How do you get over your dog's death?

Question

My dog died over 18mths ago and whenever I think about him good or bad the tears start to roll. I think it is partly because I never got to say goodbye (he was living with my parents and got bitten by a snake) How do I get over the sadness? it probably doesn't help that I have photo's on the wall of him, should I take take them down? they're there for respect to my best friend but also a constant reminder. I tearing up now writing the question.

Please don't answer with 'get over it' because it's not really that simple!

Answer 1

You don't get over it Honey. The more you love your animal, the longer it will take and time is the only answer. After time you will Cherish the memories that bring a smile to your face but that may take a long time. I had a cat that at seven years she got sick and I found out she had terminal cancer. I made a decision to have her put to sleep and the pain was so great that I couldn't get her off my mind for years, yes I said years. To this day, and it's been five and a half years, there are times I laugh at a memory and times I get something caught in my throat and can't even say her name. See, I loved her so much, and I made a decision to end her life. It is much better now. Maybe it will never go away, I don't know. And, I didn't have anyone to talk to, they didn't understand how I was grieving a cat that was dead for years, but you understand, and I understand your hurt. I wish I could hurt for you but I can't, you must do this on your own, because you loved your beloved pet so much, only time will take care of the hurt and the tears. There are many sites on the Internet that may help. They have forums on grief and so many will reach out to you, I promise and God bless. Dorothy

Answer 2

When Being Strong Hurts More Than Grieving Can
The death of a pet is never an easy time. Whether it is an older animal, who may have been a part of the family longer than most of the furniture and some of the children, or a pet who has been with you for only a few years, the loss can be truly traumatic. And if the end comes through a conscious decision for euthanasia, other emotions become entangled with the basic sense of loss. Once it's over, you may prefer to think that the experience is behind you. Unfortunately, it is not.

There will be a hole in your household and in your life for a while, and for the first part of that "while" the hole may seem huge. There ARE ways to fill the gap. However, the loss itself is not something you can simply ignore, assuming that your world will adjust itself. Instead, you must deal with that something, just as you would deal with the loss of any other good friend. Yes, it is a different kind of relationship, but to behave otherwise is to try and change your attitude in mid-stride. You cannot expect yourself to think of your pet as a friend and then to dismiss those feelings as disposable because THIS friend happened to be an animal. It is NOT silly to miss your pet, and it is NOT overly sentimental to grieve.

Another difference lies in the always complicated idea of "what happens next". Many people, especially older folks, express a very real concern that they won't see their animals in the next life (whatever that may be) because they have been told that animals have no souls. Maybe you, like me, are a little unsure about what exactly " the next life" holds for any of us. However, if having a soul means being able to feel love and trust and gratitude, then aren't some animals better equipped than a lot of humans?

But still, he was pet and not a person, and that makes it more complicated to sort out exactly what you are supposed to do and feel. Although we recognize the individual personalities in pets, that doesn't mean that they are just little people. The relationship you have with your pet is different from any human relationship you may have. We have the responsibility to care for animals and to learn from them. As we domesticated pets, they became dependent upon us for their needs. Part of caring for them, especially in a technologically advanced society, often means deciding when an animal can no longer live a happy life or even a content one.

When an animal is made a pet by a responsible, caring person, he is being given exactly what he needs and wants: his "creature comforts", companionship, and the opportunity to return the favor through loyalty and affection. Dogs, especially, are naturally eager to please the "leader of the pack", and the owner takes on that role. So the dog is never happier than when he knows that he is pleasing that person. When he is too old or too sick to respond in the way HE thinks he should, he can't understand why and feels the anxiety of failure.

Because their natural life-spans are shorter than ours, we usually outlive our pets. However, the life you shared cannot simply be abandoned. Don't deny yourself the thoughts, memories, and feelings that your pet's life deserves. You may decide to fill the hole with another pet. However, you can never replace the special bond you held with the one who is gone.

Answer 3

Listen I lost my beloved Yellow Lab over six years ago and I still get teary talking about him too. Just like right now. A pet is like a family member if you were to lose a human family member you would probably never fully get over that. Keep your pictures up and remember the good times you had with your best friend. It will get easier eventually. I also just lost my Bull Mastiff/German Shepherd mix a few weeks ago and I still cry for him too.
It will get easier but you will never get over your loss completely. People grieve for their pets in different ways. Some people longer than others. I think that even if you were able to say goodbye you will still be morning his death.

Good luck, and don't let anyone tell you that you are crazy for morning the death of your dog. There are support groups out there if you need them. Check on line for one in your area.

Answer 4

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
How do you get over your dog's death?
My dog died over 18mths ago and whenever I think about him good or bad the tears start to roll. I think it is partly because I never got to say goodbye (he was living with my parents and got bitten by a snake) How do I get over the sadness? it probably doesn't help that I have photo's on...

Answer 5

A lot of people don't realise how hard it is when you lose a pet...they're one of your family.

It is very sad indeed. I still think about animals I've lost through my life....some of them many years ago. I've always had a great number of animals for years...so you'd think I would be used to it, but I'm not.

What always helps me though is to get another pet. I usually rescue one from a dog's home, then as I get to know the dog, it's nice to think that at least through your last dog, another dog gets to have a nice home.

I think you should keep a picture of your lovely dog up on your wall...pick the best one and you could put the others in a special album just for him.

I think turning your focus to another dog will really help you heal. I hope you're able to do that.

Best wishes.

Answer 6

Well if you family member is about 14, that is very old for a dog. The minute we are born we all start to die. The same in dogs. She is slowy letting all of you know that her time is coming. Dying is so hard on all of us. You are young, and death is a hard one to face. I am 48, and I do not like death. But I know it is all apart of out lives. There is nothing anyone can do to stop your family member from dying it is apart of her life cycle. Have you had her to the vet? I mean do your parents just think it is cancer, or do they know it is? I mean 14 is getting old, but maybe she is just sick. I really hope that is what it is. Otherwise, you have to make her comfortable, and peaceful for the rest of her life here on earth. I wish you the best.

Answer 7

My dog died too whilst living with my parents, i didn't gt to say good bye either, we'd had her since she was born i was there at the birth 11 yeas ago then last year she sat on my dads lap and started to swell up they rushed her to the vets who said sadly their is nothing more we can do shes in alot of pain and its mainly just her nerves that's alive her brain had gone dead too so she had to go, i miss her dearly like u yours I'm sure there is no way of getting over it, but try putting the photos away and just get them out now and again like on the anniversary of her death or maybe get a new pup i got a kitten who has just this day given birth to 3 cuties to which I'm going to name one tiny after my dog I'm sorry for your loss i know its hard but these things take time x

Answer 8

Your dog died but he is not gone. He will be in your heart and memory forever. It is ok to cry.
I think of the death of my dog who was taken very very young to cancer (18 months) as I would if it was the death of a family member, this is because my baby Leah was, is and always will be a family member. We all love her dearly. We have pictures of leah around the house and we have a plot of garden where her ashes are buried there are rose bushes in pinks and whites and a plaque in her memory. I go sit out there often and I tend to her garden and I talk to her like I used to talk to her when she was here with us. My children also go visit her garden often because they can talk to her there too. I guess it is like having a plaque at a crematorium which you would do for any loved family member and we wouldt take pictures down of them would we.
There is nothing wrong with crying over your beloved boy regardless of how much time has past. If you feel the pictures remind you of him and you want to take them down do so, but dont take them down unless you really want to.. again it is ok to cry.
Even tho it has been 18 months since he passed you can still make a special place for the two of you. Be that a piece of garden (as I have done) a planter box or even make a scrap book/diary of thoughts and pictures.
Your memories and love for him will not vanish just because you take the pictures down....

I have since got another dog (not that I am saying you should) I love the new dog dearly but for different reasons and in a completely different way. But I love her as much and daily I am satisfied I saved this dog from certain death at the pound. I am sure my baby girl Leah would hav wanted this too...
As well I am crying for my girl leah as I write this answer to you. I get some satisfaction knowing all our dogs who have passed are playing happlily over Rainbow Bridge waiting for the days we all meet again

Chin up, your heart will tell you if you should or should not remove the pictures xxx

Answer 9

Well, first you might want to take down some of the pictures. Just pick out your one favorite one and put it on your dresser or something. Second, I suggest you consider getting a puppy. But this time get a different type of dog,so its not like your replacing him, cuase your not. I know it will be hard at first but eventually you'll be to busy taking care of your new little puppy to let it hurt so bad. And, just becuase I've known people who have been very attached to thier pets and had a hard time letting go, I suggest that if this goes on for very much longer you might want to see some kind of grief counseler to help you get over your loss. Well, I hope you find a way to cope, and I hope this helps.

Answer 10

This might sound kinda out there, but if you think it'd help, maybe have a private "service" for him (just you at the burial site or whatever might be the best way to do it), so you can kind of feel like you said goodbye. It might be a start, at least.

And "counseling" would be the easy answer, but I'm sure you've considered that by now.