How can I save my marriage from my husbands evil ex-wife?

Question

My husband's ex wife is an evil plotting slug. She is on her third marriage in a span of 5 years. My husband being the first.They have one child together. His ex has been trashing him saying he is deadbeat. He has paid his child support every month, and has always been a parent to their daughter. His ex is always sending us nasty letters and having anonymous girls call our home and claim they are sleeping with my husband. We know it is her because of where the phone numbers register to. We now have a six month old son together and that has seemed to really anger her. We sent his daughter a birth announcement and we received it back a couple of weeks later, torn to shreds in an envelope.She makes up lies and is always trying to hurt us. She is always needing more money she used to say was for their daughters tuition. We later found out the tuition had not been paid in several months. My husband seems to be afraid to do anything about her behavior. Should I leave?

Answer 1

If you really truly love him you wouldn't be able to leave. I've been dealing with this kind of stuff too and guess what?? It's made my husband and I closer! Her plan to get him back and convince him I'm a bad person isn't working! He pays his support, spends time with his kid/s, who cares what she thinks or says. Ignore her! I know....lol.....easy to say not so easy to do right? Well, trust me when I say this because for too long I let her jabs and outright ugliness get to me but in the past few weeks since our last 'incident' my husband asked me to do myself a favor and quit reading her blog and other things she posts because he felt it was stressing me out. I quit and have never felt better! You gotta ignore the crazy, evil people is what he tells me so I now do! Don't leave your husband because of this moron......love him more! He really needs to take a stand tho. My husband was actually afraid of his wife thru their marriage and continued to be after until one day he just snapped and said ' what the hell am I allowing her to do to me?' Since then he can stand up to her. Talk to your husband about this. Also, maybe he just doesn't give a crap if she bad mouths him.......my husband doesn't.

I know what you're going through but do not allow this to ruin your marriage......ignore the crazy, evil morons! Love your husband, love your son and your stepdaughter!!!! Don't give up!!

Take Care,
Tori

To Authur above - since I've been thru something with my husbands ex and have been to see his lawyer, talked to the police and a friend who is a paralegal, some of the things you say she can charge her with are wrong.....sorry. I was told the most that can be done is police report(no charges), protective order(but doesn't apply to the kids only the ex) and that's about it. Even if things are sent thru the mail, unless they are threatening(death, etc.). Not sure about the phone calls, we haven't been thru that! We live in TX. Not sure if the laws are different everywhere. And with the taking her to court, it only stands up if the other party has NEVER done anything back to that person - 2 wrongs don't make a court case! Trust me, I've been slammed and have all the blog enteries and emails plus voice mails for the past 3.5 yrs but the lawyer says just hold on to them for later use. Can't say what use publicly but they will come in handy later =)

Answer 2

This woman sounds like a nut & what type of people do you think are listening to her? Other nuts perhaps. I can understand why your husband is afraid. You don't know what she is going to do next. I would distance myself from her. Don't mail her anything about your life, she is not your friend or family. Change you home #. Get a pre paid cell phone and give her that number, tell her this number is only for her & his child Advise her she is the only one that has it. Therefore if anyone other then her calls you are going back to court to request a no contact and she will get her money through the court. I am sure the other calls will then stop. I would not leave my husband because of her. Also she is looking to break up your marriage. Good Luck and stay strong.

Answer 3

Do not leave him. That is no reason to do that.

You two need to go to your local authorities and put a stop from her. That is called harassing and is illegal. And if she is not using the child support money for the kid, she can even get to jail, and the kid will automatically be transferred to your husband.

I would hire a lawyer to get everything solved, from getting her to jail, to bringing his kid into your home. That kid is not responsible for what is happening, and if things are as you said, that woman is not the right person to take care of a child.

The kid’s future is up to your husband, you can talk to him and give advice, and hopefully you will be more than happy to “adopt” his kid. But is up to him to decide what to do. Now the ex-wife, is also your decision as she is harassing you. Just collect some proof, like record the phone calls, the phone number with the caller ID, and collect all those letters. Then hire a lawyer and put a restraining order on her, and sue her too, and request for her to be put in jail.

Good luck.

Answer 4

While it will be a source of tension between you and your husband, understand that it has nothing to do with him, but the crazy ex. She is apparently a very unhappy person and wants everyone else to share in her misery. Leaving will not solve the problem. Allow his daughter to share in the delight of having a normal family in your home and being the proud big sister. If you feel that the daughter is in danger, then by all means go to court to fight for custody. Then she can pay child support and when she doesn't, feel no remorse to send her to jail. Maybe that will make her become a more responsible person and she may learn to appreciate what she has.

Answer 5

if you love him...stick it out..though it will be tough and could get worse...remember that you 2 are a team and have to provide a united front concerning the ex. As for her trash talking, I went through the same thing with my husbands ex, the only thing you can do , and this worked for me, is keep your mouth shut. Your step-daughter, as she gets older will make up her own mind about you and her dad. If you stoop to her mothers level then you are no better than her. Just ride out the storm and it will get better. Child support has to be paid or you'll both wind up in trouble with this. What her mother does with the money is up to her, unfortunatey she can get her nails done with it, if shse feels the need. As for the calls, I'd call your local cop shop and tell them you are being harrassed. Change your phone number and get caller I.d. Use a answering machine to screen your calls, and only pick up if you know it is her, and if it isn't, you now have a recording to use if it is needed.
My step children were 5 and 6 when my husband and I got together. They have always lived with us.They are now 16 and 18. They love their mother and I. She trashed me when they were younger, but the children grow up and make up their own minds. It is stress full at times, but I wouldn't change what we've been through. They are mature well rounded young men who know they are loved by 3 people. We never talked bad about their mother, we didn't want them to feel they had to pick sides, that is not fair. Just hang in there...it does get better

Answer 6

I believe you can get a no contact order against her , check with local law inforcement and they can stear you in the right direction.. She couldn't bother you then. You can exchange the kids in a safe place like the sheriffs office or something..I would start keeping any c alals from her on caller id and keep all letters aas proof.. There could be slander and defimation of charactor there...I am in kinds the same place , but it is my wifes ex husband and no children involved..He broke her protection order several times and has been in jail 2 times.

Good luck anda don't let this go on..

Answer 7

One must fight fire with fire. Call her mother, call her father. Tell them she's HIV positive. Then get to work on your hubby. Make this guys fantasy come to life. Give him something he can't live without. Set some new land speed records if you know what I mean. Beat her time. Wicked is a waste of time if it's not done with alure. She maybe bad, but she isn't attractive, just another screaming *itch, with a blown love life. Tell her you feel pity for her. She's just a postcard from nowhere. Spend some money at the Electric Boutique. Get ready. He isn't competent in this, your going to have to carry the majority of the load. Make it count. Leave and you'll regret it. You have the upper hand, and you have him.

Answer 8

You shouldn't leave if you love your hubby. As for the ex, all exes are evil!!!! Instead of givnig her more money for the "tuition", have her send your hubby an invoice and have him pay taht kind of thing directly to the school. It's hard for her to accept that he has a new family and is happy and that probably drves her to insanity. if you love your husband, stay, but take the ex with a grain of salt.

Answer 9

No way. You can charge her with stalking, harassment, slander, defamation of character and probably some other things. You can also sue her for these very things. Notify the phone company of what shes doing. Hopefully you keeping a written document of every contact you have with her and anything else pertinent to this case as you will need evidence in court or for the police. You can also petition the court for a remodification hearing for child custody and try to have her declared unfit due to mental instability and go for custody yourselfs. Like I said youll need hard evidence of everything and definitely dont use hearsay as you cant prove it and the judges hate it. Also bring any non-family witnesses you have. If you have the evidence, I dont see any reason for you two not being able to gain custody, or stopping her little games. Good luck

Answer 10

What a scary situation. If you can, consider moving into a new home with your husband and child. He will have to keep sending child support, but maybe get a PO box number so she doesn't know his exact residence or home phone number. I would limit any conversations with her and avoid her as much as possible. She sounds like bad news in a big way.