her. Do it before her problems get worse.

Answer 6

That is a very rough situation to be in. First let me just say that the only person that one is able to have any control over is the person themselves. You are responsible for you, and you alone. Telling someone that they are only not committing suicide because of another is manipulation and a form of trying to control another. Sounds like your friend wants a misery-mate. You can't solve her problems and sounds like she is being what I call an emotional vampire. She has to learn the she is "RESPONSE"able. She has the power to make her own choices about how she thinks and feels. If she wants to continue dwelling in self-misery, then she will, and the only good she will do you is to pull you down with her. Now she is turning to drinking as a means to numb herself, but where is that going to put you? She is under age, so this is illegal, and can even cause you trouble if she starts to do this around you. You really can't help her, you can only be responsible for yourself. I have to strongly advise you to step back from this situation and really evaluate the danger she is putting you in...you can either continue putting yourself at risk, or you can talk to her parents if she continues to drink. I know that sounds like you would be hurting your friendship, but it m ight just save her life and in the long run would be being a better friend to her than to sit back and let her self-destruct. You sometimes have to take a pro-active role, and do something that may make her mad, but may save her life. If you wait, what if it becomes to late. Her threats, or the mention of suicide puts this is a very serious light. You are not equipped to deal with such strong feelings. She may just be exaggerating, but what if she were to get drunk, and her judgements and feelings are lowered to the degree that she does something to hurt herself or others. This is a very serious situation and even though it is hard to do, I think that you need to put this in the hands of someone better able to deal with its potential dangers...sometimes really being a friend means that we have to look out for their best interest, even if it makes them mad...if she is really your friend, she will understand...and even if she doesn't, she will be better off getting the help she needs before this turns into a really bad situation for herself and you as well.

Answer 7

You have to continue being her friend and now you must tell her that drugs and alcohol will only add stress and problems to her life and that substances such as those will kill her slowly.She must find a hobby,and try to find something that interest her.There are so many things a young girl can do,such as dancing,art.museums.theatre,excersise,walks in the park,walks in the local mall.She must find something to help her deal with the insecurities that this age group always find themselves in.Whatever happens you must tell her that she is special in your eyes and that you willALWAYS be there for her.The last thing she needs is for you to abandon her.In time hopefully she will learn how to deal with difficult situations in life.Good luck to both.

Answer 8

well the only thing you can do is be there for her because even now it seems that she's at the prime phase of depression. i know that when i needed support or comfort.. it was my friends that helped me out of it but you know it'll take some time. because everyboby goes through this sort of phase, at least everyone i know has at one point in time or another. and all that can be done is stick by her side until she feels better about herself and the world around her.

Answer 9

If your friend is that depressed and you are her best friend you should be the one to help her and take to a counselor or psychologist for professional help.If you are truly her best friend you need to be there for here and help her through this difficult time.

Answer 10

I'm not a psychiatrist but I don't think you can or should handle this by yourself. You really need to tell someone - her parent or teacher or doctor. Someone needs to know - your friend sounds like she's in trouble.