should i be concerned if wether or not my girl really loves me?

Question

every time i tell my girl that i love her she always replies "i know". she has never said once that she loves me but i'm not sure if i should ask her about that, because that might make me look insecure and she has told me that's why she has dumped her boyfriends of the past be they were too insecure. she's funny and really cool to hang out with but we've been dating for about 10 months now and she's never said i love you. should i be concerned?

Answer 1

no...dont be concerned..she probably is testing 2 see if u r insecure or is afraid to say it because of her past...so long as she acts like she loves u n is loyal 2 u there is nothin 2 worry about

Answer 2

There are a number of things to consider here. Firstly, your girlfriend may just have difficulty saying the words "I love you" ... she may not have said them before, she may be concerned about the implications of saying them. Just because someone "says" the words, don't necessarily mean that mean it either - and also, not everyone means the same thing by saying them. One place to look is at her behaviour - does she behave in a loving way towards you ? That can often be more meaningful than the words themselves. Secondly, as for the insecurity, it doesn't make you "insecure" to express your feelings and concerns - it's a brave move. Having said that, if she is uncomfortable with the "love you discussion" she may use your feelings as an excuse to leave the relationship - so tread easy - don't make it about her (e.g Why don't you say you love me etc)... keep it to being about yourself (e.g I feel unsure about how you feel about me etc)...
A third point, and bear in mind that you know your girlfriend and I don't, is that she may be "game playing" (It's unlikely I imagine) - out of habit - you mention that she dumped all her previous boyfriends because they were "insecure" - possibly she gets some payoff from making people feel insecure by continously letting them say "I love you" and answering with "I know".. until eventually they can't bear it and confront her ?
Last point - no doubt you are getting bored now ha ha - is that when you express your feelings for someone, it is supposed to be just that... your feelings..and how you are feeling at the moment you express them. It's is not supposed to be in order to hear the same thing back from them... it's supposed to be an unconditional expression ... for you, to let them know how You are feeling. If you want to know how They are feeling - then you should ask... bearing in mind of course that if they are not feeling the same way at that point in time, you may not get the answer you are seeking.

Answer 3

Just because you say something doesn't make you insecure. I think you should ask her if she loves you. Maybe she does and it's hard for her to say it because of being hurt in the past or whatever reason. Then again she might not love you. You will never know unless you ask. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Talk to her.

Answer 4

It sounds like she's afraid to let her guard down. She may have had some bad relationships and is trying to move slower this time. If everything else is going well, I wouldn't worry too much. However if the relationship, goes longer than two years I would be concerned. Good Luck.

Answer 5

She sounds afraid. I had a boyfriend who was similar to this. I think she sounds like she is afraid you are trying to put her in a cage. You do need to confront her about her phobia of the 'L' word. If she gets scared and accuses you of being insecure, that's too bad. She may not like being questioned but we all have to endure things we don't like sometimes - it's a part of life. You need to confront her for your own sanity aswell! You have a right to know whether you are wasting your time in this relationship or not. Bite the bullet! I hope things work out for you.

Answer 6

Maybe she's just not ready for that yet. It's pretty massive. I think it would take me a long time to be able to say it.

To tell someone that you love them puts you in a vulnerable position, not only with your partner, but you have to admit to yourself how attached you are. Know what I mean?

Maybe she already does love you but she's unable to acknowledge it yet or is scared to admit that she's this vulnerable to someone.

I think pushing the situation will only make it worse. Let her say it in her own time. If she loves you, you will be able to FEEL it, you will KNOW it inside, not just from words. If you know that she loves you, then just wait until she's ready to actually say it.

If you're not sure whether she loves you or not, maybe you should start thinking about finding someone who will love every single little thing about you.

Answer 7

No you shouldn't be concerned about it. When my fella told me he loved me for the first time, I couldn't help but laugh at him and tell him to wise up. That sounds really awful but it took me by surprise. It wasn't until a few months later when I nearly lost him that I realised how deeply i felt. Perhaps you girlfriends needs to realise what a lovely fella she has.

xx

Answer 8

Dude. Words don't mean anything. Its her actions you should be looking out for. If she shows through her actions she loves you then that is what matters.

Is she affectionate and a giver? ( we are not talking presents here ) but stuff like backrubs. Does she do stuff for you like you do for her? or is she a taker. These are some of the questions you should ask yourself and then you will have your answer

Answer 9

To some people the words "I love you" mean a lot. I waited 4 years once to hear it from someone. Don't worry about 10 months, if she didn't care, then she wouldn't be there.

Answer 10

if she didnt love you or even like you would she still be with you after 10 months something must be right dnt worry so much or else you might make agood thing bad enjoy your time together and dont dwell on what ifs.