How to stop breastfeeding my 18 month old.....??????HELP!!!!?

Question

My 18 month old passifies to sleep.. That is the only way he ever falls asleep without crying histarically. I am so done with this how do I change this??? He eats solids and drinks milk he juts uses it to comfort himself to sleep.?????what do I do?????

Answer 1

The person above is correct. They will cry when they don't get what they want because even at that young age they know that mommy would rather give in than listen to them cry. It is hard to listen to them cry, but you have to set boundries or he will walk all over you.

Answer 2

It is perfectly fine to let your baby cry himself to sleep. He needs to learn how to comfort himself and go to sleep on his own. I know this can be hard, but I have successfully done this 3 times. With my first child, it was very hard. I had read the links form Dr. Sears and I later decided this was not the right approach. The woman who breastfed her child until she was 40 months may have had an independent daughter, but so do many people who let their kids cry a few nights. Using the breast to fall asleep is fine when they're young, but not necessary as they mature.

I would definitely talk to your child about this. Let him know that he is a big boy and that big boys drink from cups and not from Mommy. Explain that big boys go to sleep on their own. Then give him many hugs and kisses, a favorite blanket or stuffed animal and explain to him that you are going to leave the room. With my eldest I made the mistake of staying in there and rubbing her back until she fell asleep. Once you do this, he will rely on this to help him go to sleep. Best bet is to just leave the room and let him put himself to sleep. He should adjust within a week or less. He will be happy and so will you. This is just part of growing up and letting him cry is not going to make him feel that you no longer love him. I know it's hard, but you will be so glad you did.

Answer 3

Sometimes you just have to take control of the situation and stop trying to comfort them. We used the "cry it off" technique with our son when he turned 1 and it was rough but worked for us; some parents don't like the idea...I'm just saying that it worked for us and when we put our now 3 year old son to bed he just goes to bed and has ever since he was 1 year 1 month old.

I do think you need to make your breasts unavailable no matter what and find a technique that works for you where your son can go to bed independently in the future. Like I said, the "cry it off" technique was rough for a few weeks but we have never had to lay with our son for hours to get him to sleep or bring him into our bed at night. Each to their own for bedtime techniques but breastfeeding at 18 months is not good for either of you. Best wishes to you.

Answer 4

check out this book Good night, sleep tight.
she really goes into all of this stuff.
Mostly i would say let them cry they will eventually go to sleep.
but I'm sure the women who wrote this book has a less traumatic way to wean your baby!
good luck!

Answer 5

Why do you want to stop? Your baby seems to not be ready. you do know he will stop on his own one day right? He needs that comfort for now and it is very biologically appropriate for an 18 month old to nurse far more often that yours does.

My daughter nursed to sleep for her first 2 years and then gradually gave it up by her third year. She self-weaned at 40 months and is now a happy, healthy, fiercely independent 10 y.o.

The WHO (World Health Orginization) recommends breastfeeding for AT LEAST the first 2 years.

If you are dead set on weaning, I suggest you do not torture your son as the above posters recommend. Here are some things to read to get you started:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070800.asp

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp

Answer 6

You are going to have to put your foot down and say "NO"It is not going to kill them to cry.They will eventually get over it.Just like when i weined my daughter off of her 2000000 pacifiers.I got tired of looking for them in the middle of the night,she cried for about 2 days then it was done.She doesn't even miss them.You will have to deal with the crying and begging,but it is better to deal with now then when they are 2yrs old and going through the temper tantrum phase.Good luck to you.Just be patient,and congradulate him and tell him what a big boy he is for making such a big step in his life.

Answer 7

Of course he is going to cry, hello? YOU have to stop... YOU are the PARENT, anything wrong with the child's behavior is a result of his conditioning through YOU. Sorry but it's the truth.

Answer 8

A DIFFERENT APPROACH
It's not going to be easy to stop your child breastfeeding to sleep. I have a 21 month old who still does it (but we are both still happy with it..for now anyway...).

Your baby will cry, because they are used to that way of getting to sleep and they won't understand at first why you won't 'give it to them'. You need to be certain about what you are doing and why, and to be commited to teaching them to get to sleep without that milk. I am not an advocate of the 'let them cry themselves to sleep' approach because it has seemed a little mean to our children that we have breastfed so lovingly for so long to simply say 'well now you can just cry', so I'll try to tell you what has worked for me in the past. Ok?

The easiest way is if you have someone else in the house who can help you teach your child to go to sleep without milk. Which is fine unless you are a single parent (like me...). So if there is another adult in the house who is willing to help, you need to sit down with your child and this other person and explain 'from now on Mummy can't give you any milk at bedtime, Daddy or person X is going to give you a big cuddle instead and help you get to sleep'. It's easier if it's another person so your child won't keep pulling at your clothes and crying for that milk.

So you need a bedtime routine (really important), say brush teeth, read a book, give a big cuddle and say goodnight, lights out, then let other person come in a give child a cuddle while they go to sleep. The baby will still cry a bit (of course) but eventually they will get to sleep that first night. You need to keep up this routine and gradually the child gets used to going to sleep with just a cuddle, no milk. They will cry a bit (my child cries for at most 30 seconds now then they snuggle down for a cuddle). Once your child is used to the cuddle-but-no-milk routine the other person can stop needing to do the cuddles and again you can do it. This might take a couple of weeks. The first time you are the one doing the cuddles wear a shirt that your child cannot pull down or up!! Just do the routine and give them a cuddle to sleep. It will work!

Once the child stops pulling at you and wanting milk and can just get to sleep with a cuddle you can easily start to slowly change the routine so you don't always need to be there while they go to sleep.

At first you might just sit there with them, not a cuddle, maybe just a hand on their back, when they are happy with that you might just sit on the bed not touching, then stand at the doorway, then (eventually, over a month or so) you will be able to just do the other routine, teeth brushing, read a book, cuddle and kiss goodnight then leave the room.

The most important part of this is that you keep up the first part of the routine to teach your child to get ready to go to sleep. So that they are preparing themselves for going to sleep.

If you are by yourself it is harder to do that first weaning bit. You really need to be commited to giving up that nighttime breastfeed because if you do this and then give in it is going to give your child the idea that all they have to do is scream for long enough and they will get milk. Not a good idea!!

So if you are by yourself you need to explain to your child what is going to happen, keep up that pre-bedtime routine, and then prepare yourself for a difficult few nights.

You need to wear a shirt that the child cannot lift up or pull down. You need to tell them a firm 'no you cannot have milk' and then stick to that. Give them a cuddle. They will cry and throw themselves about a bit especially the first few nights but if you are firm and consistent and don't let yourself get too stressed they will begin to understand. I have had to stay with my child as I was doing this for at least an hour before they fell asleep for the first maybe 7 days. But the crying gets less and they start to understand pretty quickly.

They also realise that you can love them and cuddle them and give them affection without giving them milk. I think that is really important because breastfed babies naturally associate milk with affection. It's a 'milky cuddle' as my little one calls it.

If you choose to do it this way you need to be commited to it because it involves more time on your part than simply chucking the child in a cot to cry. I never had the stomach to do that and I'm glad now because I have shown my children that I love and nurture them even while I'm giving up breastfeeding.

I hope some of this helps, even if you just pick ideas out of it that have worked for you.

PSST ALSO helpful to have a water bottle nearby when you are first giving up the milk so when they start pulling at you for milk you can say 'are you thirsty? want some water' and they usually have a drink and stop hassling for a little while at least!

Hope this helps...

GOOD LUCK :)

Answer 9

TAKE HIM TO THE STORE AND LET HIM PICK OUT A SIPPY CUP FOR HIS MILK. AND JUST STOP GIVING HIM YOUR MILK. FOR ME IT WAS AN EMOTIONAL WEAN. I WAS SAD BUT HAPPY FOR HER THAT SHE WAS GROWING UP. I NURSED FOR 1 YEAR AND TWO WEEKS. AFTER, SHE HAD THE BOTTLE FOR 5-6 MONTHS AND SIPPY CUPS AFTER. GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

you just have to stop, you have to let him him cry its the only way, i know it will hurt you but it has to be done. try giving him a sippy cup