I have been with my boyfriend, who has been devorced. He wanted to be open with me and told me things that he has never told anyone. He said that while he was in his marriage, which he never should have been in that lasted only 2 yrs, that the latter part of the marriage he started cheating on his wife with several women. My question is that do you think that he could cheat again given the circumstances. He met me while he was already seperated from his ex wife, we have been together now for about a year and a half, and he is ready to commit with an engagement ring.....what is going on in his head???
2007-03-08 16:10:00 · 16 answers · asked by Advice25 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If I were in your shoes I would try to figure out how much different my relationship was with this guy than his wife's was. Are you so close that you know that he is far more involved emotionally with you than he was with his wife at any time in that relationship? If you really think that the relationship that yo have with him is very different than what he has ever had than maybe e won't cheat again. If it isn't much different than his was with his wife well, he probably will.
2007-03-08 16:19:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was married (for 10 years) I cheated on my partner in the very end and I can honestly say I would never do it again if I was in a committed relationship. The difference will be that I will not put myself in a bad relationship to begin with.
Perhaps you could try to get an understanding of what was so bad about the marriage for your partner and use that to reflect on your relationship with him now. Good luck.
2007-03-09 00:22:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think a cheater would have a hard time to become a non-cheater. Also, first, find out why is he cheating before? and also in your relationship with him, is there any signs of cheating? remember TRUST is very critical in a relationship so unless you trust him, it's difficult to move on. If he is ready now to commit, he could be serious now but have open discussions with him first and until you have doubts, then dont go for it yet. make more assessment, take your time.
2007-03-09 01:05:37 · answer #3 · answered by meh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can't tell you what's going on in his head. but from the sounds of what you wrote, it seems that "given the circumstances"..yes, he would cheat. he basically let you know that, so be forewarned.
i think it's VERY rare that, with someone who would cheat, to be commited to one person for the rest of their lives. when tough times come (and there will be tough times) he doesn't have the "scrupples" to make a healthy decision.
at least, if i were you, i would wait..a long while..to see if marriage is really right for you both.
2007-03-09 00:21:56 · answer #4 · answered by annenymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While i would be careful, I would listen to my heart.I cheated on a couple of men i was with but would never cheat on my current man. I've learned from the past and do not want to repeat my mistakes. He may have changed his ways. Give him the benefit of the doubt. If you love him take him up on his offer.
2007-03-09 00:18:37 · answer #5 · answered by babyangel81981 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I had read this question 2 months ago I would have said no, but now I beleive that once they cheat on you they will do it again and it is not worth all the hurt that you have to go through.
2007-03-09 00:14:17 · answer #6 · answered by karen v 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They can change especially if they were in a marriage that wasn't meant to be. It says a lot that he admitted it to you, he didn't have to. I'd accept the ring, if you really love him but I wouldn't rush the wedding, go for a year or so engagement and keep your eyes open. GOOD LUCK
2007-03-09 00:15:46 · answer #7 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hopefully by admitting he did it in the past he doesn't plan on doing it to you. cause if he was telling you he did it i n the past would be stupid. but in my experience if they do it once they'll do it again, that is if he cheats on you once he'll do it again. honestly, i cheated on every guy I've been with until this one, which i haven't cheated in the almost 9 years we've been together. but he cheated on me once so far, and trying to catch him cause i think he is about to again, found out he has a profile on yahoo personals. bop hoo for me, i know i shoulda dumped him the first time. but with children involved it's a little harder. anyway, felt i had to explain myself to the ones who choose to be fatheads here. I'd trust him 100% until he gives you a reason not to. and i hope you never do!!
2007-03-09 00:19:09 · answer #8 · answered by heather l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. There's some reason he feels the need to cheat and until he can answer what that is he will most likely do it again.
Sorry!
2007-03-09 00:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by MissWong 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I normally would say once a cheater always a cheater but him coming clean with you means he wants your relationship with him to be open and honest
2007-03-09 00:14:10 · answer #10 · answered by iseemen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋