I have been doing some serious soul searching...can you help?

Question

My boyfriend of 7 years on and off, mostly on..we do not live together because of different values with raising my kids, my son leaves home in 6 years and we were planning to get a house together. This actually has been the best year with him, I feel, then the past. I know that in the past he has cheated (actually had sex) with other women while we were still together, He denied of course and then he fessd up. I thought I had worked through the heart break, and he, of course promised never again. Well...today I went to his house while he was at work, which is ok with him because he gave me a key. well, with a little snooping, because he has been acting a little indifferent...I found 3 condoms hidden. We stopped using them 6 years ago, and I know that when he had cheated before he used condoms, because that is how I found out a time before. Hey I am a neat, professional, cute gal and just wanted to really believe this would really never happen again. Hey guys.what should I do?

thank you all so much I really am hurting inside, but I am glad you all cemented it for me

Answer 1

I'm in a similar situation myself. I agree with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" theory. I wish you the best of luck..but I have a feeling (like me), your gut is telling you what you should do!

Good Luck!!!

Answer 2

No matter how long you have been with him and how much you love him you shoudn't be with him if he's cheating. Give one chance the first time but after that he should not get a third. You and your kids deserve better than for you to be with a cheater. If he's done it more than once and you know about it then you need to kick him to the curb like a bad habit. He's not worth the heart ache and pain. You can do better girl.

Answer 3

Say 'buh-bye!" This guy is a liar. You can't trust him. It's great that you were willing to try again, but it's not going to work. I think you knew that before you found the condoms.

But, hey, at least he practices safe sex. However, you deserve better. You know he has different values, now you need to find someone who shares your values, including honesty and faithfullness. Don't settle for less.

Answer 4

This sounds a bit crazy to me - he won't move in with you because of different values raising your son, but he'll move in with you once he's gone? Sounds like a load of crap to me! And just to prove that, you've caught him in the past and you've just caught him again - I presume both times you found evidence at his place? Why do you think he keeps a place for himself??????
7 years is a long time to give to someone, but I think it's time you moved on and found someone who will love you and your kids for who and what you are and believe!!!!
Easier said than done, I know, but you need to do it!
Good Luck!
Aloha!!

Answer 5

Toughie. i could have stated that what made somebody a individual of their very own authentic could be something like conciousness, or the potential to function a minimum of independantly. it may could be something that ought to encompas a individual in a "vegetative" state too so as that we appreciate their humanity. A face all by skill of itself as a genetic mutation does no longer make the case for a separate soul, till there replaced right into a separate concepts. If the guy had one soul, then it may be impossible for the two heads/faces to act in opposition. the certainty that they could act in opposition could point out extra effective than one awareness and subsequently extra effective than one soul. As how? you acquire me there. i think of I could fall lower back on my inventory-everyday answer of "God made the guy so God gets to return to a determination how many souls." I in simple terms love questions like those that make me think of, somewhat whilst my international this morning has consisted of nappies, kitchen responsibilities and a hefty little bit of house household initiatives. It facilitates shop my concepts going.

Answer 6

if someone cheats its very possible for them to do it again, especially if they feel they "got away with it", another question you should ask yourself is do you know for sure that he has, if not i would be straight with his and ask him, and if he seems offended that you would think he would do that, make a point of bringing up the fact that he has before and that you want him so be up front with you, sometimes after being with someone for any length of time you may feel that you don't want to give up the life style that you are used to having when you are with him, but in the end there has got to be someone that can love you and you alone, period.

Answer 7

Either you're dumb as dirt or there are NO other men available where you live! Dump this chump! You need to put a higher value on yourself - why are you even subjecting yourself to this slime ball? He means you NO GOOD!!!! Don't you deserve better? Or are you desperate?

BTW, You ought NOT to be having unprotected sex with him - he's a creep! What if you get pregnant? EWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Answer 8

Ask yourself if you're ok with him having occasional sex with other women. If you are - then no problem, just keep doing what you're been doing. If you're not - then you have little choice but to leave him. He's not going to change his ways for you. If you want to stay in this relationship, you need to accept his quirks and pecularities (which, in his case, include having sex with other women).

Answer 9

U already know. But I don't know why it took so long for the two of u to click. Probably some faults of both. Without more data/info I can't say if he, if there is one, had a good reason to wander.

Answer 10

Sorry to say it but once a cheater, always a cheater. I know someone who keeps "changing" but his wife keeps ctaching him. He's been pulling that cycle through 20 years of marriage. Run away as quickly as you can.