I pay my boyfriends bills. We have been together for two years. Does he love me?

Question

When he and I got together, he had just come out of the hospital and suffered a divorce which left him pretty much penniless. So I have helped him. I love him and want to marry him, but he says he is not ready to get married. Will this relationship last? Is it love?

Answer 1

in paying his bills, u let him off the hook and take care of his needs because u expect that theres going to be a future with this man, but does he feel the same way about u, or is it because u help him financially? personally i would never pay someones bills, when u do u don't really know if its u they love or your money.

Answer 2

I'm not sure that love (and whether it is or isn't) is really the point here. You're together, and he seems perfectly happy with the way things are and does not intend to change them. The question you should be asking yourself is are YOU happy with this arrangement? My guess (from the fact that you're asking this question) is no. Don't most women want an equal relationship where both parties contribute a fair share of responsibilities? Does he work at all? Do you live together and he stays home while you work and bring home the bacon? Sounds like a great arrangement for him, why would he change it? If you get married he'd more likely feel that he should be more responsible and share the responsibilities of bills/household. This way you're not married and have no real claim on how he spends his time/money.

There is no changing him. You must decide if this is how you want your life to go: supporting a man who does not want to marry you or letting go and finding a man who wants to SHARE his life (and all responsibilities) with you. I don't believe that a man who can allow his girlfriend to pay all his bills can respect himself and I don't think he can respect you either.

Whether the relationship will last is ALL UP TO YOU. Don't put the power in his hands while you continue to support him and wonder and worry whether it's love, whether it will last because you're letting him decide. YOU DECIDE.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Clue 1: Has he ever told you he loves you?
Clue 2: He also told you he's not ready to get married.
Ask him if he sees the both of you being married in the near future. Watch his reaction to see if he's sincere or lying if he replies. Then decide. If he says he's still not ready in the near future, means he's not ready period. Move on. For if he does love you, it should not seem strange to want to marry you in the near future. A bad divorce is just that - in the past & can't be used as an excuse all the time. A man truly in love should be able to move on and want to marry you. And for everything you've done for him, well, he should realise by now you really love him.

Answer 4

NOPE!!!!!
You know the circumstances better than us, but if youv'e paid his bills for 2 yrs. and he's not setting in a wheel chair in a coma, he's playin YOU.
And to marry someone who cares so little about you as to not even take care of his own bills, well he's not much of a man is the best, most polite way to put it.
As a man he should be the one that steps up, it's ok to help each other out. but D@MN 2 yrs.
"It's one thing to give someone a hand up, it's another to give someone a hand out"
It's ok to help as long as their trying but if their just letting you do it all, don't be pissed when after your married your still carring the load yourself, because you've started something only you will have to end because he won't.
If he was nice to you in the beginning, you expect him to always be that way. Right?
I cook,clean,laundry,grocery shop,pay the bills, have a full time job as an investigator, and ocassionally have to get out superman cape, be a dad, husband and grand pa. I did those things when we got married, and you know something, my wife still expects them to be done, but in a loving way and, yes she and I share these chores.
I'm sure you love him and I'm not telling you to have his stuff waiting for him at the door.
BUT, what I am telling you is you need to set him down and have a short conversation, shape up or ship out, explain to him you want a partner, a protector, a man.
And tell him I said a man don't live off his woman for yrs. unless there are issues I don't know about.

Hope this helps

Answer 5

well yes it will last and he will get ready. he is in depression and that will pass just remember to support him and kinda push him to get on with his life and he will get back on his feet and want to marry you. I went through it with my husband and we have a great relationship now. remember it would be better to wait anyway, until he is ready. then his whole heart and soul will be yours. good luck and he is marrying material right. he was married b4 and why did it break up. make sure he is not a cheater(does not sound like it but you never know) cause what happened then might happen to you if it was his fault. divorce and stuff is real hard on some men and that is how you know if they are good. I wish i could talk to you person to person or email or messenger or something.

Answer 6

The relationship will last as long as you continue to pay his bills. He says he's not ready to get married, so ask him to move out. It's time for him to stand on his own two feet. He may love you but isn't ready for a serious commitment yet. There are plenty of men out there who are ready!!!!!

Answer 7

Been together 2 years, you pay all his bills and he isn't ready? Ha!...I can guess why. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for nothing?
Of course thats a saying and not saying you're bovine in nature...just that I suspect you madam, are being used. The relationship will last. As long as you keep paying the bills.

Answer 8

I think he has a broken spirit and have went through a lot (to be fair to him). But I also think he is just being a coward that would rather just dwell on his own 'frustrations' and 'depression' that he just throws his hands up in the air and gave up! He is too dependent on you and I think now it has already became a habit of his to take you for granted. In my opinion, any man who has some pride left in him would not let you foot his bills for so long. Two years is a long time, it's really time for him to get back on his feet and take up the responsibilities of being a man and take care of you. Give him an ultimatum, tell him things have to change, you cant pay his bills anymore because that's his responsibility to get his own life straighten out. You also have to ask yourself, are you encouraging him as in do you like to be in this position of 'power' that he is dependent on you? I think you are emotionally dependent on him too, so please work things out or leave. This can't carry on because you are going to get really bitter and it's bad for him too cos he will turn into a total loser! Good luck!

Answer 9

He should be trying to stand on his own two feet. I would give him an ultimatum. Either get a job in 30 days and start paying your own bills or hit the bricks. If he loves you he'll get busy, otherwise he's using you to pay his bills. If he's recently divorced he won't be ready for marriage for quite some time.

Answer 10

It may last but you are going to have to give it time; This is a grown man who needs to pay his own way! What in the hell is wrong with you? You are setting yourself up to be his caretaker not his wife he needs to show a little responsibility or you will ruin him and he will let you. Tell him if he doesn't start working on himself and getting his act together he's not going to help himself. You're either a good hearted person or stupid.