my long term girl freind shouts at the kids alot in the morning?

Question

when i get the kids up i do it has quietly as pos cuz i no if she gets up there will be a argument or something i ve tried waking her up gently but 9 times out of 10 this dont work she use to go to anger managment but stoped going any sirgestions ?????

Answer 1

Tell her to get her lazy a*se out of bed!

Answer 2

You need to have another talk with her. I know you must have discussed this before and very seriously as she has already been to anger management, so you both know there is a serious problem here. You have to find out why she stopped going to her classes and if there is no good reason then you have to make some serious decisions of your own. Is she totally commited to this relationship? Could her anger problems be causing distress and hardship for the children? Are the children from your relationship with her? Is her anger caused by some other reason, such as does she want marriage, children of her own, not to have children and the responsibility but afraid to be on her own. There are many questions here that you must find out the answer to. If she refuses to speak and take any steps to sort out the problem you may have to issue an ultimatum. You are clearly worried and unhappy with the current situation as would any responsible person be concerning children. Don't ask strangers for the answers, ask her.

Answer 3

Sounds like either she feels lots of pressure in the morning (kids moving too slow, too much to do, getting ready for work, etc.) OR she has a real problem with anger and frustration.. or both! I think walking on eggshells and 'waking her up gently' isn't right either (it's not working anyway), she shouldn't be babied, she's an adult with adult responsibilities. She should also be able to deal with her kids in the mornings without losing it. If she's feeling pressure then she needs to ask you for help.

I know I get very frustrated because my 7-yr-old boy seems to need constant nagging to get dressed, eat his breakfast, brush his teeth, etc. If I really look at what's going on, though, I'm feeling pressure because I've been disorganised and am running late. As soon as I relax (making sure I'm awake early enough to be organised), then things work much more smoothly. (My boy doesn't move any faster, but I'm able to deal with it in a much calmer way, e.g., in a calm voice I say, 'Get dressed right now or I turn off the tv,' and if he doesn't comply, then the tv goes off until he does what I've asked. Action/inaction,then consequence. Guaranteed to work, every time!)

Have you tried talking to her about her behaviour? Good luck, I'm sure it's not easy to watch.

Answer 4

I think all women who have kids have to shout at them in the mornings, usually to get them to get ready for school. I do it, but they do have to be on a go slow first,and they are usually fighting, so I have to intervene. If she is just grumpy anyway and you are finding that you are trying to get the kids up and ready before she gets up, it might be that she needs to go back to anger management or a doctor. Is she depressed? Are the children hers? Just that you don't say, so they could be your kids, and she could be finding it hard to cope with. Either way, you need to have a chat with her when you are on your own and ask her why she is like this. Try telling her to go to bed earlier at night.

Answer 5

Tell her everyone is grumpy in the morning but there is no need to behave like a grizzly.

If she don't listen or take aboard your feelings, either put up with her shouting or tell her to get professional help and if she don't put her out.

I think you need to be firm before her anger gets out of control. Just think of the kids. Good luck to you. xx

Answer 6

Yes I suggest strongly a bucket of ice water over her bad tempered head, and when she wakes up surprise her with all the kids and you having packed her suitcases neatly at the front door. Why should the children and you have to put up with that. If they are her children then I would insist on her returning to the classes. Why put up with that. Poor kids.

Answer 7

Why does she shout at the kids? To make a habit of shouting st the kids every morning is just not on. I think its time to make serious changes

Answer 8

I used to have the same problem as your girlfriend. Then my husband camcorded me and I saw how ugly I was...it was shocking and I cried for an hour. Now I set my alarm to wake me up before everybody else and I lay in bed quietly and wake up slowly....I spend this time to pray with God and ask him to help me be a nicer person. Your girlfriend may not be into the whole God thing but it may help her to get her thoughts together if she woke up slowly. It works for me!

Answer 9

You should talk more to your G- friend. One on one, in a quiet location,and tell her what´s bothering you. Don´t yell back when she yells;then give her some recommendations for improvement. Ultimately give her an ultimatum. (Deadline) for improvement. Don´t tolerate her outbreaks aftrewards. If she´s showing signs of improvement,then you should coach her along gradually. Compliment her when she´s positively develops.

Answer 10

most women shout at kids in the morning because if they are like my kids if i don't shout they would not get out the bed and get ready for school,what is she like the rest of the time ?does she shout at the kids then ,have you spoken to the kids if they are happy then shouting ain't that bad just ask her to quieten it down a bit

Answer 11

I would tell her in no uncertain terms that she needs to shut her mouth! Stand up to your girlfriend on behalf of those poor kids. Tell her she needs to pack it in or else.