I love my Dad very much and i did something in the past that hurt him mently not physicly and i know and he knows i cant take it back if i could . I would... But when he is sober during the day he seems to appericate me like i appericate him but when he gets off from work and starts drinking he starts to bring up the past and thinks that im going to do what i did again but im not ...Today i was off from work so i cleaned and organize the whole house hoping he would like it and he did but then when he starts drinking he changes ....what can i do ?
2007-03-08 12:53:19 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You apologized enough. Its time for you to just tell him to get over it. All he is doing is deliberatley trying to manipulate you into feeling bad all over again. Its time for you to take a stand and tell him to quit being a drama queen that it is pathetic and to stand up and be a man and get the hell over it.
He is an alcoholic so dont say this to him when he is drinking. tell it to him right before he starts drinking and that your not going to listen to his whining anymore.
2007-03-08 13:11:59 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When your dad is totally sober he is still having trouble accepting what happen in the past. He uses alcohol as tool to express himself without being held for own behavior. You can almost do anything that seem pleasing, but it's not going solve this situation.
It's time for you to put this in the past and don't be reminded of it constantly. When you pick up your dad from work take him to restaurant and put this problem on the table. Explain in details regarding his remarks when his drinking, and how it is affecting your feeling. Speak clearly and directly from your heart and be passionate, but mostly let him know this is upsetting you. Sometimes we have to be very dramatic to make our point across. If your dad goes into denial stating that it is not happening, don't argue with him!
Just have camcorder or at least tape recorder on hand when the next time it happens. You must have your dad to put this matter in the past. We all done things that we wish we didn't. We already punish ourselves thinking about it as we live our life daily, but what's worst is to be reminded constantly, especially from a person who you love. I am sure you'll know what to say to him...
God Bless
2007-03-08 21:24:03 · answer #2 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father has a drinking problem that has nothing to do with you or the past. The past is the past, whatever happened. If you both decided to bury it and keep your relationship that's how it's supposed to be. If he wants to bring the past back while he is drunk he is damaging your relationship. It is NOT your fault. He needs to clean up his act and you should take care of yourself and move on with your life. Maybe you could suggest AA for him. Talk to him when he is sober.
2007-03-08 21:17:24 · answer #3 · answered by woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you , You did all you could do by apologizing to your Dad. It sounds to me like he has a drinking problem. Maybe you should look into Al-Anon or Alateen, it's a great support group that helps you deal with family members that have drinking problems. I really think you need to get some support. Good Luck & Don't keep beating yourself up.
Check out the website..... http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html
2007-03-08 23:03:48 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is an alcoholic. It is impossible to have a stable and predictable relationship with someone who is addicted. I would suggest going to ALANON, so that you can learn that you really need to live your life without his approval. It will end up consuming you and driving you nuts.
2007-03-08 21:18:47 · answer #5 · answered by katiebug 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to forgive yourself for your action, whatever it is you may have done. There is no reason for your father to be getting drunk over a situation; that is his problem and his alone. You apologized for what you did, and he must learn to move on. Don't take it out on yourself.
2007-03-08 20:56:48 · answer #6 · answered by Dusk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that he is not in his right mind when drinking so ignor that behavior and just go in your room shut the door.
2007-03-08 21:08:10 · answer #7 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is his NOT yours. You are not responsible for the behavior of another human being. His behavior is irresponsible. He's an adult and he should act like one.
What should you do? Grow-up, move out, move on.
2007-03-08 21:01:08 · answer #8 · answered by angry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like if he is drinking every night maybe he needs some help talk him into going top a meeting or something
2007-03-08 20:58:17 · answer #9 · answered by jenny b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we all make mistakes and sadly we let them rule our life's, you seem to be one that is letting it rule you, you need to try and stop this if you know what happened will never happened again be strong and concentrate on getting on with your life, and believe me being a girl that's also not a daddies girl you will end up die trying to please your father so again just be the best person you can be for your self, sometimes its easy to please your self than others
i wish you all the best with your dad
2007-03-08 21:05:18 · answer #10 · answered by maisyn3m ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋