Very bad situation..I don't know what to do?

Question

My ex-girlfriend and I are still in love, but we can't be together because she is unhappy with me when we are! She was raped by her ex-boyfriend when they were going out in January. Her mistake, she never told anyone until now. And she told me she is 10 days late for her period. And to make matters worse she found out I had been with other girls while we were broken up, which makes her even more depressed. I know that I was allowed to do what I wanted but at the time I didn't know she still loved me. And whenever I try to help she says I'm the problem. I offer to leave her alone and stay away from her but when I do that she gets angry with me, like she doesn't want me to leave. I don't want to leave her alone but it seems like the best idea..she's unhappy no matter what. The problem is we still love each other but can't be together. I'm 15, she's 15 and her ex is 17. I know this is alot of drama at my age but I can't seem to escape it. What should I do? She told me she doesn't want to

tell the police about what happened because she doesn't want to go through all that court stuff again. I can't seem to do ANYTHING to help her...it's like the problem is unsolvable.

I never had sex with her if that's what you guys are thinking.She's depressed because her virginity was taken away as well when she was raped.

Answer 1

Mom and Dad should lock the both of you up.

Answer 2

there is no such thing as an unsolvable problem, but ultimitley its her prob 2 solve, and its good u want 2 help her but help is all u can do. and sounds like a relationship is the last thing she needs the 1st would b a pregnancy test then counseling or maybe just some one 2 listen without trying 2 fix it. and as far as u both still being in love it sounds like its more u than her. it sounds like she wants u as a friend because shes comfortable with u and is probably leading u on so she can have u around when something goes wrong n her life so be friends with her listen 2 her problems help if u can but try 2 keep your emotions out of it as best u can or at least keep them 2 yourself and after shes feeling better if she starts seeing another guy then u should move on.

Answer 3

Is there a school counsellor she can talk to? She might be pregnant like you said & she needs to do something about it. Her parents may find out sooner or later. How close is she to them? She cannot handle this matter by herself.And she definitely needs counselling for the trauma is long term & damaging.

She' scared & doesn't know what to do. She also hits out at you (and no, you're not the problem here) as she felt betrayed by you. However, you're right in saying it's cos you both broke up so there should not be guilt involved. She's not being reasonable now, no surprise considering her state & her age.

Is there someone she is particularly close to besides you? How about her mother or aunt or a femal teacher she likes? An adult woman would be ideal. Something has to be done real soon and she will continue to fight you cos you're the nearest punching bag she can find. Professional help is needed as soon as possible.

Answer 4

first of all...i had a baby at 15. its hard and you lose out on your teenage yrs. it doesnt seem stressful as much for a male because he isn't the one having to carry a baby for 9 months and depressed because he feels alone. She on the other hand feels alone. She will be stressed because of the fact she may be pregnant. She probably doesn't know if her ex or you is the father and is afraid to tell you because she fears of your anger with her. You guys are involved with a serious matter. She also might fear that if she is pregnant how will she tell her parents. She needs your help deep down inside let her know how you feel. My advice to you is being how younge you are sit with a friend that you trust and talk about what you should do.

Answer 5

She needs to see a counsellor. You just have to be supportive, know that she does love you and go with the flow. She's mixed up at the moment with too many emotions. Definitely don't push her for explanations or answers. Just let her know that you're there for her.

You are both really young and this is heavy stuff. It is hard for you to know this now, but things may change and you may both start to see each other from a different perspective as this situation unfolds.

It would probably be good for you to see someone as well.

Answer 6

Understand she was raped and is still dealing with the trauma. Rape is a horrible experience and she has alot to deal with. She did not tell anyone until now because though it is not her fauclt she probably feels that way and her emotions are all over the place. All you can do is be there for her when she needs someone to talk to. She really needs to report this creep before he hurts others. Suggest she talk to someone dealing with rape victims. She is struggling right now and th ere are no easy words or actions to make it easier.

Answer 7

It sounds like she doesn't knlow what she wants. If she's 10 days late, then she got pregnant around valentine's day, if she is preganant. When you're that young periods are irregular especially if you have multiple partners or are very stressed. I think she has emotional issues and it's probably better for you if you left her alone. Find someone you can be happy with and forget about her. Be a friend if you want, but nothing more. If she is preganant, do you think it is yours?

Answer 8

Just keep on expressing your warmth to her whenever you meet her but do not pester her. Regarding the rape you just forget about it since you can neither console her nor can you question the third person only time will heal her from this situation. Waiting is the best remedy for you at this point of time.

Answer 9

Will you take responsibility for a pregnancy and be treated like an outsider by her. You seem like a great guy, you should not stay around for her to abuse you emotionally, when all you want to do is be there for her. Get out now before its too late.

Answer 10

Wow, big problem for young people. I think both of you should get some kind of counsuling. and she should go to the police on the other Ex-boyfriend he is a preditor and may do this again to someone else, he needs to be stop....

Answer 11

You can walk into any church, and get the phone number to a clinic for help for a situation like this. No judging...talk and help. She needs somone to talk to. At your age, your feelings are real, but it isn't your problem if she can't be with you. Get her help. You would be in over your head making lifetime decisions for her at this point.