I can't deal with this anymore. We are planning our wedding (2.June) and instead thinking about that, my fiance keeps annoying me with his NEED of money. I'm employed and he's not, and keeps asking money from me, it is never enough for him. I plan on spending money on a trip and he argues how I spend and I won't give him money. He really annoys me. He doesn't won't to askhis mother for money (who takes two sallaries and lives with us). I think he wants to squezze me. What should I do?How can I explain him that ? Just don't tell me to leave him.
2007-03-09 01:27:32 · 20 answers · asked by bilezlatko 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No job is permanent where I live. He worked, actuallu he also was in Slovenia to work, but now he cannot get a job.
It does not mean that my job is permanent and will last forever. Nothing works in our country.
2007-03-09 01:40:33 · update #1
P.P.S. He does not pay the bills. Actually his mother pays the bills.
2007-03-09 01:44:31 · update #2
NB! Only 20% of the population in our country are employed. You really don't know how difficult is to get a job. It is really awefull. He is waiting for reply from the hospital where he candidated for a job.
2007-03-09 01:49:03 · update #3
No, don't leave him, but try to communicate with hiim. Ask him a day, a time to sit and talk seriously about this.
You are doing so much, and may be, who knows, his mother may be asking you to be drop dead - does she like you? - i don't want to make stories, since i don't know your real life. But you have to find a way. May be he's feeling insecure the fact that you are more 'powerful' for him, and as a man he is not feeling very confident.
find a way, may be he's so stressed, he is not sure whats going on here, and little things are annoying you.
2007-03-09 01:32:07 · answer #1 · answered by Spark S 5 · 1⤊ 5⤋
IF you did not want to be told to leave him, why did ypu post this question?
First, have a PRE-NUP drawn up, to protect YOURSELF and YOUR finances. Believe me, you do not want to be supporting this weasel for the rest of your liffe because you supported this lifestyle of his.
Tell him that you are NOT going to get married (I don't care how many deposits you have put down, cancel it) until he has a job and shows that he is capable of keeping it. Put all wedding plans on hold.
STOP giving him money. There is NO reason WHY he should be sponging off of you anyway. Since you did not mention a handicap, I am assuming that there is nothing wrong with him that prevents him from working.
Go on your trip and spend whatever the hell you wish. It is YOUR money, not his.
The next time he wants money from you. go to his mother and tell her that her son needs money.
DO NOT put his name on ANY of your banking accounts. Once you do, it is HIS money as well.
I really feel that the two of you should not get married and that you should take an apartment or whatever by yourself for awhile. Money is the main cause of breakups and divorces, and the two of you are on a bad start.
Do not have children with this man in the meantime. How he acts now is a very good indication that he would not willingly support a child should something happen between you.
I know that this is not what you wanted to hear, but you should really re-think your situation here.
Good Luck.
2007-03-09 01:43:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you say you dont people to tell you to leave him, but that may be your only choice.
is there a reason why he wont work? do you really want to get married to someone in a few months that doesnt have a job? i know i wouldnt. your going into a marriage where you are not equal and to make a marriage work, you need to be both on the same page so to speak.
just explain to him that the money is your money, and you can spend it how you want. tell him that you are the one with the job, and if he feels your earnings are not enough, then he needs to start working, that way youll both be contributing to your household. its definitly not fair or right for him to complain, when hes clearly not bringing any income in. you shouldnt have to give him money, when hello, he has no job!
i personally wouldnt put up with my husband not working. id tell him get a job before the wedding, or there is no wedding. why should you be the only one providing anything? if hes in NEED of money, and unless hes disabled, then there is no reason why he cant find employment.
2007-03-09 01:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by Awesome Rockin Mom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Re read what you wrote! Cancel the wedding, this will be a big mistake for you, yes your in love with the "idea" of a wedding and not the "idea" of marriage, just throw a party for you and your friends and family, say its the almost made a mistake party. He asks for your money now, what do you think will happen later, him being aggressive about it and nagging you is an indication of things to come, the red flags are up-will you pay attention?
2007-03-09 01:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by draken 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he has no job then it seems he has no choice but to ask you for money. Why doesn't he get a job? If he's unable to work, then you should make sure he has money. If he just is choosing not to work, then I'd question your reasons for marrying him. I'm not judging...I supported a guy for 4 years, but he rarely asked for anything. He chose not to work and played housewife instead. I brought in the money, and made sure he had everything he needed. But he understood, that if he wanted disposable income at his command, then he better start making some money.
2007-03-09 01:36:09 · answer #5 · answered by the beet 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you first got with this man was he employed?
If not then you knew what you were getting into before you got together. Why does his mother live with you two? this situation is a little more difficult. you have to weight out what is important to you and then possibly do the pros and cons. This guy doesn't seem like he is very responsible so it will be hard to make him be responsible, good luck girl
2007-03-09 01:34:10 · answer #6 · answered by lilred25smc 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My question to you is why are you marrying a man who doesn't have a job? Do you want to be the one that is always working? Don't think he is going to change after you say I do.
I won't tell you to leave him but I will tell you marrying him is going to be the biggest mistake you ever make.
Good luck!
2007-03-09 01:31:03 · answer #7 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe it is time to re-think those wedding plans. Like leaving him out of them.
If this is any representation of how he is going to be when you are married (and I will give you 100-1 it is), you will have nothing but problems.
2007-03-09 01:31:20 · answer #8 · answered by Steve H 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If he needs to talk on the subject of the babies, tell him to call at a first rate time of day no longer previous due at evening. and because he's no longer determining to purchase the babies anymore I advise you get a legal professional & sue for baby help, He has a accountability to his babies, whether he's with somebody new & having a baby along with her or no longer, That has no longer something to do with the babies he already has. permit the legal professional do each and all of the speaking for you, you donot could have touch with him in case you do no longer desire to. sturdy success
2016-09-30 10:37:26 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey...dear.... why getting married with an unemployed loser that lives with mommy and is milking you out for money???
Don;t you think that you deserve better that this?
Next time he asks for money, just tell him:
GET A JOB!
Good luck (youare going to need it)
2007-03-09 01:39:53 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋