Everytime I speak to my mother in law, she aggrevates me. We have a 9 month old son, who is practially walking.. she suggested WE BUY a PLAYPEN...#1, i am NOT buying a playpen when we already have something similar and he is growing out of it,,,,and then, while we were on the phone today, she overheard my son say, MM MA MA....so she says to me..."why dont you surprise your husband and make the baby say DA DA!!!"...HOw the hell am I supposed to do that??? she is such an idiot...i have been keeping our conversations short and sweet, but she ALWAYS manages to get something in. I also try to talk to her only when my husband is home bec she has said things that he didnt beleive SHE could say, but I wised up and TAPED the conversation..I dont like doing that and keeping it short and sweet is my goal, but what else can i do?? Do i even satisfy her with RESPONSES??? or make pretend i dont hear her/??
2007-03-08 13:11:59 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would just like to add that she knows she is doing this bec she speaks to my hubby first and then to me and says she already spoke to him. she wants to watch him overnight. they live 3 hours away, so there is NO way i will let my 9 month son stay there. they also dont come to visit so much bec of the distance, and my son doenst really KNOW them, like he knows my parents. i am TYING not to let this affect me and my husband, i know that is what she tries to do. He knows ALL about her..I know one day G-D willing i will be a MIL, but now i know what NOT to do!:)
2007-03-08 13:25:51 · update #1
She drives you crazy, but she raised your husband and didn't do too bad a job because you love him, right? When she suggests a playpen or to teach him to say DADA you can say "Thanks for the suggestion, I'll consider doing that" and then change the subject. I like the other answer about getting off the phone. And as far as spending the night, 9 months is the perfect age to claim separation anxiety, even if he doesn't have it. Heck, you can even say that he is unwilling to go to daddy, so you really don't feel like they would have a very good time if he spent the night.
2007-03-08 18:34:50 · answer #1 · answered by n2mama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time you tell her quietly that you appreciate her help, but now she's interferring and you'd like her to back off. I'm surprised your husband hasn't stepped in to put a stop to the woman's interferring nature. Sure does breed trouble. If she lives with you two, find a place for her to live and get her outta there. Pretending you don't hear her only makes it worse.
2007-03-08 21:24:08 · answer #2 · answered by Suzie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop talking to her except for like once a month. Have caller ID? Just don't answer the phone if she calls and you're alone. If you husband is home, say "Your mom is calling!!" and let him get it, or pick it up and say "Hi! I'm up to my elbows in baby doo, here's your son..."
Another technique is to keep the focus on her. Get her talking by asking her questions about herself. Get her talking about her life, or what she did with her kids when they were that age, or anything that will get her talking about HER instead of YOU and your life.
As far as responding to her, be non-committal about it. You say she's an idiot, so try to feel pity for her instead of annoyance. When she tells you to teach him to say da-da, say "Wouldn't that be fun for Hubby!", don't argue about details.
In-laws can be so annoying in general, and I'm sure it's worse since you have an idiot for one. Hang in there!! Just try not to talk to her when you can avoid it, and when you have to, just be polite with general comments and non-committal responses, and keep the focus on her life.
Good luck!!
2007-03-08 21:23:29 · answer #3 · answered by Margie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she doesn't know she's annoying you -- she probably feels closer to the baby by making suggestions/comments.
I suggest you screen your calls... invest in caller ID, and when it's her, just don't answer. Let her leave her smarmy comments to the answering machine, and just press "delete"...Or, you could greet her suggestions with complete silence. Nothing gets your point across like an uncomfortable, prolonged silence.
I will tell you this -- if you force your husband to "choose sides" I can just about promise you will not be happy with his choice.
2007-03-08 21:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by kelannde 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, always try to be polite and tolerant with her. when she suggests things that you are not too keen on, just say, "That's a good suggestion but my husband (name) and I have decided to do it this way. When you want to terminate the conversation, just say "Well, I 'll let you go, I have some work to finish up on, thanks for calling and thanks for the suggestions, Bye for now". I know that Mothers-in-Laws can be a pain but occasionally they might say something that is beneficial, so don't automatically discount everything she says. I always try to be firm, fair, and friendly. Good Luck!
2007-03-08 21:32:36 · answer #5 · answered by The Hiker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple of ways. 1) keep a piece of paper by the phone when she calls crumple it up by the phone and tell her it's a bad connection. 2) Tell her you cannot talk to her because every time you do it feels like she put the Herpes in your ears. 3) Ask your husband to stand up for you. He needs to tell his mother to respect you or not call.
2007-03-08 22:06:47 · answer #6 · answered by mundo808 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i have that same problem unfortunately you just have to deal with it as long you are married to your husband. believe me it just gets worse. my daughter is 2 years old now and she thinks its about time to let her spend the night places mainly with her i just cant let her go yet and she gets mad plus she lives an hour away from us i dont like bein away for my daughter. but you just have to grin and bear it im afraid. i think when you become a mother in law thats one of the requirements is to annoy the daughter in law. sorry but its life
2007-03-08 21:19:45 · answer #7 · answered by mrscandi22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As soon as she says "what are you doing" I say "I need to run out to the store". If you figure out a way to make your son say DADA then let me know. Maybe she should buy a parrot if she wants to train something.
2007-03-08 21:27:42 · answer #8 · answered by Li 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start screening your calls. How often does she call? My mother in law calls and I normally let it go to voicemail and then call her back when it is convenient for me, about once a week. I can't imagine that it would be extremely important to talk to her more than that. Be kind though, one day you will be a mother in law.
2007-03-08 21:15:36 · answer #9 · answered by janeannpat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just tell her u r busy and that u will call her later. or dont pick up the phone when she calls and say u were in the shower or had the vacuum running do whatever it takes to avoid her phone calls
2007-03-08 21:17:27 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋