was i wrong to give cheating husband second chance?

Question

i have 2 small babies. 6 years together. dh confessed to cheating 4 times within 2 month timespan with family friend due to our not having any sex. he confessed to me 2 weeks after he broke it off with her. tried to confess right away 2 times but i thought he was joking and he didnt have the guts. girl has gone pyscho. calling stalking. we had to change cell numbers, move, get a new job. she is fat old ugly missing teeth and im sure it was just sex, no emotion involved. she is doing her hardest to steal him from me actually telling him she wasnt gonna stop till she saw us broken up. she is now claiming to be 2 months pregnant and stalked me in my car pulled me over and showed me documents. however i have ties at the clinic who checked her file and she is not pregnant. she was pissed to find out dh had already told me everything. dh has since done a complete turnaround, agreed to counseling, quit drinking, no more going out without me, going to church, being better daddy and husband

i checked for all stds, everything came back negative thank God. i for my part am trying to change too. by stopping being lazy, went and did a makeover, threw out the granny panties, started to diet, and giving him sex every day and going down on him every time. (never gave him bj's although he begged for it cause i thought it was nasty and that is how the ***** got him to fall) i also let him know this is his one and only chance if he screws this up me and the kids are gone. he is also well aware that i will be watching him like a hawk and for the time being is not allowed out at all unless with me! till he earns my trust back and even then he will be watched.

Answer 1

Your husband has caused a huge mess. Since you have children together and he has changed, you did the right thing by giving him another chance. Watch him like a hawk though and if he cheats again... leave. I would also go get checked for STD's, sounds like he slept with a nasty, disease-ridden girl.

Answer 2

I agree. Get checked for STD's.
I understand you wanting to do your best to keep your family together and if he puts true prolonged effort then great, but if he starts going back to drinking and going out without or doesn't see the need for counselling anymore I would be concerned.
I normally would say dont' take him back because the trust that you had in your marriage is now gone and being with someone you don't trust can be very difficult on a person.
Good luck.

Answer 3

This is very sad. You need to truely believe your husband is done with this other woman and that he has not cheated before. Marriage is for better or for worse and sometimes people make mistakes(my husband did too) I believe there had to be something missing from your relationship on both sides and that you need to figure it out. Keep communicating about everything. If you can figure out what caused him to cheat and you believe that it won't ever happen again then give it a chance. Be sure you both have your heart and soul in the relationship or it will never work. My husband cheated a year ago and it actually made our relationship stronger because all the things that we were missing as a couple we ended up talking about and figuring out. In a way I guess I am thankful that it happened, but I would not forgive him again if he cheated. Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

I was going to say that you should have lefted him. Until I read the entire paragraph. I think you did right by giving him a second chance. Granted he was wrong, but it seems to me that he is trying awfully hard. It will get better, get on the right path and don't let that woman ruin it for you.

Answer 5

no