What about the comparison between test driving a car before you buy it and jumping into marriage without a "road test"?
2007-03-09 00:43:06 · 21 answers · asked by truthbetold 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage is a leap of faith. If all you are looking for is compatibility get a roommate. If you marry someone it means you love them. That should overcome most day to day problems and if it doesn't it probably wasn't love.
2007-03-09 00:47:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing saves you from a bad marriage. Lots of theory. bottom line is always painful. Who wants to admit they made a major error in doing something they put so much into. attempts at forcasting the future by living with someone always misfire. Living with someone is more adventure than the wholly serious instiution of marrage. Living in Lust is always more lite hearted. Taking out a 30 year mortgage is anything but lite. Marrage induces attitudes that were hidden ,to come forward. Friendly , even tempered responses become a thing of the past. The married women are inducted into the Secret Council Of Woman. Men are clueless to this club.Men think that being married is what a guy should do, if he's in love with a lady. Women want to get married to join the council. The Secret Council is who makes the rules. Women who are not in the council are usually very popular with men, and sometimes are refered to as *luts. But even if you marry the *hore of Rome, she will be inducted on your wedding day. They get a complimentary -I am almost a Republican- card. but the council doesn't take sides with male power problems, the women make the rules. Living with a women is just buying you a little time, your still doomed. What should you do?.
Rent. Get a lease. Incorporate. Get ironclad prenups. If you don't want kids, get a tubal for her, a vasectomy for you. One of you must be sterile. Live alone is always an option, with a 3 day limit on how long a woman can stay with you. Don't let them do laundry or make your bed. Don't let them organize your kitchen or bathroom. A guest bathroom is always nice. Getting married is not what you think, it's a lot different, and if it goes bad, it's real bad. If it's good, it'll just be OK. Goodluck.
2007-03-09 09:17:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's kind of offensive to most people if you say that you are taking them for a test drive so I would advice that you keep that one to yourself, hahahaha! But, that's a good point. you should live with the person before marriage. You can't be really familiar with someone if after you hang out they can go home and take off the "costume" that they had on when they were with you. By living together you get to see how the person lives when they aren't just trying to impress you and you can come to grips with the negative things about your partner instead of just getting married with no idea about those things. It's definitly adviced. Probably for no less than a year.
2007-03-09 08:49:24 · answer #3 · answered by Vince R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That comparison doesn't work because people are completely different from an automobile. And no, I've known people who lived together and got married later on and thought they married the "wrong" person. If you're not willing to work through hard times in a marriage you will never find the "right" person.
2007-03-09 08:49:11 · answer #4 · answered by chocobocharmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For all you that think getting a divorce is a easy way of getting out are sadly mistaken.
With that said, It would be easier to observe your future spouse by seeing how they live on their own. Not with their parents or other roommates. Do their habits conform to yours example neat or messy? Sometimes you find out these things that in the beginning tolerable but wear on you over time. Love is something that you have to work on as a team effort if your not a team it will sadly fail.
As for the "taking out a car on a test drive" Does anyone have a bad experience in a short ride in any car? Problems happen over time. Anyone can put up a front for a short time too,
2007-03-09 09:04:57 · answer #5 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I were talking about this very comparison just the other day. We came to the conclusion that in today's world there are just NO guarantees. Neither behavior will guarantee a happy, healthy and/or long marriage. Once the rings are on the fingers, everything else is moot. Marriage is a whole different game than being single. It is a different mindset, and some don't adjust well to it.
2007-03-09 08:51:23 · answer #6 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living together before you get married does not keep you from marrying the wrong person. Sometimes, all it does is keep you from making the decision whether or not its the right person for you. "we'll see how this works out" is avoiding deciding to make the commitment to work/talk your way through your differences.
To me, marraige is like going to war. We all see the war as a bad thing, but is the marraige a noble cause that's worth fighting for? Living together to see if you want to get married is like jumping into the war to see if you like the cause.
It also seems to me as if people nowadays are really caught up in the here and now. Did we get what we wanted today? I look at marraige as something that 30 years from now I'd like to look back on and say, "wow" look at the life we've made it through!" You could change cars 50 times trying to decide if its the "right one", but that's just keeping you from getting to the destination of 50 years of married life.....
2007-03-09 10:39:43 · answer #7 · answered by Lady M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is commitment, it cannot be compared to car driving. According to my own view, two people, with different characters and behaviors, to be living together, is not easy. and i can assure you that no one is perfect on this planet. Even you , are not perfect in everything. Therefore living with your partner before marriage, will not make your partner perfect , and whoever you will stay with, will not be perfect and you will keep on trying different ones for infinity.
Here is my advice. Look for the girl you love, and make sure that you share most interests, not all of them of course. And then get married, but be sure that you will have to accept some challenges, and to forgive when needed.
This is the key to a successful marriage
Hope this is helpful
2007-03-09 09:08:00 · answer #8 · answered by Roger Aime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, no, depends on who you talk to. Some studies suggest that couples who live together before marriage are just as likely to divorce as any other couple. Other studies suggest that they are more likely to divorce. Of course, neither side takes into consideration why couples decided to move in together or why they decided to get married and what they put into the marriage. So, the answer? No one really knows, but plenty of people want you to believe one way or the other. Just today I read a ridiculous article on Yahoo from some religious writer about living together before marriage.
2007-03-09 08:50:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have to 'test-drive' the person before marrying them then you shouldn't be marrying them at all. If you love each other then you'll make it work.
I believe the following saying:-
"Don't marry someone you think you can live with, marry someone you can't live without"
2007-03-09 09:10:59 · answer #10 · answered by Katie JP 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋