Don't know what this means..?

Question

I'm just wondering, I'm not really able to cry, and I don't know what this means. And this is especially weird, cause I suffer from depression and cut sometimes. I hear all these things about ppl with depression crying for no reason, and kids huddled in their rooms crying because they can't express their pain any other way than cutting and stuff. But I can't cry, atleast not about my life. If I'm watching a show or reading something, I can cry over the dumbest things, like when a parent is reunited with theirl kidnapped kid, stuff like that. But I can't cry over things in my real life that really upset me. Stuff that makes me confused, angry, sad, depressed, everything. I feel the pain, but I can't cry. Even when I'm at my lowest and considering suicide, I can't cry. At most, if I try really hard when I'm really upset, I can get a couple of tears out. Ok, my point is, what does this mean? I feel the feelings, but can't cry. Any idea? Thanks
-Sarah

Answer 1

Even though you feel the pain emotionally, you are still blocking it somewhat and that makes you numb to your own experience. The cutting only serves to foster the dissociation that maintains the numbness and one of the best things you can do for starters is to resist the urge to cut. Even though it may bring you relief temporarily, it is ultimately damaging your ability to experience the range of emotion you need in order to feel alive. My guess is that you are terrified of feeling the full brunt of the pain because you think it'll drown you and so you keep it at bay by dissociating. Trust that you won't drown in the pain and it is only by experiencing it that you can fully recover from it. Dissociation is like a dimmer switch-when it's on it blocks all feelings equally and it not only limits you from being able to cry at your own pain, but it also limits your ability to fully experience all the other feelings inside you-both the painful feelings and the pleasant ones.

Answer 2

I know exactly what you mean, i have been suffering from depression for 5 years, i was totally numb to all emotion's and blocked everyone out of my life, i wouldn't let anyone in. i got heaps sick from the medication i was on but things are now looking up for me, i was at my lowest two years ago when suicide seemed the only alternative but i found help in the oddest place ( a x gf sister ) as she was going through a similar problem as i was, we talked for 8 hours, we cried. we shared our problems, all the emotions i had been keeping inside exploded, i broke down and cried my heart out, and so did she, we both let everything out, i woke up the next morning like a new person( that was 6 months ago now) i am now off the meds back with my x and things could not be better. My advice is hang in there and be strong as you will get over it

Answer 3

It doesn't "mean" anything. It means you can't cry. It's not all that unusual, even in depression. It sucks, I'm sure. Take advantage of the times you do start to cry and really let it go. Crying in a healthy way to release emotion. Much healthier than cutting. I used to cut just so I would stop crying.

Answer 4

You should really talk to your social worker, Im hoping you have one. Depression is not fun, I've been through it as well as many people. I always would reassure myself that I am not crazy, just needed a little bit of guidance, some of it was good, while some of it was baloney. While all of this was going on, I had just got divorced, being 21, and alcohol played a major factor in this depression. Well, after a little while, going to a couple of meetings, realized that alot of people had worse problems than me, so I continued on with my career and put everything behind me. So far, its worked, its been a few years, and Im pretty happy.

Answer 5

I have that same problem but I figured out what is was. You want to cry. And you want to cry hard. But you are more caring of other than you are yourself because you don't love yourself. You don't see the beauty you carry within your heart. I'm 20 yrs old and I lost something so precious to me I didn't want to live. I became a self mutilator. I hated myself for many reasons that weren't my fault and at the time I thought were. I don't know you but do me a favor look into the mirror and think of a past time that made you smile. And look at a beautiful happy smile in the mirror. Love yourself try not to hate yourself. There are people who love you.

Pamela
Ohio

Answer 6

your tear ducts are dry, or you've already cried the tears out over stupid stuff. The suicide thoughts; You need to seek counseling in that matter. Why do you need to cry any way
be happy

Answer 7

I'm like that too. I think it is just a thing with you tolerance level(mentally). It is a good topic, I'd like to know too.
I'm 15

Answer 8

sounds to me like you are harboring pain from somewhere and not feeling free to let it go whatever has happened the pain and guilt i use to feel i came to understand that if God can forgive me unconditionally after what He has done for me who am i not to forgive myself we hurt ourselves carrying around guilt that God has forgotten we have no right to keep hanging on to it............good luck...........God Bless