I want to get back with my ex but depression may be a factor. What do I do?

Question

You may have seen my previous posts about my ex girlfriend.

She ended things 1 mth ago after going out 9 mths on the basis her feelings had changed. This coincided with her suffering from depression. She also suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

I said to her I thought she was depressed (she has a history). She admitted she was & went to the dr who prescribed prozac and counselling. 1 wk later she said she wasn't depressed, didn't need counselling and it was our relationship causing her unhapiness. We broke up.

I didn't contact her to give her space. She contacted me recently to discuss some of my things she had.

We spoke and met up last night which went really well and it was like when we first were together, we laughed a lot!

I did not mention anything negative e.g. depression/our split.

I am not sure how to take the next steps. I want to be with her but don't want to scare her away? At some point I will need to mention the break up/depression.

Answer 1

I dont mean to sound rude , but the problems you had with her before will still be there , but you may of forgotten them as vivid as they once were , i would suggest you talk to her if that makes you feel better , but as in commitment , and full time being able to help her feel better , will drain you , and in the end will be pointless anyway , if you feel that it is your task to help her , dont .. there is a reason it finished the first time .. try and remember that...

Answer 2

A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/YJivs

They might realize they need you and come crawling back!

If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.

Answer 3

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/BK6eP

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 4

i wouldnt mention it jst yet. carry on with wot u r doin, be her friend, sounds like that is jst wot she needs. jst let her kno that u r there 4 her wen she needs u, take her out 2 cheer her up an hopfully u'll hav gud times like lst nyt.

if u think there maybe a chance that ur relationship was the reason 4 her depression, then u shudnt jst jump bak in without talkin about where it went wrong. communication is the key 2 every happy relationship.

good luck! x

Answer 5

Wow, this has hit so close to home. I completely understand your situation however I feel as if her depression may be caused from her being unsure in her life. It isn't that she doesn't care about you its that she needs to find out a little more about who she really is. I would talk to her and express your worry about her and thats about all you can do. You can't fix her problems she has to look deep into herself and resolve them through medication or other routes. But hold you head up and eventually she will either realize your greatness or you will realize you aren't able to deal with her problems alone. good luck!

Answer 6

Sounds all very familiar. I think you keep on doing exactly what you have explained to us. Caring, supportive, at a distance she is comfortable with and never miss an opportunity to give her a hug. Depression is a bummer, prozac is unlikely to be the answer, but it takes ages for any kind of stability to appear, and who knows what normal is for her after going through it. Patience and understanding are the keys to your goal.

Answer 7

Not seen previous posts. but 9mths is still early day's.
if things were good at your last meeting then continue as you would if this was a new relationship, the issues that caused the break-up can then be discussed in a more settled manner!

Answer 8

it seems to me you know the steps you need to take to get there... you're right about bringing up the breakup/depression subject but it's about timing, right? go out with her a few more times but i would hazard to guess to mention the above at least within five dates.... and earlier if you two become physically intimate(and do use protection as things can become really messy if she is impregnated).
Lastly, it really sounds like you already know what to consider but always... always consider your feelings first and play it from there... if you're happy or content in general concerning life, relationships and all that is important to you... then apply this with your current potential gf... u have my prayers and i wish u luck

Answer 9

I think you need to back off a little and just be supportive of her. She needs help and if she says you make her depressed then you need to leave her alone and let her try to get over these feelings.

Answer 10

sound.s like you are having a bad time.my son suffer.s with smiler problems. i do not know if your young lady is on medication.if she is ; someone as to make sure she is taking it. if she is not on med.s she need.s to see a doc ; good luck.