I found a girl who is almost perfect... we think alike, we like the same things, we enjoy doing the same things, eating the same, our habits are similar and lifestyle... physically we are so wonderful together... but...
we had a really bad start. I was at the end of my relationship when I met her, and she was still in a 3 year relationship. we started to get close and did things while she still had a b/f. (which i insisted she break up before we go any further). obviously she didn't and kept on doing this while keeping her b/f for 4 months. finally she broke up. later on i found out she cheated on him with another guy besides me. she thinks i cheated on her too.
anyways there are obviously trust issues here. is there any way to get past this? this is what kills us... we both don't completely trust each other and i know relationships are based on trust. any way to get past this? has anyone else gotten past trust and worked it out? will she always be a cheater?
2007-03-08 19:22:45 · 22 answers · asked by Mike 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She cheated on her b/f before me... not during we were going out.
My main question... has anyone gotten past this and had a relationship where the person became loyal? And if so how?
I know it seems impossible her being a cheater, but I have to ask because I feel in every other way she is right for me. sad but true.
2007-03-08 19:34:58 · update #1
btw... its been 1 year since i met her and still have been trying to work it out. she broke up with her b/f 8 months ago. she told me she has never cheated on me... but I have no clue obviously...
2007-03-08 19:39:28 · update #2
so apparently no one has had a successful story?
she did not cheat on me, but on her ex (twice).
so the question is can it work?
obviously there are people out there who have cheated before... what is it that made you settle down and never cheat again? I guess only someone who has cheated can answer this...
2007-03-08 19:43:05 · update #3
i suppose as long as you dont trust each other...no.
when you decide to renew your faith in each other and make a fresh start...you can breath and start focusing on each other and treating each other kindly, lovingly. those old feelings will fade from memory as long as you continue to move forward in a good way for each other. when two people meet that arent completely free from a previous relationship...there will be a bad start. Ive only experienced that 'bad start' thing youre talking about once in my life. I wish my perfect guy would have had faith in me and give it a chance. well, good luck to you. peace
2007-03-08 19:42:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most common reply would be once a cheater, always a cheater is not true. When one cheats they are filling a void. The void more than likely could have been filled and possibly no one would have cheated. For example, if one doesnt feel as attracted to the other and needs more "entertaining" or more"sex appeal" or feels ...they need to talk to the other about this. You may pull away form your s/o and they may not understand why especially if there is no real discussion over the real issue.
The cheating has now happened. If you really love each other, you can and will remain faithful to one another if and onl if you have an open line of communication. You never know what the other is actually thinking or feeling until you talk. If you quit on each other by walking away or cheating without discussing why yyou felt this was the thing to do. Some people are not as experienced with sex as you may think they are and may just need a little "guidance" in this area. For sure, you have to talk about what you like, dislike, want, fantasize about.
2007-03-09 03:40:02 · answer #2 · answered by HopeURLuvinLife2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO NO NO NO
RED FLAG!
You both have issues. It is never ever OK to cheat. It isn't healthy and it isn't normal by any stretch.
Once a cheater always a cheater. Just today in my sociology class my professor went off on a rant that in his 30 years of marriage counseling he has never seen a relationship recover from cheating. Do you see where I am going with this?
She only looks "perfect" now because it's the beginning of the relationship, we all know how that crap goes. You're a smart guy, move on. You'll find someone more emotionally stable and WITH BETTER MORALS. You were, in a way, right to tell her she had to break up with her boyfriend before you two moved on. But, she didn't, did she? See anything wrong with that?
Do you REALLY think you could put those trust issues behind you? Answer that question to yourself, be honest. Be realistic.
2007-03-09 03:31:56 · answer #3 · answered by THUB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Holy crap dude! She cheated on her boyfriend with you -- and some other guy at the same time - which means she also cheated on you!!
You both have major trust issues, and no matter how compatible you may be otherwise, this issue alone will tear the relationship apart!
Cheaters cheat, liars lie... they may change, but I don't think so in this case!
Go find someone new without having to rip them from another relationship!!
Good Luck, Bra!
Aloha!!
2007-03-09 03:28:26 · answer #4 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ususally there is no way to get past that... once a cheater, always a cheater. Only solution I see is to be friends with benefits if you both are single, and don't rush into a relationship... see if she "cheats" on you then. If she doesn't, then that is a good start.
2007-03-09 03:29:17 · answer #5 · answered by WTF 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to pass this trust issue. If you both like each other for one obvious purpose carry on. Long term relation or getting married to each other is out of the question. And if you want to forget this issue, start dating another girl or to a girl who is her good friend (nice looking)
2007-03-09 03:32:25 · answer #6 · answered by funxxxnxxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way to move forward, is for u both to say what y'all where doing before officially being with each other. Except it then move on. Like starting a clean slate or something.
I have also started a relationship like that before, and that's what we did...it worked for 2years..then guess what happened...nevermind, that ain't gonna help u in this case.
2007-03-09 03:39:25 · answer #7 · answered by Phoenix21 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't it obvious? First of all, she cheated on her boyfriend with you. AND she cheated on him with another guy. What makes you think you won't be next? She will just cheat on you too! Once a cheater, always a cheater. Move on!
2007-03-09 03:26:40 · answer #8 · answered by His Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a day off .Have a straight talk and openly tell what you have to say. similarly as her if she has anything to say as you have said. Tell that you have decided to wipe the slate clean and start a fresh. ask her if she can do the same .if she is ready go ahead . One imporant thing is never take up a past issue when you have diffrence of opinion in future and as her to do the same.
2007-03-09 03:31:45 · answer #9 · answered by anand_e_j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people cheat out of bordom loneliness never cause they want to cheat . Trust also is earned so understand that if she cheated to be with she will possibly cheat to go as well. Send her packing with a wet jaw.
2007-03-09 03:37:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋