Can someone please recommend a good relationship counselling dvd?

Question

My parents have been married for 30 years but have been having constant arguments over the last 6 years and it is getting progressively worse. Almost any little thing can spark off an argument. There has been no infidelity in the relationship but a huge lack in communication between the both of them. My mother is suffering from depression as she feels that she is 'unloved' by my father although he says he loves her. She has been acting very jealous of late and often without any basis. She has also recently retired from her job as a general practitioner. She now often says that we don't need her and she feels so empty. Myself and my other sibling are currently overseas studying. She will bring up problems in the past and mistakes that my father has done one of which was not being there with her during her labour as he was busy working. She took an overdose about a year ago but thankfully it wasn't fatal. I hope someone can recommend a good dvd as we have tried to solve the problem.

Answer 1

That's what's going on and what you want is a DVD?!? This is beyond anything a DVD can solve. Your mother needs to see a psychiatrist. The symptoms of her depression include feelings of jealousy, resentment, emptiness, and uselessness, and she has even attempted suicide. Furthermore, the frequent arguments could be caused by irritability, another symptom. It is possible that her symptoms are being caused by, or exacerbated by menopause. A psychiatrist will perform an examination and recommend treatment based on the results. She may need hormone medications, and/or antidepressants, and/or therapy, NONE of which can be provided by a DVD.

Now, I get that you are feeling helpless, and maybe even overwhelmed by your mother telling you all this. So, lob it back into her court: "Mom, you are a doctor -- you know you should see a doctor! They say that doctors are some of the people least likely to seek treatment when they need it, and you are turning into a classic case. Please, see a doctor immediately, because there's nothing I can do to help you from here. You're miserable and you need help."

Answer 2

You might try some books, tapes or DVDs from Family Life. http://www.familylife.com/1-800-358-6329/topic.asp?p=1 They are very Christ centered resources for married couples. They also run marriage retreats that are great to work on communication and other issues.

But really it sounds as if your mother has more issues than marriage problems. I would say that the arguments may be how she's expressing the other problems. She's going through some major life changes right now. Depending on her age, she could be going through menopause which has a whole range of symptoms that would cause the way she's acting depending on how severe it is. You mentioned depression and that can be one symptom of menopause but could also be caused by the retirement and an empty nest. Especially if she's not doing anything else with her time.

I'd seriously counsel her to seek help from her doctor in addition to anything you might pick up for relationships.

Answer 3

She needs to be on here! Fastest way to forget your problems is to get on here for an hour. Really, she needs some friends! Pen pals, chat buddies, anybody. But, if DVD's are what you want try Dr. James Dobsens stuff. He's a bit religious but brilliant! I think he even has a website that you can pick and choose his stuff.