Is it true that most kids born to teen parents become teen parents themselves?

Question

My grandmother was 18 when she had my biologicial mom. And my biologicial mom was 15 when I was born (it was the result of a rape). Well I was 13 when I became a dad after I got my 12 year old girlfriend pregnant. I am the one who raises the little girl now (her mother left town). I am 17 now and my daughter is 3 and a half. I am now engaged to marry my girlfriend. As three generations of my family ended up teen parents what are the odds my daughter will be a teen mom herself?

Answer 1

I think it all comes down to what you teach them. You can teach them abstinence all you want, but it all comes down to teaching them the TRUTH about what happened to you, and the TRUTH about how hard it was to get by. And be willing to talk about birth control and condoms as well - for all those parents unwilling to talk about it and thinking the speech about "abstinence and God" will work, that's that many more parents who are denying the reality that teens are curious and will most likely do it behind their backs. (note, I didn't say ALWAYS)

My grandmother got prego with my dad when she was almost 20, but before she was married. She pretty much denied that it happened, and then my dad got my mom prego with me before THEY got married. Now, both couples have stayed together and made GREAT marriages out of it, but the fact remained that it happened. My mom, suffering the denial and hypocritcal onslaught from my grandmother, wanted to ensure that it didn't happen to us, so she told us the TRUTH about what could happen, though reminding me that she loved me and would NEVER change anything about what happened, as she loved my father as well. Knowing the facts, I ensured that it didn't happen to me by taking precautions, though I WAS a teen when I first fooled around. However, my sister was rebellious, and ignored the message, and became prego with my nephew before she got married at 20 (and subsequently divorced). She suffered my grandmother's self-hatred, yet had the sense to TELL my grandmother what she could do with it. *grin* My nephew is now 3, and doing well. And I've been married around 4 years and have a 2 year old.

Basically, what I'm saying is, that you CAN break the cycle. But you HAVE to be honest with her, from the time when she asks where babies come from, though you can temper your honesty with her age and tell her more as she gets older.

Answer 2

A lot depends on the family life. Does she have a father who will take an interest in her life starting today if you didn't have a chance sooner. When you get home from work do you spend time with her? Does she feel she has a dad that really loves her for who she is right now. Do you praise her for every thing you can? It has to been more than outward beauty but who she is from the inside out. Do you and your future wife both plan to continue your education? It really is important you both get some education either in a technical school or college? If you are thinking of getting married before you finish your education how are you going to pay the bills? Do you plan to wait before you plan to bring any more children into the world? I would hope you both attend a church together. Most churches offer some counseling which I think is very important to a young couple. Marriages have a hard enough time lasting without a young couple coming into it without giving it plenty of planning. Did the previous marriages all last in your parrents and grandparents homes? Your mother made a wise choice to keep you and not abort you. Actually probably at the time your grandmother got married 18 wasn't all that young by the standards then. It sounds like some member(s) in your family had a head or heads on his/her/their shoulder(s). So I bet you have some pretty good sense in that head of yours. I probably could be your grandmother as far as age is concerned and I bet I sound like it too. hum?? Well best wishes if you do get married as you plan and I do wish the best for that young daughter of yours. I hope you also realize their is more than sexual desire to love, rather caring, and showing that you care even when the other partner isn't being what you expect. Right now you owe it to yourself and that future wife to build a solid home before that future woman you are raising has a chance of turning out to be that wife and mother we know she is capable of becoming. This is a thought provoking question you ask and part of the reason why I think you are capable of making a good father. Strange as it might seem a great many psychologists seem to think the love dads show daughters has an aweful lot to do with the kind of interest girls will have in boys and men as they grow up. If they grow up wanting more than a man for the wrong reasons they probably will grow up also wanting some other fulfillment be it sports, music or a career first before starting a family. It doesn't mean a family isn't important, but the more you have the more you can put into that family. And regardless of what some people believe I sincerely hope and pray that young wife and you will find a church you can both attend and one that young daughter can be in nursery or/ and Sunday School as soon as possible. It gives stability to that home.
Something like building a nest. Usually mother bird does, but in the human world it takes both as I hope will be the case in your nest building.

Answer 3

Statistically speaking, the odds are very high. The problem isn't with the children, it's with the parents raising them.

Because the parents are so young, they don't know what the hell they're doing, frankly. They're more likely to allow the kids to have control of the house, do whatever they want and spend lots of unsupervised time with peers (often because there's no second parent to help out at home.)

To stop the cycle with your daughter, make sure you establish control and demand respect from her from the very beginning - not just when she turns 12. Make sure you always know where she is, know who her friends are, talk to her friends' parents, give her curfews and penalties for not observing them. And of course, make sure she's educated on sex and birth control. Don't be shy about your past - let her know (when she's older) how difficult things are for young parents.

Also, establish a college fund TODAY so she has incentive to do more with her life.

I have very involved parents growing up, and never would have gotten away with ANYTHING. Of course, I moved out at 18 and got pregnant less than 2 months later (no joking!) because they hadn't been open with me regarding birth control, etc. and I didn't learn it at school. So, it has to be a combination of control, respect and education.

Answer 4

If you raise our daughter properly then ho its not a definite that she will end up being a teen parent, Not to say I wasnt raised properly but I'm 18 with a 17 month old daughter and 38 weeks pregnant with a lil boy, and I know that if I raise my kids properly they might learn from my mistakes. But no its not gaurentees she will become a teen parent just beacuse generations of your family have been teen parents.

Answer 5

First ill tell you what i think, then ill tell you what *CAN* happen.

I think that the odds are in favour over the child becoming a teen mother (my friends mom was 16 when she had her) and she is looking like she will be due to get pregnant.

How you raise your daughter, and what knowledgable and helpful experience and information you give her, will reflect the choices she makes and lessen the possibility of her becoming a teen mother. The choice is still down to her, but you have a job as a parent, to affect her choices as possitively as you can. I believe that if you raise her correctly that she can grow up to be a sucess. Believe my friend, believe.

A piece of advice: When she starts to reach the teen years 12-14, when you think it will be the time when she will start to get intersted in sex, please make sure that you educate her on what can happen when having sex. Inform her about the STD's that she can get, and that can even proove to be fatal to her life. If you cannot stop her, please let her do it safely with birthcontrol and condoms. I know this is long away, but keep it in mind.

Answer 6

I am afraid yes she is more likely to follow that pattern. You need to instill different values in her. Let her know that while you don't regret having her, things are better if you wait (when she is older of course.) Sometimes teen parents don't try hard enough to teach their children to wait since they themselves didn't, and then others do it in such a way - too forceful- that the child retaliates in a "who are you to tell me not to do it" attitude. Do your best to be a strong positive role model for her. It *may* be different for her because from a psychological stand point many teen girls get pregnant for lack of a strong father figure.

My mother-in-law had her first at 15. She had 10 kids. 8 were teen parents (including my husband who had a daughter at 18). My mom had her first at 20, her mom at 20, my sister at 20, and myself at 20. We definitely had a pattern! Good luck!

Answer 7

Sad but true. My mom became pregnant with me at 17. Growing up she constantly preached to me that pulling out doesn't work. She was also very honest and open with me because my grandmother was the opposite with her. So, from the time I became interested in boys, my mom told me that when I started thinking about sex to let her know so she could take me to get on birth control. I turned 16, got on birth control long before I had sex the first time. I moved out at 17 and in with my fiance, still on birth control by the way. Low and behold 6 months after moving in with him, I became pregnant. This was 4 months before I turned 18. I'm scared to death that the same will happen to my girls but I will try everything in my power to stop that from happening.

Answer 8

Suprisingly the answer to your question is yes, its not so much its hormonal or anything. Children of teen parents feel less wanted thus sometimes become more venturouse and expiremental. This can lead to drugs, crimes, and yes even children at a younger age. However this does not mean your daughter will have a child at a young age as you and your parents did. This is just statistics.

Quick fact: Many economists believe that legalizing abortion will lower crime rates for similar reasons.

Answer 9

I wish that I could tell you where I read it or heard it, but they said that yes if your a teen parent your child is most likely to be a teen parent. I've seen it in most of my aunts and uncle. Also they say that if you don't go to college your kids are also most likely not to go. So at 34 i am finishing college so I can give my kids a better life. Also I want my kids to see the best of examples.

Answer 10

No. I don't think that's true.Having babies, while young is not, in genes.
It's all about nurture.If I was to have a baby right now;i'm 14,it would probaly depend on my parenting , as to if my kid/s may have a baby while young.
Like, If i was to have my baby now, enroll her in private school, move to a huge house, be very very strict, and make sure, she maintained straight a's: she probaly would end doing every thing the right way.
but,if i kept her in public school, and didn't give a crap about parenting, she'd probaly end up like me.
THAT IS THE BASIC WAY OF PUTTING IT.

another way to look at it, is what IS inherited from parents.
children do inherit: attitudes, sexual drives and way of going about things, from their parents.

those are some things, that could play a roll in generations, of unrelated young pregnacies.