THE EASIEST 10 POINTS EVERRR just make me laugh...clickk here pleasee?

Question

tell me the the funniest joke u have ever heard............its the easiest ten points u can everrr get...just make me laugh and u got the ten points............good luckkk

Answer 1

Sadly I saw a Bunny on the side of the road. I stopped to see what I could do.

It looked like all was lost, then along came this woman. She asked what she could do… and I said, "I am afraid the bunny is dead. There is nothing you can do."

She said, "Wait I think I have something in the car that will help the bunny!"

Off she ran to her car, and ran back with a spray can. She sprayed the bunny. Imagine my shock when the bunny stood up and ran away!

Then it stopped and waved. Then it ran some more, then stopped and waved again! This continued until it was out of sight.

I looked at the woman for an answer

And she said,

"Well the can said,

restores hare with a permanent wave!"

Answer 2

If you want to laugh just look in the mirror
Just kidding, you're beautiful

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Answer 3

One day an employee sends a letter to
his boss asking
for an increase in his salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing
mo$t
de$perately. I think you $hould be
under$tanding of
the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given
$o much $upport
including $weat and $ervice to your
company. I am $ure
you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond
$oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Norman $oh

The next day, the employee received
this letter of
reply:

Dear NOrman,

I kNOw you have been working very
hard. NOwadays,
NOthing much has changed. You must
have NOticed that
our company is NOt doing NOticeably
well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the
world`s leading
ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United
States may go
into aNOther recession. After the
NOvember
presidential elections things may turn
bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You
kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,

Manager


Another one:
Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address: A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived
Date: April 6, 2006
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!



third one:
A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all
die in the same freak accident. So
when they reach the pearly gates, St.
Peter tells them that, unfortunately,
heaven is over crowded, so they each
have to answer a question correctly
for admission.

The teacher is first, and St. Peter
asks, “Name the famous ship that was
sunk by an iceberg?”
“Phew, that one's easy,” says the
teacher, “The Titanic.”
“Alright,” said St.Peter, “you may
pass.”

Then the thief got his question: “How
many died on the Titanic?”
The thief replied, “That's a toughy,
but fortunately I just saw the movie.
The answer is 1500 people.” And so he
passed through.

Last, St. Peter gave the lawyer his
question: “Name them.”


ok...some chuck norris jokes:
one time, chuck norris had a staring contest w the sun..he won (solar eclipses...get it?)

chuck norris is the reason why waldo is hiding

chuck norris is the reason why barney is purple

it takes chuck norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes

the 3 leading causes of death are:1.)heart disease 2.)chuck norris 3.)cancer

chuck norris once ate a whole cake before his friends told him there was a stripper in it

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris invented all 32 letters of the alphabet.

Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

Chuck norris doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Norris

Chuck Norris let the dogs out.

Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb

Some people say that Chuck Norris is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.

Chuck Norris make onions CRY!!!


there's a lot more but u can look them up on my page

Answer 4

This is long, but REALLY funny!
WAX is "Not your Friend"

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their
promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors,
razors, Nair and now...the wax
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home,
fix dinner, and play with the kids. I then had the thought
that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few
hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the
medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise:
the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of
hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand,
they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to
your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right
off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not
a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure
this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing
each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them
together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer
and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I
lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it
tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling,
but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no
longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward
body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the
kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate
hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one
foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the
one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering
the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the
inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale
deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision
returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off
half the strip. OH NO! What have I done???!!! Another deep
breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I
think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear
crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that
has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to
it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over
body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the
toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the
strip. I touch. I am touching wax. WHAT?! I run my
fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is
now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is
still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do
something. So I put my foot down. My LIFE FLASHES BEFORE
ME!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. *Hoo-hoo*?
Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out
what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get
the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to
melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!
I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub,
get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should
melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub -
the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture
prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions
glued together is having them glued together and then
glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water.
Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had
cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to
have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and
have some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good
conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued
together to the bottom of the tub!"
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks
for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.
She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we
talking cheeks or hoo- ha?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side
of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of
someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping
the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to
have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut,
stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving
the sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major
hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic
Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my
saving grace.... the lotion they give you to remove the
excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I
rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens
out of my friend.
Its sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It
works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and
she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then
notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL
THERE...ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now.
Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this
point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color... Now that's funny
... Notttttttttt!!!!

Answer 5

panda wins

Answer 6

george w. bush