Why is loving a person so difficult ?

Question

I have just ended a 3 year long relationship, and trying to give myself another chance to start all over again.

But fear of repeating the history and gaining someone's trust is so difficult.

Everyday seems to be a standstill to me, I have been daydreaming alot until friends are avoiding me.

I wish i can find back myself, do some soul searching and put down all my emotions into writing. Sometimes being alone is so scary, like the whole world is ignoring me.

I know life has to go on, but lack the drive and motivation now. Seems like i have nothing to strive for, nothing to look forward to, and tomorrow is like a black hole.

I have ask alot of friends, i appreciate their patience and time. But taking in their advice and making it happen is like impossible.

I know there is no way i can turn back the clock, but some how or rather, i believe i have to work it out myself and find a totally different and new me....

Answer 1

maybe the one you lost still not your Mr.Right.
Just use the time you have now to make yourself a better girl.
Be sure you are ready when your true love comes.

Before I met my bf, I had these unhappy experiences before, I cried, confused, but I believe in myself, I know I am worth better.
So I do all these thing I dreamed to do, travelled a lot, changed my job to a more interesting one, then one day, I really met my Mr.Right in Paris.
All things are perfect, I always know that I am a God-blessed-girl, actually, I believe every girl is blessed by God, but you need to do your job, don't let yourself down. The right guy is always there, better than you thought.

Answer 2

I can relate to you. See, my boyfriend and I are having troubles, well I am having troubles with him, anyway. We are very different from one another and sometimes, well most of the time, I dont think that we are meant for each other.
I feel scared, selfish (because I'm not telling him), and lonely. I hate the thought of "starting over."
But my friend had a good idea she told me that I need to take a vacation to cleanse my thoughts and ponder about my situation. I think that you should do the same thing. I know that times can be hard...but your right...life must go on. People break up all the time and it's not the end of the world. Try and keep yourself busy. Take a yoga or bellydancing class, visit an art museum. Get a total makeover! New hair cut, hair coor, and style. It will give your self-esteem an extra va-va-voom! have a cocktail at a new lounge. Dont feel sorry for yourself. Indulge life as much as possible because you never know when your life will end. Hang out with your friends as much as possible. Thats why they are your friends. They are supposed to be there for you when your stuck in turmoil. Call them a much as possible and always always be true to yourself no matter what. Stick with your guns. We can do this! Dont forget that many people are stuck in your situation too. Breakups happen all the time. People get over it and move on.

*I guess I should take my own advice

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear you're having difficulty but, love is a part of life and has been proven hard through out history.
Don't allow yourself to be consumed by the memories of a hurtful past. Look forward toward the future and your possibilities can become vast.
Though it is said "time can heal all wounds" and I believe this statement is true. There are no directions to heal the scares these wounds inflict on you.
Don't be pessimistic cause realistically your glass can't always be half empty. If you lye there in misery your may miss the person meant to fill the other half entirely .

Answer 4

There...! the situation is that it replaced into for 'one' 365 days..! If love could be divided in ranges then, you could call your area in simple terms the initiating..! What i advise is you have been on the 1st ordinary point of your love existence,, that's stuffed with surprises, helpful emotions..!! spending super time mutually, looking forward to others emotions, each little thing around feels so captivating, and additionally quite some expectancies.. whilst in this area, actual you do no longer even 'be attentive to' the guy totally.. never had time to work out any flaws additionally.. flaws that all of us have as people....ur memories of him are all intense-high quality ones.... So, you undergo in concepts him as an incredible individual and a ideal individual..! Your admiration for this individual is to the quantity which you're putting your self on a low point thinking you do no longer deserve him and that your stable for no longer something... which isn't authentic am particular.. you could stop bothering approximately him, so do no longer could seem up for him on networking web pages.! Lesson for you is you will possibly pick to 'particularly' keep away from him..! he's no longer the only individual on the planet who you think of is all surprising and angel like.. you are going to be open to people and please get rid of your bitterness expensive.! total existence forward and am particular lot people will touch your existence, make it significant.. ..and supply you and your existence an entire new perspective.....! shop smiling :) choose u stable success.!

Answer 5

don't be scared of repeating history...everyone is different and you will love someone new differently.

you sound like you're grieving over the break up, which is part of the healing process.

you are not alone...you are just feeling lonely right now b/c of the fresh break-up. you won't feel like that forever. have patience, my dear!

be alone for a while. give yourself time. time to soul search. time to find out who you are and what you want from someone. figure out what you want out of a relationship and more importantly, what you don't want in a relationship.

at least you've learned from this relationship and you can take what you've learned into your next relationship.

i wish you well.

Answer 6

look u are trying to play the victim ...dont do that it will brake u down
just convince ur self u r strong u can get over it i know 3 years is not a short period and its a heart braking but u have to be strong its the real test...love is nice but when u find sth nicer u will be ok...find sth to do...play football or basketball or music or anything...avoid day dreaming and let ur friends help u in that whenever they see u daydreaming let them just wake u up and be sure not to stay alone ever whatever was the situation unless u want to sleep...stay busy it'll take a long time but i can assure u if u do that u'll be over it and u'll be stronger

Answer 7

Find a new activity. Maybe something you always wanted to do. Make sure it is an activity with people so that at least you have the chance to meet someone new. However, just enjoy the activity on its own merits. Be good to yourself ahd have a little bit of (new, interesting) fun!

Answer 8

look... i understand because i was the same way. i fell in love with my best friend and we dated and messed up our friendship and i dont talk to him any more and it hurt like hell. but there was nothing i could do about it..i knew i had to move on but i felt as if i would never get over it, but as time passed i didnt think of him as much until the day came that i didnt think about him at all. i have a trust problem because i been cheated on and fu just take things slow and dont fall to fast...try to get to know the person before anything so u know what they all about and what the want exactly, you know.
and i felt like u did, all lost and what not, like i had no one.. just find something to get ur mind off of things, sports, books, etc, anything that u know can keep ur attention and keeps ur mind focused..dont worry about every body else just yet.. worry about u because if u arent sure about urself why would people want to hang around, i dont know if u understand what i mean.. just worry about you before anyone else. if u din have u u dont have anything...

Answer 9

when ur love life gets complicated, maybe u should just kick back, relax, and go do something you like, have a little personal time, maybe go out and get a few beers so you can 'heal'

Answer 10

WOW .... I love your insight and strength ... I think you have already started the journey of self-discovery by writing down and sharing your inner most thoughts ....... enjoy discovering yourself :-)