What do you do about a brother that you can't stand?

Question

I was just wondering if anyone had an idea about what to do, to sorta not let my brother get to me. Well for starters, he's uh.........hmmmmmmmm...... how do you say.............proud of himself? like, he's up on a high horse, and he aaaaiiin't comin' down for nobody, unless he so pleases that is. He says he's the mature one and everyone looks up to him, he's 17 and he claims he's gonna marry his girlfriend of 1 month or so, that lives on the otherside of the country. I have to stay up every night because one of his internet friends has issues. I have to share a room with him. He says everyone looks up to him and that he takes everyone under his wing, when really, he's not 'qualified' to take on such a job. He says he's everything he's not. What do I do? I don't hate him, but I just want a way to be able to block my anger towards him away, because I know one day he'll change, and I don't want to hate him so much before then.

Answer 1

There will probably be a dozen answers before I finish, but never mind. Your question deserves a thoughtful answer. It sounds to me like your brother is just all "puffed up." Don't let that bother you! You don't have to "hate" him, but you don't have to "like" him, either. Sounds like--for now, you just have to "tolerate" him. Woudn't that be best? Like, don't waste your energy? I don't understand about what you mean--staying up every night because one of his internet friends has "issues." Do you think it's possible you're "taking on" more than you really need to? Just speculation, sweetie. The more of an issue you make of it, (in your own mind), the harder it will get. Let him be on his "high horse." So what? You are who you are; think about THAT. Honestly, you can choose to be angry with him or not. It's truly up to you. But why waste your energy on this? Maybe he'll "change," & maybe he won't, but, bottom line, it doesn't really make that much difference. I have a sister who is a PAIN IN THE POT to everyone. She doesn't "bother" me a bit. (I don't have to share a room with her, though!) Just try to take it easy--you're only upsetting yourself, because it sounds like he couldn't care less. Please think about this?

Answer 2

You need to face this head on and get the anger out. Trust me, if you don't it only gets worse and will come out in a bad way. I have a younger brother and in my case he'll always be son #1 to the parents. He's rich, has a hot wife, 3 great kids, nice house, travels the world, etc. I'm the outsider son who just can't get it together and nobody cares about. The first part is crap because I've done quite well for myself (thank you very much). My family is severely disfunctional and at times my brother is an a*****e. So I try to compartementalize this and move on (make sense?).

Answer 3

People like your brother want others to think that he has it 'altogether'. He wants to put himself in a place that is not rightfully his. The reason he is portraying himself the way he is,is because he really sees you as the stronger between the two of you. He is repeating the mantra of his superiority because he is using it to hide his feelings of inferiority. He is jealous of you. He probably extols his virtues and downplays yours. People of his sort are know-it-alls and anyone who does not agree with him is wrong. As a matter of fact, they get angry for the simple reason being that you have the audacity to 'insult their intelligence'. He is competing with you. In reality he wants to be like you. But due to his pride,instead of complimenting you on your virtues, he uses reverse psychology to elevate himself to a lofty status and in the next breath puts you down. He is working to lower your self-esteem and thus make you feel the same size he REALLY feels. Don't argue with him. Nor should you stay around him if he tries to belittle you. I suppose there are those who admire him but not everybody 'looks up to him'. When he 'acts out', understand the underlying reason he acting the way he does.

Answer 4

oh man. i used to share a room with my sister. sharing a room is wrong. if you werent forced into this unnatural invasion of personal space i bet he wouldnt get on your nerves so much. could you curtain off half the room? use headphones alot even if you are just playing white noise..or a fan to block him out a little? separate lighting so you are not kept up by his being on internet? cut some sort of space deal where you each get time to yourselves? He is young dont take him seriously ..after you both move out of home i bet you'll get on heaps better. ohhh or a garage..can you get the garage or spare room to yourself?

Answer 5

For now I suppose all you can do is, wear ear plugs and eye covers to get to sleep!!

Isn't there any place at all in the house you can sleep?

Maybe a simple request to your parents to have the computer shut down at bedtime. SOMEONE has to think of you too!

Answer 6

I would suggest that you show him brotherly love.
He will soon understand that emotions are not always achieved by attracting this sort of attitude, or maybe you should be talking to someone closer to the family!!!

Answer 7

You are right. It's a phase he is going through. Just think, if he marries this girl, he will be gone soon.

Best thing to do is ignore him. That's what I do with my idiot brother.

Answer 8

the reason he says that he is what he really is not is because that is the way he wants to be. he may just want you to think that he is a popular person when he really is not so that he is not imbarraced.

Answer 9

It all depends. If your out of high school, just find a job and move out. If not wait then move out.

Answer 10

Be thankful that you have a brother. He's still young he will mature one day.