This happened last Tuesday… She called and said her school work is piling up, her family life is bad, she's got college ahead of her (graduating a year early), the ACT's, and she has a pap exam coming up that will determine if her HPV has cleared up or not. (It’s all the truth…I know she’s not lying) She said she’s having a crisis right now and doesn’t know what to do. She told me that she needs to take a break and get her life sorted out before she can have any sort of serious relationship. She told me it's nothing I did but it's everything going on in her life right now. That she really likes me and doesn't want to do it, but felt like she had to. She wants to try and do it single. She then said that after her stuff is sorted out, then she can think about a relationship again. Then she said she had to get off the phone to go do something, but to call her back later if I want. She'd understand if I didn't want to.
I told her I understand where she's coming from and everything, but I'm completely bummed out. I later called her back because she wanted me to do and we talked for a little bit but I was really quiet. I told her that I’m still here to talk if you want in the future. She said okay and about 5 minutes later she had to go do some homework. She then said “I’ll talk to you tomorrow if you want”…and I haven’t talked to her since Tuesday.
Should I continue going no contact or should I talk to her? I want to help her through her problems but I also don’t want it to hinder a future relationship. Maybe no contact is the best option? It’s just so tough. I don’t know if she still wants me to be there for her for support or not.
I mean, she still likes me…but she’s so busy right now.
Btw...it's been 2 months.
Also...she has had a terrible past. She was raped (when she was 13), got pregnant before by her ex bf and he beat her until she had a miscarriage (when she was 16), did drugs, alcohol, all that. She's 17 and I'm 18 now.I told her that I'd still be there for her and accept her for who she is now...which is a great person. She told me I was the greatest guy in the world for that.
I think she still has feelings for me, but she really just needs to get some stuff in her life done. I'm not sure if I should still be there for her or not for the time being.
2007-03-08 15:25:29 · 8 answers · asked by Clarence J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't fall for this crap.
Here's the deal. EVERYONE knows that the best excuse ever to break off a relationship is to say that things are getting hectic and that you might have time in the future.
That being said, wouldn't it make MORE sense for a girl with all these things going on to have you (who loves her) take care of her and be a shoulder for her to cry on?
Truth is, she's either interested in someone else, or she knows she doens't want to date while she is in college.
Your best bet is to chill with close guy friends and hang out with them to take your mind off of it. Don't go sleeping with every chick you can, but hook up if you want to. She isn't coming back.
2007-03-08 15:32:11 · answer #1 · answered by funtasticfool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. Let me say this: I admire you for even thinking about it. You sound like a really good person at heart.
This may seem selfish, but what you need to do is decide what is best for YOU. She has made a decision, and you must respect it. It is an opportunity for you, however, to decide what YOU want in life! The "I'm busy" excuse is nothing but just that: an excuse. She does not want a real relationship with you, or it would be a priority for her. Get on with your life. Go out with your friends. Go to school. Work. Have some fun. Be yourself. When you feel up to it, then date. Do not worry about your ex-girlfriend for right now. She made the decision to break it off, not you.
Then, if she does call and you are willing and able, go ahead and talk to her. If you find someone else, then tell her so. But don't feel pressured. You'll know in your heart if getting back together with her is the right thing for you. Believe it or not, that is the best thing for BOTH of you. If she is not the best thing in the world for YOU, then you are NOT the best thing in the world for HER! Be there for her as a friend if necessary, but otherwise move on. She's a big girl, despite her problems, and you are not responsible for her life. Only she is. You can be her friend without being her boyfriend. It sounds to me like that is all she wants right now from you, if anything at all.
Good luck!
2007-03-08 23:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand where she is coming from, I have and had the same kinda things. She doesn't want a relationship right now because she has all this other stuff going on that she doen't have time to devote to the relationship that she feels it needs.
What she really needs right know is a friend. You need to call her see how things are going, ask how she is feeling, tell her she call talk to you if she needs someone to talk to. She if she needs help studying. Do whatever you can to help her through this. I am sure she is scared. I have HPV, it can cause cancer, depending on what strand she has. I have already had cervical cancer once, and I am scared out of my mind, and I am 25.
She really just needs a friend right now.
2007-03-08 23:36:17 · answer #3 · answered by blebert2002 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you sound like a really great guy. Your doing a good job of analyzing your situation. I think you should still keep her as a friend cause obviously you care about her. keep in contact once a week, dont expect her to call you all that much if shes really busy. Shes got alot on her plate right now and she really did make a good decision to break it off. Im sure that once things settle down in her life, youll be the first person she calls.
2007-03-08 23:34:59 · answer #4 · answered by JUDAS RAGE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww poor .. :[ . yeah just give it some time, maybe check up on her once a month or so and ask her how shes doing... she might even realize that she needs you once she sees how much you care about her.. (not that you didnt care before). Shes had a tough life and she probably just doesnt want you as one more thing to worry about. (not worry in a bad way, but worry as in focusing on making a good relationship with you). giive it time hun. pray and see what god wants you to do from here.
2007-03-08 23:33:20 · answer #5 · answered by gina_d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should cut contact. Give her space like she has asked. She may then realise she is better with you than without you. If she calls then talk to her then.
2007-03-10 14:20:55 · answer #6 · answered by Littleblonde-kacey is here 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well she needs someone who cares to be there...who she knows she can call...
if all that stuff happened in her past she may have troubles with telling u that she really wants u in her life but is scared...
if u love her call her!
2007-03-08 23:31:51 · answer #7 · answered by ifunky_monkey13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should cut off contact if you can't just be there as someone for her to talk to about her problems
2007-03-08 23:30:32 · answer #8 · answered by lata 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋