please help. im despairing with myself, im 19 years old and have a boyfriend (same age) who worships the ground i work on. i honestly love him and want kids with him and a life with him. we are booked to go on holiday also. The problem starts when i go clubbing with my friends (who are single) i drink and get drunk and have drunken kisses with men. The guilt is overwhelming and i have confessed to my BF and all occasions. WHich now tallies 4. The last time i 'cheated' i kissed aroudn 3 men. My bf is heartbroken by this but continues to remain with me and love me. but please help, he can't take much more i know, and i can almost sense it iwll happene again. i have never and would never cheat sober. though no it isnt excuse. any ideas how to stop. do i just not tell him if i do it again?
2007-03-09 00:09:38 · 24 answers · asked by Rachael 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hey Louise, know what? They say the key to happiness is to work out what you love doing and do it heaps, then work out what you hate doing and DON'T DO IT !! Hey girl, don't be so hard on yourself, you can't erase what you've done now can you.......... ?? Everyone's done stuff they're not too proud of, but the key here is to learn from your misakes and just change channels. You know, do something else instead. Work out with your buddies something else to do. Something healthier ?? After all, we only have one chance at this life and it makes a tonne of sense to do the best we can. Be nice to your body, you've worked out that your body doesn't like booze so just don't do it. Be tough girl, you can do it. Besides, the sense of achievement you'll feel will be so self satisfying you'll regain all your confidence and self esteem. You a lucky girl, you've got a fantastic man there and you do deserve to be supremely happy. You just have to let it happen and let the past go.
PEACE
................ :0)
2007-03-09 01:05:04 · answer #1 · answered by Minx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but you don't honestly love him otherwise this problem would not occur. Maybe you should stop going clubbing or drinking so much. You may find yourself in a situation where a man wants more than a kiss. Your poor boyfriend is standing by you for the time being but one day he will snap and leave you. Could you not arrange to go out with other couples instead of your single mates. I don't think you are ready for this relationship though.
2007-03-12 03:14:02 · answer #2 · answered by picklexxx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all what do YOU mean by cheating?
If it is kisses and NOTHING more then one could say that you really enjoy being kissed when drunk (no I am not saying that this is not worth worrying about).
The real question is what is going through YOUR mind?
19.
Great boyfriend who seems like he is 'The One'
Wanting children.
Are you actually ready for all of this? Do you want to 'give up' your lets face it, free and easy party life, for nappies, Richard & Judy, coffee mornings and 'hi honey, I'm home'?
If on the other hand it is NOT just kisses and it is something more, then you need to dump him and be ashamed of yourself (sorry about that but come on - three times?!) as you really don't deserve him, especially as you are a repeat offender.
Ask yourself what you really want - good luck.
2007-03-12 05:37:30 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are using the drink as an excuse to cheat - if you loved your b/f then drunk or not you would be faithful There are thousands and thousands of people who go out each week and get drunk but they don't go off kissing men - if you love him quit the drink it is going to end the relationship because if you are getting that drunk one night you will end up in bed with someone else
2007-03-09 00:17:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well the first thing to do is to stop getting drunk. We all know that we lose our inhibitions when we're under the influence. But then you've got to ask yourself why you keep doing this when you have a seemingly adorable fella at home? Your self-esteem sounds really low, and you could be pulling blokes to boost this. You're caught in a vicious circle, you go out, get drunk, pull a bloke, feel guilty - so you go out, get drunk...blah, blah....I'm surprised your bloke has stood by you, he must really love you - does this account for nothing? I'm not saying that you should stop going out with your friends, but you stop acting like you're single like they are - unless you want to be of course, because you soon will be if you get caught out again. When you're sober, ask yourself what it is that makes you do it, then next time you go out set yourself a limit on the amount you will drink - and when you've reached it, say goodnight to your free and single mates and head home to your boyfriend. You can do it if you want to - you've just got to want to!
2007-03-09 00:28:12 · answer #5 · answered by Pink girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop drinking before you get to the point where you are likely to do it again. its probably some insecurity thing or maybe a subconcious way of telling yourself that you dont in fact really love your boyfriend and want the single life for a bit longer.
Just dont do it
2007-03-09 00:17:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either need to stop going clubbing or just stop drinking!!! If you really really love him you should be able to do that for the sake of the relationship!!You need to decide whats more important --- going out and getting drunk with your freinds or your boyfreind??? x
2007-03-09 01:13:16 · answer #7 · answered by jo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how pathetic are you i would assume you were actually 14 not 19 you ARE using drink as an excuse your boyfriend is better off without you. if i treated mine like that hed get rid in a shot and vice versa how can you say you want to be with him and have his kids when you cant grow up you either need to stop going out with these friends of yours or stop getting so drunk or end your relationship with your man as he dont dersrve that.i really hope for future kids sake that you stop being such a little slapper and be faithfull to your man.GROW UP MADAM.
2007-03-09 00:37:49 · answer #8 · answered by lilly 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
STOP DRINKING!! You say you love him then start treating him some respect, it would serve you right if he dumped you - if it was the other way around then I'm sure you'd dump him and rightly so. Dont use drink as an excuse, just dont drink so much.
2007-03-09 02:05:02 · answer #9 · answered by keeley 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you love your booze more than your man.
This will make a wonderful life for him a woman who cheats every time she gets drunk and loves her bottle more than him.
I personally would not be proud to have a drunk--s l u t -- as a mate.
So what is your solution ?????
Quit your booze or quit your man.
2007-03-09 02:39:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋