So here is the deal...I've been married for three years now. Great marriage and happy. We don't want children, so it's just us. Anyways, the sex is always great, but there is a problem. I don't have a problem recieving oral. But, I don't EVER ask for it, I automatically just get it...which is okay. Anyways, I will not go down on my husband. People are different, and I find it repulsive and degrading. Mainly just gross. I don't want that "thing" in my mouth. Like I said...he loves sex, and loves giving oral....and I wouldn't even care if he was like "well i'm not going to give you oral anymore". It wouldn't phase me, because it's not that big of deal. Yes, I love him and want to please him, but that has never peaked my interest and find it disgusting. It wouldn't matter if he bathed, shaved, or sprayed cologne near it. I won't do it. How do I get him to stop asking me? He asks EVERY time, and it almost always kills the mood.
2007-03-09 00:11:03 · 12 answers · asked by good cookie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If I were you husband I would stop licking your beaver! I'm one of those men that love to lick on my wife. But if she stopped giving slob jobs, I would stop licking her.
Nope, give and take Baby. Not for "better AND worse" either! Open your mouth and take it! Otherwise expect to see lipstick around the base of his Johnson!
2007-03-09 07:53:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, my philosophy is that in the perfect, ideal relationship each person gets everything they want and asks the other for nothing that they don't like. So, I'm on both your sides. He should not push you for something you don't like. However, if you love him then you should figure out a way to give him what he wants.
Maybe you should think about why you think it's "degrading." You like it done to you. Are you "degrading" your husband by letting him do it? If not, why not?
Is there a way to make it not repulsive? What makes you find it repulsive? Is it mainly the end point? Perhaps you can stop before the end point as a compromise?
Do some research - there may be a way to overcome your feelings about it (which sound a little pathological....) or there may be a way to meet half way.
To just "get him to stop" - will only create a problem. It'll fester. He'll start jokingly complaining about how you tell him no. Then it'll build up to some kind of resentment.
If there was something you liked that you weren't getting - say - foreplay - because your husband found foreplay to be degrading and repulsive - you'd be pretty upset if he was going around asking other people how to "get her to stop" asking for it. You'd resent it. And, then you'd start finding fault in other areas of the relationship as a result of that resentment.
That's what's going to happen here if you don't handle this right. You may not think it's the same thing as the reverse example I just gave -- but it is exactly the same from his point of view. And, contrary to the opinion of many women, a man's feelings are just as important as a woman's.
2007-03-09 08:32:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have only been married for three years, and you have probably never been involved with anyone besides your husband. I can sort of understand why you would not want to do that. I think you will eventually do it if you really do love your husband. I think the main reason you don't want to do it is because your husband keeps asking you to do it. This is really strange to me because almost every woman I know of enjoys giving her husband oral sex. Don't become too selfish. You might end up in a divorce. That might happen anyway if your husband is just a sex maniac and you are not. Everything should be fine as long as your husband does not start asking for anal sex too. You think oral sex with your husband is digusting? Anal sex is disgusting.
2007-03-11 22:57:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am with him. Sorry.
Signed,
Married men who give head to their wives but never get it back.
Continued: He is going to keep asking because it's what he wants. All men want it. What the heck is so gross about it?
He gives it to you because he loves doing something for you. The fact that you hate doing something which is purely enjoyable to him reveals a lot about you. Your "repulsive and degrading" comment is self-inflicted. There is nothing repulsive about it.
You find doing something that puts a smile 10 miles wide on your husbands face degrading? What a prize you are.
2007-03-09 08:22:56 · answer #4 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear good coo...
Please note that there is nothing wrong you are doing...some people just can't get passed certain things...believe me he is not asking you anything illegal or so gross that you have to think about it....giving him oral sex is very normal...
Listen, instead of focusing on how to make him stop asking, focus on what you can do to overcome the issue....look for sugarfree cool whip, that you can use....and I say sugarfree so it will not be sticky and messy...and not so bad for you...
There are various flavors you can try...and if he has bathed and clean you should smell NOTHING>>> if you put flavor topping around the area...it will be very pleasant for both of you.
YOU must look into ways to keep him, if he really want that and he is not going to get it...he might look elsewhere. YOU should not allow that to become the issue.
Good luck
2007-03-13 07:44:19 · answer #5 · answered by Ariana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha. I'm sorry for laughing. I don't know what to say. Men think they need it. Try it at least a little each time and you may find it turns you on. I thought it was disgusting at first too. But it gets me aroused and me and my husband usually have fun.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that oral sex doesn't necessarily mean he has to c_um in your mouth. I still can't do that! yuck.
2007-03-09 08:28:28 · answer #6 · answered by Just me. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be careful. i just found out my husband cheated. why? not enough sex and never giving him head. a family friend thought he was such a good dad/husband she fell in love with him, chased him and finally got him by getting drunk with him and giving him head then suggesting a hotel. cheated on me 3 times with her (car sex) then guilt made him break things off and confess. said it was all his fault and i didnt have to change a thing.....i gave him the second chance but you can believe we do sex every day now, i constantly text him sexy messages and i go down every single time. need tips tho, might have to go out and buy a manual be he sure is happy now, and his behavoir? complete 180. being better husband better daddy. comes home straight from work every single day, stopped drinking and started going to church!
2007-03-09 08:33:48 · answer #7 · answered by maylene1852 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really not degrading, its not like he has to finish there. Ive always just considered it a part of foreplay. If you can open yourself up to trying it, there are several products from www.pureromance.com that can help with things like the taste and gag reflex. Good Luck
2007-03-09 10:07:52 · answer #8 · answered by Klingonhomeworld 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you don't know how to give head...
it's not gross. it's part of your husband. it's not fair either.
he's going down on you...coming up for air-face looking like a glazed donut, and you cant put his penis in your mouth? come on now...
watch a flick together and just start by kissing it or something. then as you get more comfortable doing it you'll do it more and he'll be forever grateful.
you'll be spitting on it in no time! ;-)
he won't leave the subject alone until you do it or until he's getting it on the side.
2007-03-09 08:54:30 · answer #9 · answered by Marsha Mellow 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As a wife who would do anything for her husband, I have to disagree...you should really try to get past those feelings...it's not degrading when you love someone and married to him...trust me, he won't let it go...try it! You may just enjoy it!
2007-03-09 08:32:40 · answer #10 · answered by mrs O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋