He is one of our pastors.The note was saying how much I encourage him and how I am a good example and a good mother. This person knows my husband is neglectful of me. Also, his wife has never seemed to like me much. He always notices me when I walk in, and at times is very attentive. At other times he pointedly ignores me, especially when his wife is around. I am very attracted to him, but have always tried to hide it, since it is so wrong.
2007-03-09 00:59:13 · 25 answers · asked by LaMariposa 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, it is wrong. Tell him that while you appreciated his note, it made you uncomfortable and that you don't want any more of them. You are treading on dangerous ground on this one. Don't fall into it. This pastor may mean nothing by this, but trust your instincts - stay away.
On the other note, ask your husband to enter couples therapy with you. Work on your home, don't find the comfort you lack there outside your marriage (there's no substitute). If he is reluctant to go, tell him how you are feeling. Tell him that you need him to fill your emotional needs. Tell him you are coming to him, because he is the only one that is supposed to fill that need. Convince him to work on your marriage. This other man is not the place to look. You cannot go to him as a pastor, because of your feelings. If you need a minister, go to the old, ugly one on staff. You are vulnerable, protect yourself and your marriage.
2007-03-09 01:13:20 · answer #1 · answered by Dino 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
His note is inappropriate...period. It only makes it more insulting that he passed it to you at church in the disguise of a compliment. That rat!! Tell him if he ever sends you any other such note, you will have it published in next Sunday's bulletin! Better yet, tell him you will save it, and let him read it aloud to your husband. I know a wonderful man who lost his family behind a beautiful single woman who did more than pass a note. She played on his kindness and his marriage was a little shakey and he fell for her, hook, line, and sinker. She dropped him like a hot potato after his left his wife and broke his daughters' hearts. He will likely never marry again. Change churches if necessary, but stay away from this man. He's only human, pastor or priest, and should be ashamed of himself. The Lord needs to do a work in his heart; you need to work on your own husband.
2007-03-09 01:09:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God, a man of the chuch starting the beginning of an affair at church. He should be ashamed of himself. Now, wake up & realise that nothing good will come out of this. Pay more attention to your husband & find ways to rev up your marriage. Surprise your husband by doing something nice for him. And tell your husband you want more attention from him.Go for counselling if need be. But don't ever start an affair or give hints to that pastor you're hot for him or like him that way. Realise this, he's a stinker, a hypocrite (he ignores you when wifey's around & pays special attention when she's not), sneaky, wrecks the word of God & desecrates God's church by his very actions. Now, you wouldn't want to become like him would you? It's your loneliness that he intends to take advantage of to satisfy his lust. And it's your loneliness making you nuts & insane for liking a creep like that. Be careful. Go after hubby so he pays more attention to you. Think of the consequences to your marriage too.
2007-03-09 01:18:10 · answer #3 · answered by Bugsy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I'm going to say that I don't think he means anything sexual or flirty about it. Others will disagree, but hear me out.
Yes he slipped you a note. (odd but not wrong per se) The note was one of affirmation that you are a good person. Did the note say anything sexy or adulterous? I'm guessing not. He knows you have a crappy marriage, and I think he wrote the note as polite but innocent way to remind you that you are a good person. That he is glad that even in a bad marriage you still hold to what is important; faith in God, health and well being of your children, and the care of all people.
I think you are reading further into it, because you don't feel loved in your marriage. You are craving love, and you are seeing things that aren't there, never were there, and never will be there.
2007-03-09 01:16:59 · answer #4 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thinking he wants to have a affair with you. Showing you all this attention when no one is looking...then ignoring you when people are around. He seems to know your situation well and may be trying to take advantage of it. To me a pastor in your church is someone you should be able to count on and trust..not someone who will take advantage of your unhappy situation. You should either ignore him, or offer to show his wife the note if he continues to pester you. You have enough to deal with your husband..do you really need another man problem??
2007-03-09 01:04:44 · answer #5 · answered by ste.phunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like this man Fancy's you and would if you agree have an affair. you must consider how you feel about this man also the fact you are unhappy in your mirage does not give you the right to destroy the other man life or he yours as there are other people to consider.if you say he ignores you in front of his wife do you know the lady in question ? she may feel the same about her man as you do yours. perhaps you have a lot in coman. i would seriously think twice about being a friend or anything else to this man . as you will lose such a lot if you get found out.
2007-03-09 01:08:21 · answer #6 · answered by fushia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be that he knows your situation and is just trying to encourage you - BUT more likely he is attracted to you - you'd be VERY smart to stay as far away from him as possible - I'd even consider changing churches. Just because he's a pastor doesn't mean he's not a man who struggles like any other man does.
2007-03-09 01:04:04 · answer #7 · answered by Zabes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This would be cheating and its not being a christian.Dont go there nothing but heartache for all involved.Work on your marriage.He is supposed to be a pastor this is not a good example . This is wrong.If you are tempted by this and it gets too much for you,consider going to another church.Stay away from this.Rember your wedding vows.You both are married.
2007-03-09 01:09:44 · answer #8 · answered by canteloupesweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore him and save that note for documentation purposes........ anything he write you save it..........and when he does these things ignore him but you must put him in his place remind him off his position and your standards.......... let him no that you feel disrespected........you do not have to be aggressive but you must be assertive............ be very sharp with this brother but remain a lady...........Do not allow him to play with you b/c if he do this to you think about how many other women he has done this to or is doing this to ........You can be the one to bring this craziness to an end
2007-03-09 01:13:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he might be your pastor, but he is a cheating scumbag and deceitful...
he's in the wrong profession.
avoid him... an affair might ruin your life.
meanwhile if you're disappointed with your marriage and husband, you might consider some ways to take care of YOU and find ways to improve your life... an affair definitely won't.
2007-03-09 01:31:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋