My Double-Standard Boyfriend?

Question

Hi everyone..I want to show this to my boyfriend to let him know he is being unfair

Me and my BF have been together for a little over a year..He thinks its okay for him to have female friends, but not okay for me to have male friends. His reasoning behind this is that he doesnt want me getting raped..(LOL)

I have no problem with him having female friends, I just think its horribly unfair that he'll destroy every single friendship I end up making with a male..I wouldnt destroy his female friendships, 2 wrongs dont make a right

He even goes as far as barging in my myspace and deleting those sexy no shirt guys from my friends list, yes they're hot but I dont want them! As if he has no bikini girls on his!! Please help me tell my man that he needs to trust me and that he needs to get over the double standard

Answer 1

Why does he have access to your my space page? Change your password instantly. Second, tell him that if it's not opposite sex friends for you, then it's none for him either. When he wants to know why, tell him women are manipulative and you don't want one of his female friends to make him break up with you. That's about as reasonable as his thinking that a male friend is going to rape you. End of discussion. Good luck.

Answer 2

Your problem isn't that he subscribes to a double standard. It's that he's entirely too controlling. He has absolutely no right or reason to interfere with your friendships. If you actually allowed him to destroy these friendships, then you're just as guilty. He is taking over your personal web page too? He is out of control. You need to establish with him the fact that you deserve respect now or this will just get worse. Sit down and tell him that you don't appreciate what he's been doing and you've given him no reason not to trust you or your friends. If he objects then you may have to seriously decide whether having a boyfriend like this is more important than having control of your own life and relationships.

Answer 3

You are wasting your time and energy with this young man. How dare he barge into your own private myspace! Does he also search through your purse? You are really borrowing trouble with a man who is so controlling. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, grandma used to say. There are very few double standards these days, girl, only the ones you allow this big ape to force upon you. No way would I put up with this nonsense.

Answer 4

First of all you have a mind of your own, you are capable of making your own decisions!! Don't start out letting him think he can tell you what to do. He needs to trust you. The same as you trust him. Reassure him he is the only one you want. Take a photo of him all sexy and shirtless and put it in a frame next to your computer so he will see you want to look at him more than the other guys cause his pic is there all the time!!

Answer 5

Whats good for one is good for the other, he either needs to get rid of all his female friends or allow you to have mail friends. Either he trusts you or he doesnt, the rape thing is just an excuse. He sounds like he is insecure about his ability to keep you in his life and is afraid a better man will take you away.

Answer 6

Your boyfriend's insecurity is so common. I know how it feels to go through that sort of double standard. There is really only 2 ways to go: 1. you both find a happy medium, where both of you sacrifice something, or 2. you break up with him.
No one deserves to be treated like a second rate girlfriend. If he is worried that you will cheat, but allows it to seem like he could if he wants to, he is just holding power over you! Don't stand up for it!

Answer 7

if he won't let you have male friends...he is self consious...tell him that you are gonna have male friends..and if he doesn't like it..then you are gonna have to break up with him.....he sounds like an obessed freak and he doesn't trust you...He may say that he doesnt trust the other guys, but he really doesn't trust you.....you defintely have to get this resolved with him...honestly this should not be such a big deal...he is making it a big deal cause he doesn't give you any freedom...then in return it becomes a big deal cause you can't have any other guys in your life...basically he needs to do what you want...i do what my gf wants and everything works out just fine...you need to be the enforcer

Answer 8

People who can't be trusted often have trouble trusting others. Why would you want to have friends of the opposite sex that you hang out with, without him around? Same goes for him, why would he hang out with other females without you being around? Temptation and the right timing...

Answer 9

He's being manipulative and controlling. And insecure.

And don't fall for that "Oh I trust you...it's the other people I don't trust" line.

Doubt you will be able to change him. Pretty soon he might start accusing you of stuff you didn't do.

Best you can do is tell him how you really feel whenever he starts trying to control who you see and don't see.

Answer 10

Nothing you say to him will ever make him understand how rediculous he is being. But he probably knows it, and is just trying to do this so he can have his cake and you can't have yours.

Honey I would never date a man who had bikini-clad girl friends. I really wouldn't. Now's a good time to inventory this relationship before you get too deep.