My girlfriend lives in another state, and can't decide on a closer guy or me.?

Question

Ok. So, I live in Kansas. My girlfriend lives in Alabama. We grew up together since we were 3. When I moved we lost contact and hadn't seen or talked to each other in 7 years. We didn't know a thing about each other, or if the other was even still alive. Anyway, I found my girlfriend on myspace a little over a month ago and now that I had a way to talk to her, we started a very nice relationship. It was very hard to keep going for as long as we did, because I felt bad that I couldn't be there for her at all. Well, she had told me earlier about a guy that she liked before she re-met me, and it was cool and all, seeing as how I love hearing about her. But they broke up because they lost contact. Now she says he is back in her life, and wanted to know what she should do. We love each other very much and the most important thing to me is her happiness. Should I give up on her to let her be with this other guy, or should I try and stay with her. Like I said, he can be there for her, I can't

Answer 1

A long distance relationship is inconvenient, but if you truly love someone then love can transcend all boundaries of distance. So I think if this girl really cares for you then she will forget this other guy.

Answer 2

First of all you are too damned nice. Let's get that straight first. I hate to be harsh but I can't believe what I just read. You never allow yourself to become a choice for anybody in this world. If you don't believe that you are grade A then expect to be treated like grade C. If this girl loved you as much as you love her YOU would be her choice no matter what. Make the choice easy for her and pull out. If she loves you she will immediately come back to you. If not then you were option B from day one. Never play second fiddle to anyone. There is a good woman out there that will not be so confused about who she wants, so go out and find her. Alpha males mate with the females and the other males stay at the den and help watch the little pups. Remember that.

P.S. It's a lot better to meet women in coffee shops and libraries instead of on myspace. Not mocking you because I love myspace and 360, but don't get sucked up into a virtual world of fantasy. Kansas + Alabama = Too damned far away.

Good Luck

Tony

Answer 3

That sounds like it must be tough considering how long you've known each other. But i see two things here: 1) If a girl can't decide between you and another guy, I would just say goodbye. If she really wanted to be with you, she would. I would just feel disrespected if she "couldnt decide." 2) Like you said, he can be there for her and you can't. Being able to be next to each other and see one another is a large aspect of a relationship. I could see yall working this out if you had plans of marrying or something, but it doesnt seem that far along. So, as hard as it may be, I would move on and find someone you can really be with. Good luck!

Answer 4

well for starters you seem to have a good past with this girl, but sometimes peoples change, and as such u should realise that she probly would feel the same way. although you had a great relationship with her years ago, and it would be nice to rekindle that relationship, and love is always worth the wait. i wouldn't push her into making a decission, but i would prpare yourself for the worst outcome. some other helpful advise would be find another friend that is a girl. not necessarily a GF just someone that you can depend on. depending on whether you two make this work it sounds as though she needs a person to rely on not someone to talk to. if it was me i'd put this relationship on hold until i could be with her.

Answer 5

I think that when she asked what she should do she didn't mean whether she should take you or him. She was asking whether she should give him another chance, period. I really doubt that from the distance that you've got between you and with the fact that you hadn't talked for 7 years that she still would give things up for you. If you want to give her a real answer, take yourself out of the equation and decide whether being with the guy or being alone is best for her.

Answer 6

So you are sitting there on your rear letting her decide your future? I would say make it about you not just her. Either stand up and speak for her, forcing her to immediately choose from two viable interests and do what it takes to make it real for both of you or stand down and remove the decision from her hands. Don't let any woman keep you from being a man.

Answer 7

sounds like u truly love her and have her best interest at heart she's lucky to have u why dont u try this ......... have a long talk with her and be totally honest with her and see what she thinks u might be surprised even tough long distance relationships are very very hard

Answer 8

although i think shes kinda wrong... if her happiness is the most important to you then you should let her do whatever she wants, whatever it is that makes her happy? if you guys are in love then you guys should be able to do whatever it is you have to do to keep it going and going. if she chooses the other guy and shes happy with it then you should be (happy for her) too. how does the saying go: "if you love somebody let them go. if she comes back shes yours thats how you know for sure" ?? something like that.

Answer 9

If she's having a hard time choosing between you and this other guy then she doesn't love you like you say she does. If she loved you then there would be no question in her mind.

Answer 10

don't call her your girlfriend, because in order to have one, you have to hang out with her. not just IM her or talk to her on myspace. she is not your boo. or else she wouldn't be thinking about the dude from alabama. move on and find another fish in the sea.