My daughter is 6 moths old. When my husband was here he had little to do with her. He missed her delivery b/c he was busy texting his mom in the parking lot. A week after she was born I developed an internal infection and my dr. wanted to hospitalize me. My husband left me to go visit his mother at this time. He left 2-3 times a month to see her, and didn't mind leaving me or his child. He has been gone 7 weeks and hasn't made an attempt to see her. I don't have a problem with him visiting her at all- I have a problem with the distance she would be traveling every few weeks to go see him when he has never really had anything to do with him even when he was here. He never really wanted her and I think it is his mom who is pushing for this. Would it be unfair to make him see her here until she is a bit older and has a relationship with him. Right now it would be like leaving her with a stranger.
2007-03-09 00:25:26 · 8 answers · asked by specklesanne_13 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO . I DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE WRONG. LET HIM TRY TO SEE HER. YOU SHOULD NOT BE GOING OUT OF YOUR WAY. HE IS THE ONE THAT SHOULD BE DOING ALL HE CAN TO SEE HER. GOOD LUCK.
2007-03-09 00:32:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The longer you put it off, the more of a stranger he becomes. The man is her father. The mother is her grandmother! They have a right. Stop being so selfish. Missing the delivery isn't that big of a deal. Yes, he left you, sure he ignored his daughter for the first few months, but like I already said the kid is barely even a person. She's probably boring as hell, but as she gets older, he might want a relationship with her and it'll be harder then!
2007-03-09 08:33:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
As long as you are married, you have to understand that you can't "make him" do anything. You can do what you like, of course, and you can say no and simply not let your daughter out. But - if he wants to, he can driver her to his mother's house when he's out with her in your locality and tell you that he's not bringing her back. Then you'd have to file suit to get her back. That's extreme, but possible.
What you want to do is go talk to a divorce lawyer in your area. Tell him the situation. File for divorce, seek physical custody of the child and try to get sole legal custody as well. You'll probably wind up with sole physical, and joint legal, with him having reasonable rights of visitation. Then you'll also get an order of support that says how much child support he should pay.
Staying married to a guy who doesn't live with you is not the way to do it.
2007-03-09 08:54:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOPE sorry ur still wrong.. u can pretty it up any way u want to.. but ur still wrong, this is the time, for a relationship to start while she's young..
Im sorry i have no pitty for you, u married him, knowing he's deaf, u had a child with him knowing his deaf.. and i think ur trying to paint a really ugly picture of him, just so u will get everyone to say what u "WANT" to hear, and im not buying it sorry..
3 hours away is not that far.. its plenty close for him to pick her up on friday and have her back by sunday night.. and he doesnt need supervised visitations with u, his mother is plenty capable of helping him, she's done it all her life, and she will help in teaching him how to cope with his impairment in how to care for his child..
And perhaps, he hasnt seen his child because well only way according to u that u'll let it happen is if u can be there to control the situation.. sorry not going to happen in a court of law.. "if anything, it will be someone that is court appointed" but it wont be you.. and i think even that would kill you cause seems to me, your a control freak.. i think ur jealous of his relationship with his mother, and yes he may not be perfect but hun i doubt u are either.. You should be thrilled that he wants to be a dad as alot of guys drift off into the sunset and want absolutely nothing to do with their children at all.. want to forget they even exsisted.. yet u have a man that isnt perfect but is trying to do the right thing.. and ur wanting to put up a wall to keep that from happening..
You think that waiting till she's older is going to stop the "Stranger" feeling LMAO.. that would only make it worse right now she's a baby, and the past means very little to her as she doesnt have a "memory" like that, out of sight out of mind ever heard that term? .. This is the time to build a relationship, not down the road when she'll be scared cause she has no clue who the man is in front of her.. then u'll use the (well he hasnt seen her in 3 years ) against him, i dont think so... but , im done.. u'll learn when u go to court, and they side with him and his mother, and u'll just have to do deal with it.. IF YOUR SO DAMN WORRIED ABOUT IT.. and u FEAR SO MUCH FOR HER CAUSE SHES SO YOUNG AND HE'S SO FAR AWAY.. yet u WANT SO BADLY for her to have her father in her life.. THEN MOVE CLOSER TO HIM THEN U HAVE WHAT U WANTED.. she has a real relationship with her dad, and ur right around the corner and she's not that far anymore, but dont worry, i already know u wont do that, cause well, ITS ALL JUST EXCUSES and nothing actually REAL in what ur saying.. cause if it was me.. and i claimed to feel what ur feeling and so worried about the distance, etc.. ID MOVE FOR MY DAUGHTER! because her happiness , her needs, her wants, are always my top priority.. but then again thats would mean having to be a real mom..
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And i think its funny that this time around u left out the fact that he is DEAF out of your story.. lol.. trying to sway the vote ur way.. nice lol.. eventually u may come up with the full truth of the matter huh? lol..
2007-03-09 08:54:34 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he really a husband? I think he's a "moma's boy." Are you two separated? I'm lost on this one. Why is he acting this way?
I'm going to assume the two of you are separated. While she's young, I think he should come to the baby. When she's older, if you trust the care she'll receive, I think she could go with her dad to her grandmother's. She'll learn who grandmother is then and can bond with her. If your mother-in-law wants so desperately to spend time with her granddaughter then she can come to your home and she her for now.
2007-03-09 08:44:30 · answer #5 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a husband? Could have fooled me. The question is will he ever grow up and be a man? A father to his child and a husband to you? Give him chance if you must but I wouldn't give him the time of day. He's an irresponsible JERK who evidently likes being back home with mommy. Find a real man and drop this spoiled little boy.
2007-03-09 08:36:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
He sounds like a loser, neglecting his daughter and wife. I would tell him to take a hike and continue your life, moving upwards and forward.
And shame on his mother for letting him do this to you.
2007-03-09 08:32:00 · answer #7 · answered by calexico 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
yes
2007-03-09 09:30:29 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋