My 4 year old goes to a small town kindy of 10 children. There is only 2 other boys the rest are girls. The boys tease him by calling him names and saying they hate him. Now a little girl from the class is having a birthday party and has invited everyone from Kindy except my son. I am worried about his self esteem and I'm now considering moving him to a Kindy at another town. It's only a 10 min drive away and there are several Kindy's to choose from each with a min of 40 children. My husband and mother think I'm over reacting and if I move him then I'm just running away from the problem and who's to say there won't be even bigger problems at another Kindy. If I keep him at this Kindy he will also spend the next 7 years at school with these children. He likes his teacher and she has tried to help, however she can only do so much. Should I move him or stay? Any advise.
2007-03-08 14:38:07 · 8 answers · asked by gillywobble 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
as you well know kids are cruel and have no fear on how they hurt someone until the same thing is done to them. there are always groups that stick together wherever you go but being from where you are there is not many choices for your son to choose from. do not feel bad that he was not invited to the party cuz from the sounds of it he would have been miserable and they probably would have teased him anyway. (who is teaching these kids to be cruel anyway are they not to young for this) (it has to stem from the homes) you sound like a great mom who is concerned so i would be happy that my child is not acting like them. moving him to a new school could be great for him but being that he has gone through what he has already he might crawl into a shell and be afraid to meet anyone else and might be afraid to meet new friends.so if you are going to move him i would do it sooner then later before his shell becomes bigger. he might like his teacher but the next one could be better. he is only four so hopefully by the time he goes to kindergarten and first grade things will be better for him. think about your son and ask what he thinks you might be shocked by his answer they are smarter then we give them credit for. Good luck and my thoughts are with you and your son.
2007-03-08 15:10:04 · answer #1 · answered by tammy_martin22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has the teacher given you any in site into what she thinks may be the reason why these children are being so cruel to your son ? Has the teacher spoken with the other boys parents?
The problem is not with your son, it is with the upbringing of these other children.
Its a sad situation when four year olds engage in this kind of behavior.It doesn't seem normal, and most certainly shouldn't be condoned. However, in today's society, good manners have become a thing of the past.These things are happening more frequently.Children are a product of their upbringing and these two little boys obviously aren't being taught at home.
As for the birthday party Inviting the whole class (except one child) this a common practice these days. I see it all the time. It is rude and heartbreaking that this sort of thing happens.This has nothing to do with your child , this has everything to do with the parents of this little girl. These parents, are a terrible example for their little girl. .Your child is better off not going.
Changing schools may or may not be the answer, but beware this is going on in schools all across America. Keep teaching your son good manners, empathy, and respect towards others and he will do just fine. That's all you can do....though it hurts now, he doesn't need friends like that, he will eventually make friends that are deserving of his friendship.
2007-03-09 00:39:36 · answer #2 · answered by D.T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should move your son as soon as possible as if he is not comfortable at school and has no friends this can negatively impact on him with his learning and self esteem. This can cause him to have issues in his adult years as he will always feel like an out-sider. Children can be quite mean and you want the best for your son. Dont let him suffer as he spends majority of his time at school with these children and not with you. Dont think about what other people think in respect of him staying at this particular school. Do right by him as he will benefit greatly, they are not in his and your situation. Feeling like an outcast is not a nice thing, picture this happening to you at your work place, would you remain in you department being unhappy or would you try to get a transfer or find another job. Driving a bit more in the mornings is nothing much to do if it will benefit your son. hope this helps
2007-03-08 22:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by Indian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult situation. How long has this been going on? In some situations this can be temporary but for others it can last. When there are three, like the three boys in his class, there is always one that is left out.
Children who are in bigger classes tend to fare better. He is more likely to meet somebody who he can be friends with. There is also a bit of protection in a large class against bullies. In a small class, it is hard to hide from them.
I am appalled at the birthday party. Have you talked to her mother? I would be amazed if she realized that the whole class minus one was invited.
Your son is blessed to have a loving mother like you. I pray things will work out for your family.
2007-03-08 22:44:21 · answer #4 · answered by Laura H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stick it out, it's a valuable lesson for him. Plus kids are wary of newness and change it'll give the other kids more of a chance to get to know him. Consider throwing a party yourself (like a St. Patty's day Party, Easter, Spring party) and invite all the kids to the park or something, plan lots of fun and games, it'll give your son a chance to interact with the kids outside of school, you a chance to get to know the other parents and you'll be able to observe your childs interactions. Maybe he's really shy and has trouble engaging and you could help learn how or maybe he comes off as a bully or know it all and you can help him there as well.
2007-03-09 14:56:31 · answer #5 · answered by stargirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about this. I would probably switch schools to a bigger school. 3 is an odd number and it can be tough. Someone always gets left out. If you dont want to switch schools, you can try to make an effort to play with these other kids outside of school to help build their friendships (I would suggest this even if you do decide to switch schools). It's important for kids to be able to relate to one another outside of school too. Try getting him into a sport or other activity too. Good luck.
2007-03-09 17:57:22 · answer #6 · answered by trevnme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the final decision is up to you and it should be what's best for the child. There should'nt be any harm in moving him. Try the move and see what happens it may not be the other kids, it may be him. he may be extremely shy around the other kids.
2007-03-08 22:55:39 · answer #7 · answered by bree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww, what a shame. Just trying to see it from your son's point of view, I think moving to a new, bgger school might be good for him.
2007-03-08 22:44:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋