am i a bad person?

Question

o.k, so i had a crush on this girl 4 years, she was 6 years older than me, and italian (my favorite), anyways i asked her out and she told me she was married, but would love to have coffiee with me. Anyways we had coffee a few times, and she was texting me like 30 times a day (her hubby is a doctor- so their loaded with cash, but is never around) and well, she asked if i would make out with her..which i did (i didnt feel the best bout it, but i did it, so i couldnt of felt that bad) and then we were intimate 2gether a couple of times. This lasted for a couple of months, but now we hardly speak to each other.. Honestly, i only wanted to be friends with her and i kind of feel used by her cause now were not the 'best friends' we promised to be... she told me she regrets it and wish it never happened and i'm sure she's told bad things about me to another girl (single girl) who i told her i really liked... is that karma?

Answer 1

You need to move on...

Answer 2

You are not a bad person. You made a mistake (with this woman's help) and that just makes you human.

Unfortunately, you learned the hard way that once you've become intimate with someone you've been friends with, everything changes. When the intimacy stops it's very difficult to remain friends.

I think you feel very guilty about the whole thing and are assuming she's told someone else you like bad things about you. Unless you have proof of that, my guess is that you're just guilt-tripping yourself and thinking, what goes around comes around, and well, what went around has come around to ruin your chances with this other girl.

It would be bad karma if you were to think badly of the married woman or assume she has said something to hurt your chances with her single friend. Good karma would be to understand that she is lonely and bored by life with a man who has everything to give her but his time. For a short time you gave her (among other things) your time and admiration; made her feel important.

My advice, my friend, is to forgive yourself for this mistake you were caught up in and apparently were encouraged to get caught up in. You can't changed what happened, so forgive yourself, vow to do your best not to make the same mistake again, and then just let it go. Now that's all good karma.

A good way to let it go would be to ask that single girl out for a date. If she refuses, don't assume that the other girl bad-mouthed you. You simply may not be her type. Then let that go too and get out there and date for a while. You'll eventually find the one you're looking for.

Your karma is just fine, my friend, because you obviously have a conscience.

Remember, sometimes fate takes a hand in things too, offering just the right set of circumstances to encourage the wrong decision. Take heart also in the knowledge that we are all exactly where we're supposed to be when we're supposed to be there. Yes, it was morally wrong, but the universe put you there for a reason. The reason for the mistake? A lesson you needed to learn. Now go forth and prove to yourself what a smart guy you are...:)

Answer 3

Well hon, you had an affair with a married woman. Does that make you a bad person? No. But you did compromise your morals. Ok. Lesson learned. The fact that you feel bad about it, says it all. But ask yourself, do you feel bad NOW because she ended it and you are forced to deal with the consequences of your own conscience.. or were you feeling bad about it while the affair was going on?

This does not make you a bad person, on the contrary you are now wiser. Chalk it up as a learning experience. And ask God to forgive you for committing adultry. Don't beat yourself up. If there is some other person you are interested in and she has caught wind of your affair. Tell her you made a mistake, but take a check of your own moral inventory and ask yourself what would cause you to be in this position in the first place. First RED FLAG, a married woman is calling you and spending time with you. Be wiser next time hon and pay attention to the red flags in the future.

Answer 4

Well sweetie....it does seem like you were used. This woman knew you liked her and took advantage of your feelings. Still doesn't excuse the actions you took with her though. Don't blame yourself...we all have done things we knew we shouldn't be WE ARE HUMAN! Anyway...I think the woman is childish if she went back and told the girl you like what happened. Be sure to know that she put it in terms that didn't look so good for you...it is a woman thing. I think you better move on without both of them. Maybe you want to tell the single girl your side and tell her that she can make the decision and leave it at that. MOVE ON for while though or you will go crazy. Hang in there!!

Answer 5

No u are not the most bad person here. u are not attached and i think u are right she used u. Shes not getting much attention from the hubby so she used u for that attention. Its hard to be "just friends" with someone u have a crush on and i think that is the mistake that u made by taking it further than friends. She cant be with u so she doesnt want anyone else to have u so she may have said negative things about u. If she did then she is not your friend and i think u should move on away from her

Answer 6

Sounds to me like she was very lonely & needing attention from her husband, then found that she got the attention she needed from you. She felt guilty, so she stopped. Of course she feels uncomfortable enough that she doesn't talk to you as much! She's married! I have to be honest... you were what I like to call a temporary bandaid. She didn't know how to get what she needed from her husband... maybe she didn't even know she needed anything. You temporarilly made her feel better about her needs in her situation. Then she realized it could possibly cause her far more trouble than she really wanted in her life. The problem is, she may have talked to this girl about the things she did with you. Friends don't like to fool around with guys their friends have already fooled around with. You may not have a choice. But seriously, do you really think it's the best thing to kind of flaunt an other relationship in her face? Maybe she liked you, but it does take a while to get over something like that! Maybe she just didn't want to see you with someone else (even if it wasn't right of her to fool around with you while she was married in the first place).

Answer 7

Sorry..but that sounds like Karma. I think u shouldn't have slept with her...but u can always explain to her that what is done, is done and that u need her as a friend(make sure she understands this term) to move forward. why didn't u go to this single girl in the first place?? Try to be her(single girl) also..so even if your married friend said somethings you can eliminate the negative comments from her mind. Just some thoughts..good luck!

Answer 8

Hmmm...you are not a bad person. Ok yes, it is bad to sleep with married women even though her hubby isn't around alot. Older women can be manipulative. And if you're a guy who likes older AND Italian (like myself. I LOVE EM), then you can't help but fall. Just take it as a lesson learned. If anything, she is the bad one for leading you to cheat on her husband with you.

Answer 9

You are not a bad person.
It's a shame that things went the way they did. She made some bad choices as far as her marriage is concerned, & when push comes to shove she's decided to toe the line & stay in her marriage.
That would explain why she's kind of cut you off.
I doubt that you would be able to turn back the clock on this one since she will always feel guilty whenever she is around you.

Chalk this one up to experience & move on. ;-)

Answer 10

She sure used you but you were happy to go along for the ride, so to speak. Just put it down to experience and forget about her. To help, just think what she has done to her husband as well. He is working hard for his family and she is fooling around with you. Imagine you get together with her, what do you think she will be doing when you are out their working hard? Find someone of your own who you can love and trust and who loves and trusts you.

Answer 11

Yeah you did the wrong thing, but it doesnt make you a bad person. Learn from your mistakes, and yes I do believe its karma.