BBW a question for 'Big' women...?

Question

I was jut wondering how people who are clinically obese celebrate and enourage their size?
Alot of the BBW websites show women who are proud to be obese and I can't help thinking this is just as damaging as th pro-annorexia sites people campaign to close down.
Understand that when I use the term obese I don't mean women who are average (E.g size 16)
I mean women who are over size 20, whose weight actually affects their health.
Now I agree that a woman shouldn't have to lose weight to make her man happy or to fit in, but going to the opposite extreme seem crazy.
There's a balance of respect, while I don't think I have to starve mysef into a size 0, I recognise the importance of being healthy, I'm not about to let myself get excessivley overweight.
Any obese person who says they are healthy must be kidding themselves and while we slate skinny celebrities no one seems to have the same opinion of the women who are proud to be obese, this has to be just as bad.
What do you think?

I personaly don't mean to offend anyone with this, I am genuinely curious.
Don't these women respect themselves enough to think 'I'm not going to be super skinny and not eat, but I AM going to make sure my body is healthy'

Answer 1

I'm a woman who has been fat most of my adult life. You posed a interesting and fairly nonjudgmental question and have gotten so good answers.

I wonder if you are confusing pride in being who I am [a fat woman] with pride in being fat.

Most of us have multiple reasons for having the bodies we have. Genetics, income level, medical conditions [both physical and mental] that may affect weight regulation, prescribed drugs that may affect weight regulation, and yes eating and exercise that affect weight regulation.

I don’t make excuses for being fat. I am fat, I live with it every day. Could I lose weight? Perhaps if I chose to starve myself and exercise obsessively, or mutilate my body with gastric bypass. The truth is I choose not to do so.

I can live quite healthy and happy in my fat body. My blood levels [cholesterol, sugar, pressure] are all in the healthy range, I exercise every day, I limit fat and refined sugar, eat my veggies and drink my water. My biggest single caloric vice is a couple of cocktails a day, if I gave them up I’d probably drop another 40 lbs in a year or so. But I can live with that, even if I did drop another 40 lbs I’d still be fat.

I don’t hate myself, as a matter of fact I rather like myself. I think I’m witty, articulate, intelligent, caring, and sexy. Most of the people who encounter me seem to agree with that assessment. Being fat is only part of who I am, and if you will forgive the pun, it isn't the biggest part of who I am.

I think a lot of people are more hung up on the number displayed when a person steps on a scale than they are about what kind of person is doing the steping on that scale.

People are not all the same, some of us are meant to be bigger than others. I come from a family that was big. I had a more than mild undiagnosed abusive relationship with my body at age 14. For months at a time I would survive on under 1000 k per day coupled with 2-5 hours of exercise a day.

Most of us can't live life that way for long. And yo yo dieting as mentioned by Find your bliss means that a lot of obese people are obese because they have dieted many times. Each diet resulting in a bump up in weight.

Feederism/pro annorexia are flip sides of the same coin. Both are fetishes the ideal of a woman that is at the extreme of what is possible. That is about body control nothing more or less. But the people who practice this kind of thing is pretty small on both sides of the spectrum, thankfully.

The unhealthy extremes are what seem to get the most horrified responses, the poor souls who exist on water and less that 500 k a day who dies because their diet is forcing their body to cannibalize itself to exist and the poor souls who are so overweight that moving is almost impossible for them. Both are equally unhealthy.

There is a happy medium of eating the best you can, getting a reasonable amount of exercise and learning to be happy and healthy at what ever size one feels comfortable.

The quest shouldn't be for a low weight it should be for high level of health. Eating well, exercising, working, socializing, chasing our muse, all these things affect our quality of life, but focusing only on one or two to the exclusion of all others in not prudent.

And making moral judgments about others based on superficial things like size, age, race, gender, etc does us all a disservice.

Answer 2

I am one of those "obese" woman and I agree w/ you completely. Although I would love to say I'm healthy and happy I would just be kidding myself. I have a wonderful husband and family but I am not naive enough to believe that this is any way to live. I think If I were to "embrace" or celebrate" my weight would be just an excuse for me not to have to work at loosing.Although I do have a medical reason for rapid weight gain there is no reason other than just plan laziness to not lose it. And the fact that I have gotten so big that some physical activity is painful. Thank you for putting your question in a way that was not insulting. You made a good point and I hope that people will take it as it was intended.

Answer 3

I am BBW. I am proud of MYSELF and my accomplishments and that has nothing to with the way I look.

Most people are under the conseption that overwt people are big due to over eating and that's usually NOT the case. Most of us have a medical condition that inhibits us from loosing the wt no matter how hard we try and how little we eat. In my case I have insulin resistant PCOS. I take 2 forms of medication to help trigger my insulin to do it's job and to slow the absorbtion of food down to give the insulin a chance. I also have hypothyrodism that as you well know decreases the metabolism.

Maintain a particular weight is far more healthy (even if it's being over weight) than the yo yo dieting (gaining and loosing) due to it putting more stress on your heart and vital organs and that is sceintifically proven.

While I was not offended by your question, nor would I ever be if a person asked me why I'm heavy. You did give me a chance to defend people that have medical problems and I appreciate that. We were not all ment to be a size 0, if we were it would be a very boring world. I do RESPECT myself and the way I look, I eat healthy and excersie regularly.

The woman who you see in the magazines are making a statement just like the thin models and you shouldn't pass judgement on them for that. They are telling the 1/2 of the poplulation who is not thin, that they are not the only ones and there is a fashion for them.

Thanks again for asking such a "sensitive" question and giving those of us a chance to explain.

Answer 4

Please no one take offense to this but I mean in AU sizes, size 16 is quite large and size AU10-12 or US 6-8 is average. In USA size 16 is the same as AU size 20, so that actually is obese.

I'm an average size, AU 12, and although I'm not a stick I have just always tried to be healthy because it is very important, I agree with you that it cannot be healthy for a woman to be obese, it must be such a strain on their hearts, I personally have not met anyone who is proud to be overweight and obese, probably the same as how women and girls who are annorexic and bulemic are ashamed of themselves also.

I think that you have raised a great issue and I agree that it is detrimental to have obese women and men stating that they are healthy and happy and content with their weight

Answer 5

I have a check up every year and I am healthy. All my blood draws come back with great results. I have tried to diet. It doesn't work for me. The little that I do lose, comes back with friends. YoYo dieting can have an adverse effect just as being too thin or too heavy. Not to mention the emotional issues of failing everytime you can't loose the weight. I have made life style changes, 2% milk, whole grains, even whole wheat pasta, and olive oil. We eat chicken breast about 4 times a week, fish once a week and pasta and or beef the other nights. We always have vegetables and only one starch(corn, potato, bread) I actually eat smaller portion sizes than my thin husband. I am active since I have 2 small children I chase after everyday. Would I like to be a size 16? I wouldn't mind it, but I am not going to make myself miserable to get to that size nor will I live that way to keep it.

Answer 6

Well im a big bbw woman. Im not big due to just eating lots of food and thats it. Personally ive got an underactive thyroid gland, and Pco's. Just like another woman with pco syndrome i myself am on metformin as well as another medicine.
You did pose a good statement about being big. However, as a big person- i do get stigmatised by thin people who have this bizzare notion that all i need to do is eat salads and i will be thin. WRONG!

For some people, they maybe suffering from depression- due to many reasons, but as a person who is a surviver of sexual abuse, depression and over eating sometimes go hand in hand.

Yes there are bbw sites, and good ! i use them myself, its easy for thinner women to find men etc, and sometimes its harder for a bigger woman ( without medical problems).
Yes im proud of who i am - being obese or not. I shouldnt hide the fact that im fat from anyone. Yes in an ideal world id like to be a size 20. Theres more to me than being fat. Sadly thats only what some people see- the package and not the goods inside. But thats there issues and not mine.

Feeders are totally a different subject all together. These men and women, encourage a big person to become even bigger. These people are dangerous. I would avoid these people like the plague. I dont paticualry want to get any bigger thanks!.

Answer 7

I've spent a lot of time researching the 'fat admirer' and 'feederism' groups, and have come to the conclusion that unless you are a part of it, you cannot really understand it.

Yes, these women celebrate and enjoy their size, as do their admirers, but it is always the woman's choice - this is not something she is force in to, or bullied in to.

Basically - it is a fetish. The women enjoy being big, and the men enjoy the big women (there are many BHM - big handsome men and their admirers, but less so). You cannot really make the comparison to pro-anorexia sites as this is a choice, not an illness. The women are aware of the health risks and make informed choices. Yes - we may not understand the choices they make, but they make them with their eyes open.

There is a big difference between obese women who don't wish to be and those who choose to gain weight. In the women who choose weight gain, they do respect themselves - they want that life and they want to gain weight. Most people in to the 'feederism' scene would gain much more weight if there were no health risks.

Its all a question of weighing everything up and deciding what is important to you.

To me, the risks of bungee jumping far outweigh the benefit, so I don't go bungee jumping.

To these women, the benefits they gain from being their size outweigh the health risks.

Answer 8

I've always been a big girl, but never classified as obese. I've never been happy with the way that I look. I don't eat a lot, and I tried to starve myself thin as a teen. My best guess is that I destroyed my metabolism doing so. I personally would never celebrate my weight. I have joined a women's gym and attend it 3 times a week. I'm also trying to eat better. It's a slow weight-loss process, but I feel better just knowing I'm trying to make myself healthy.

I applaud the women who can be happy with themselves when they are obese, but I see myself as a failure untill I get to a healthy weight.

Answer 9

I agree with you - I am a size 18 and hate myself for letting myself get to this size and am now trying to lose it. I notice that Im not as fit as I used to be. I think people who say they are happy with their size when they are obese are kidding themselves. Either that or they enjoy food more than life.

Answer 10

i understand what your saying but,they have done a campaign about obesity the food labelling etc..but these days they want perfect,and nobody is perfect,your either too skinny or too fat,cant win.